So I ran up a load of debt with cards/loans over the course of my break up: self excluded back in 2011 and didn’t go near any websites.
I was paying £1000 a month to try and clear my debt from 2016 until November 2023
then something took over me after taking out an IVA in November: I was finally getting straight: lost a baby in February and now I have lost everything.
I used gambling as my tool to escape. My dad gave me £3000 to get a car and I have gambled that and another 3000 I had saved all the hope of winning big.
I can’t find any local gambling groups around my area and I think I need something to help me through my slump.
Hi Mimi
Clean time can not be lost.
I have gone to other local reecovery groups when I could not get to GA most meetings welcomed me.
For me the recovery program helped me understand when I was emotionally vulnerable and what my emotional triggers were.
Money lost has gone, I can not change history.
The ideal situations is to learn from our past unhealthy time and actionns but to not continue living in the pains of our past.
The money was a fuel for my escaping people life and situations when I was emotionally vulnerable.
I got to understand that deep down I was a bad evil or stupid person.
The recovery program helped me learn how to heal my pains.
You lost a baby which is very painful and traumatic in time you will find a way to heal those pains.
It is not healthy to try and pay your debts to quickly, you are just puttin your self under more preasure.
The recovery program helped me learn to hand over my money and only have coffee money or snack money on me.
The recovery program helped me learn that paying money will end once I take thing more slowly.
I learned to be more tolerant and patient with my self.
My emotional triggers were pains I could not heal.
My emotional triggers were my fears I could not face and reduce.
High levels of fear caused me to go in to panick more.
My emotional triggers were my frsutrations due to my expectations of people life and situations I could not reduce.
My emotional triggers were my feelings of boredome due to not being productive with my time.
My emotional triggers were my loneliness because I could not have healthy intimacy because I feared being hurt again.
Do you understand what your last emotional trigger was.
Please commit as much time and energy in to your recovery as you can.
Write down your needs, your wants and your future golas.
You can also find zoom recovery meetings.
Healing peace and love.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
I really feel your Pain this is exactly what happened to me.
I was the same gambled to block out things I didn’t want to deal with and it stole nearly 30 years of my life I got my debts sorted and the first thing I though was I have more money to gamble now and I had a secret life family and friends knew I gambled but not to the extent I did coming clean and finally faced my demons head on has really been a emotional rollercoaster but gone is the anxiety surrounding gambling I actually have money not a lot but I’m not skint the same day I get paid then wonder how the hell im getting through the month still only 3 weeks in but can feel the difference in my mental health already good luck with your journey
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