Hi all,
I'm new here. I've had a read of some posts and some of the stuff I've seen scares me to be honest. I have a credit card but I don't use it for gambling. I spend on gambling within my means although it's still too much in my eyes, because I wouldn't disclose how much I place on individual bets. I want to take action now and put a stop to it. My new years resolution is to stop gambling completely.
The main concern at the moment is I'm due to see a mortgage lender with the GF for an offer we have had accepted on a house together. I've read that gambling is frowned upon and may affect my chances of getting a mortgage. This has got me panicked. I've transferred over in the region of £700 in 3 months which is what will appear on my other statement - account I have set up with different bookmakers, with £10 and £20 deposits to various bookmakers here and there. The bombshell which has really dropped is that I have nothing to show for that £700. Thats a nice chunk of money in 3 months. Has anybody had experience with mortgages being denied because of this?
I suppose the other issue is because I feel that this figure wasted is too high IMO - does this mean I have a problem for which I'm not aware of. This is the reason I want to stop!
Hi BB, welcome to the forum 🙂
I can’t give you mortgage advice I’m afraid but I can tell you as a compulsive gambler who spent decades in denial that if you have found your way here, chances are you do have a problem.
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/20-questions
GA has a list of 20 questions which I have attached that...Answer them honestly & if you have @ least 7 marked as Yes, I would urge you to seek help now before this spirals out of control but in any case, why wait for New Year.
Hi, thanks for the reply.
I've just done that test honestly and was hitting 5.
I'm not concerned to the extent that some people on here have written but I feel rotten having totalled up the loss generated over the last 3 months. I've never been that out of control where I have felt that I need to use a credit card or steal from anyone to chase losses. The realisation as to how much I've wasted has hit home and gave me a reality check that in the long term you'll never beat the bookies. What hurts the most is the fact that this issue may come up in the mortgage meeting. Moving forward I think it's the best thing that could have happened because it's given me a reality check.
myStop now as it’s only going one way. The fact you’re questioning it and worried about implications for your other half shows there is an issue. Fast forward 2 years and you could be like the people you say you aren’t
The fact you’re on here shows you know it’s an issue so take that as your wake up call
Hi big brad I'm wife of a cg. My cg never had any problems getting credit mortgage or otherwise. I don't think that's a good thing. He was like you before mortgage and marriage. Earning great money, rented, only himself to please, but nothing to show for it. Reality is he spent the next 20 years continuing secretly, stopping for one year. Money has no meaning to him. It's just tokens to play. It got total control over him, mentally. Now he doesn't have that job, so now if he goes again it will be devastating. He kidded himself he could afford it. But he lost time, missed important things with his children. The damage to our relationship will never really be repaired. Not only are you compulsive gamblers you are compulsive liars. It's progressive it only gets worse, bigger debt bigger lies. Is it fair to get a mortgage with your gf and not alert her to the damage you could cause? I've handled finance for 15 years. All bills paid, mortgage etc. There have been many loans too! Don't think this will go away, you'll be able to gamble responsibly, if you think it's a problem, it is. Face it and don't hide it. That's my advice, whether you take it is another matter.
The fact you're here shows it's a problem. There's a saying in GA - 'I haven't done that...yet'. Resolutions are all very well but it's progressive and it can (maybe has already?) slip very quickly beyond the reach of willpower alone. Proper blocks, honesty with those around (please do your girlfriend the courtesy of giving her an informed choice over whether she wants to take this on) and getting to the root of what's driving the problem via counselling and GA attendance are the tried and tested ways forward.
Also agree with MGR. Mr L had no trouble obtaining eye watering amounts in loans and credit cards twice over.It's no good thing for a gambler.
Thank you very much for the replies. I will utilise the information given - being honest and upfront with GF and kicking this thing out of touch!
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