Spreadbetter

@dan781 Thank you dan for taking the time to write. This afternoon and evening have been particularly bad.  Feels like it’s one step forward and two steps back.  I cannot tell my family.   Everything seems so futile.  I come up with ideas and plans, a way forward, and then a wave of anguish hits me.  I still cannot believe or rationalise what happened to my mindset, why it happened.  And I cannot trust myself to go forward. Dark place

Hi @emmapoint,

I just wanted to add to what others have said and let you know that we are here for you 24/7. If you're having a bad afternoon/evening/any time then you are welcome to get in touch and talk to an adviser about what's happening for you. We're happy to listen, to help you put together a plan to move forward or encourage you with what you have decided, we want to support you in whatever way suits you. Even if you've already been in touch, we offer continued support throughout your recovery. On the helpline (0808 8020 133) or netline (www.gamcare.org.uk/netline), we are here for you.

Best wishes,

Elizabeth
Forum Admin

Hi Emma. You have to unburden yourself of everything that is currently weighing on you like a tonne of bricks. By not telling your loved ones or a therapist bottles the problem and makes it far worse.i mentioned before i was scared stiff to come clean with my wife and mum, but I did it. You'll be surprised how you feel once you've done it. To be brutal, if those nearest and dearest to you dont support you, it's not the end of the world. When you're at your lowest ebb, you find out the true colours of those you thought were most important.  your primary concern is yourself and your well being, and to close down those trading accounts immediately. I eventually waved the white flag and realised I will never get back the money  i squandered and i had to move on to have a proper life, and one not dominated 24/7 by thinking where the markets are trading.

Hiya Emma 

Sorry to read your story and all the feelings your feeling are normal for a problem gambler I know it's hard for you due to what you do but I really think you've got to much pressure on yourself at the moment. And most of the time what we think others will say is totally wrong after they get over the initial shock. By your partner known it'll take the stress off you having to lie off your shoulders and believe you me I know how much stress that is and what it can cause, I can't say 100% how your partner will react but just feel you need that help to crawl out the whole your in as it's a horrible place and we all know what a evil addiction we're in but there's ways out and your using the site and reaching for help that takes courage and you can be strong we're only humans and all make mistakes 

Hi Emma. I've read your thread over the past week and have felt a lot of the pain and shame (and in my case panic) that you have recently gone through. It's so difficult to deal with a heavy hit that comes not so much from the initial loss but that chasing losses phase we have all gone through where we are in a completely illogical zone of nothing else existing in the world other than our chase to recover the damage.

Can I ask if you are struggling particularly with the sensation of the loss or is it more the practicalities of life as a result of the loss, or a bit of both. In my case I lost rather a lot of money in a very short spell and have not gambled since for 50 days. It's certainly true that time does heal in terms of the initial gut wrenching pain you feel but of course I do understand that in a number of cases it's also a question of dealing day to day with practically not having enough cash to live. I wasn't sure what your situation is as a result of your recent gambling loss? 

Thank you @MythDunk

feeling so low it’s over whelming.