Hi everyone,
I'm in a real mess. I've been gambling for 10 years. I know I have a problem and everyday I promise myself I will stop but never do. I've been gambling all my wages every month on slot machines. I've been taking out credit cards and payday loans but they are all maxed out and I have debt collectors phoning me everyday. I even got a ccj last week which I've ignored. Last month I gambled all my wages in 2 hours..I had to lie to my partner and told him I booked a holiday. One of many lies I tell all the time. So somehow I have to come up with another lie to cover that lie. I took on extra shifts at work to get some money back which killed me, I work nights. Anyway I was at work a couple of days ago and the girl I work with saw me on the slots and decided to have a go anyway she won 1000 on one spin and then went on to win about 3000 altogether. This had me raging as I never seem to win more than a few hundred which I never withdraw. I feel so annoyed so when I got paid this morning I thought I would play the same slot...ended up losing all my wages again. I'm totally screwed now. I can be so good and not gamble for a while then something like that triggers me off. I can't even come clean to my partner, he has bailed me out so many times and I promised him I would stop. He can't afford to help anymore. I've ruined his credit rating to. I'm such a horrible selfish person I really don't know what to do anymore. This addiction is making me ill..I feel so stressed..
Hi Lucy...and welcome to the site..like you ...slots sucked me in and left me an addict !
Like you I lied...robbed Peter to pay Paul. .begged and borrowed from anybody....missed payments of everything at one time or another...
All that mattered was me and my laptop....my passport to the slots...
I thought all my answers to my problems would be found if I could just get a decent win....I could clear all my debts....do up the home..treat the kids...enjoy having money in my purse etc etc
Soo....your are not alone in feeling so bad about yourself and the mess you're in....I've been there...and so have many more...
Question is....what you going to do about it ?
I'm not going to tell you what to do love....but I'll tell you what I did over 600 days ago...
Rang the helpline...
Blocked all gambling sites via parental controls on my broadband..
Engaged in the free counselling from gamcare..
Started a diary on here..
Spent as much time as possible reading on here...
Gave my laptop to my daughter..
re juggled my daily routine as much as possible...
It's not easy at all...especially in the early weeks....but as you're days gamble free mount up...and you start to understand how you got so sucked in...things become clearer...debt can always be sorted...may take a long time...but it can be chipped away at....creditors will often start heavy handed to get money back...but in my experience if your honest with them they'll accept offers in the end...
I thought I could fight my addiction myself....wrong choice...
Once my addiction was out in the open...amongst close family...it all became real....no sordid secrets....that seemed to give me extra strength....anyway love...long winded ...but just thought id let you know. ...I know exactly how you're feeling....
Have a read of my diary....it may help...take care x
Some great advice there loxxie, stay strong everyone.
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