Starting over again.

Glad to hear from you...and well done on staying gamble free...sorry little man is not well...it's hard when there so clingy....keep that precious money for you and your little baby...have a great each ...you will feel like P**P if you loose it all...you can do this honey...your a good mummy and you can make your son proud
I'm ok thanks love....except exsauted. ..I run a small pub and have had the busiest weekend in ten years....had my granddaughter who's two today...and I open the bar at five...so trying to keep going ! Lol...but honestly love....life's good without gambling....stay strong when that money hits your account....make me proud....and yourself even prouder x

So far so good. Thanks its easy when I havent got money its when I get paid I struggle. Ahh thanks. Hes finally asleep. Took him for a walk n a bit of fresh air. Think we both needed it tbh. Yeah thats exactly what am going to do. Cant live like before. Not now that I have him. Ahhh you been a very busy bee. Bet you cant wait to relax and put your feet up later. Happy birthday to your granddaughter. Hope she has a brilliant birthday. It is. I know so many things I want and need instead of wasting it. And its not like I win cause even when I do I waste it back again. I was so happy before when I didnt gamble for over 2years. Life was good. Itll be like that again. Thanks hun. Its good having someone who understand to talk about it to xx hope you rest up when you get the chance 🙂 x

Glad you've had a lovely day Alicia...making special memories for you and little man...and they don't have to be expensive ones ! Lol...like you honey I would go without haircuts...crappy clothes etc...rather shove it in an online slot....now I enjoy spending it on myself....and of course my children and grandchildren....and I've even saved a bit !. ..it's taken a while to get back in that way id thinking but it's great....and you will get there as well...like you said you done two years...I found the gamcare couselling wonderfull...I appreciate chikdcare may be tricky...but if you can get to it ...I'm sure it would help...maybe worth trying if you can....have you any family around for support ?. ..
Try to be strong when that money hits your account love...your little man needs his mummy to be his " everything '...I'm here if you get a wobble...
And yes...I'm shattered...but happy...off to bed now...hope your Prince lets you get a good night's sleep...remember...one spin...is one to many for us.x

Thanks hun. Yeah I love it. Today we re off out abit of shopping. Want to buy him a outfit but as hes a tiny baby struggling. Lol he weighted only 6.8lb now hes 6.10. Lol notting fits. Same here. So many things id need but the slots got it instead. Not anymore. I have woken up to give him a feed and normally id be gagging for my next fix but tbh the eurge is not their atm. I feel notting other than tired which before wouldnt have stopped me. Its just me and kian. I have no family around. Thats why its harder. Just me and my bundle of cutiness. But done it before so can do it again. Thanks hun. Going to try go back to sleep in a min hopefully the voices dont get in my head. Thanks again. Its really good to talk to you. Day 4 clean of online slots x hope you have a good good night sleep xx

Still awake as I cant seem to go back to sleep but still going strong as I have not gambled. Thank god. Treated my lil man to two new outfits and a blanket. And have paid my bills. Have been even good enough to send my bro a 10a. My family dont live in the uk. Dont sound a lot but for me it Is as before every penny I had went on gambling. So feel great I have done something. FINALLY get to get my laptop out the shop which has been on buy back for a few months. Feeling brilliant. Going to put something on to eat as am starving and my eating is no existence at the moment. Lol. Life is finally looking up. Love my lil man to the moon and back x thank you x

Glad you've managed to not play
...well done love....I'm sorry to read you have no support ...in my area there is a group called " home start"...helps young single mum's I think...maybe something in your area....is getting your laptop back going to make you want to play slots ?. ..just a thought....I gave mine to my daughter....never played using my phone....but have got blocks on internet which keep me safe...love your little boys name...tescos do a very good range of tiny baby clothes....one of my grandsons was very premmature...only 1llb born !. ..all ok now...bought
a lot of clothes for him there...
You are doing so well fighting this addiction alone...with a little baby to care for....just try to get by one day at a time love....what part of the country are you living love...?
Maybe there's some mum and baby groups around...anyway....look forward to catching up with you later....stay safe...weather's lovely here....mabe pack a picnic...head of out with little kian in the buggy....x

Me to hun. I am pround that I am slowly getting their. Normally its the first time thats hard for me after am ok. I have home start hun. I go to a baby group on thursday and a living without abuse monday. Well try to on the monday one as they dont have baby care. Nar my laptop is to slow. Lol I normally use it to download shows I missed on tv. I normally gamble on this. My kindle. Thanks hun. Its kian-james. I went in our local tesco yesterday. Was rubbish..even tried primark. He has loads of clothes. Just abit big. I wanted a nice sunny outfit for him. Ahhh bless am gald hes ok. :). I have friends but they have kids and their own life so sometimes support is short but am getting their. I live in eastmidlands.Loughborough. I will do hun. Meeting a friend in town today. Weather is not the best here today. X

Hope you have a good day hun x

Well I have done it. Actually feel really good. Normally would be feeling stressed out and down because I would have wasted money I couldn't afford. But not today.paid my bills and treated my lil man. Gpt what I need and still have money lefted over to last till I next get paid. Now in bed after going to relaxing as am shattered. Actually feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. Day 4 of the rest of my life. One very happy bunny x

Eurge is slowly creeping in on me. But just trying to keep my mind and hands busy . Got to stay strong xx

Still going strong :)x

Well done you have nothing to gain by having a bet. Keep strong.

KTF

Thanks oldhamktf. Exactly notting to gain and a lot to lose. Got through the day yesterday now just today. Day 5 and counting x hope your ok oldham x

Hey Alicia...massive well done on getting through " payday"...lovely to read that you enjoyed paying couple bills and a meet up with friend....hope little kian is being a good boy for his very strong mummy and not waking to much in the night....you fought those urges when they struck...not easy when your fighting the addiction in early days as you well know...but you did it !
Another day gamble free....equals another day of winning....stay strong honey....keep looking forward to a gamble free future for you and Kian...have a good day love x

Morning, just read your diary from the start. Firstly congratulations on the birth of your lovely little boy, you sound like you are a great mammy, you want the best for him and yourself and have been busy putting all the blocks into place to make that happen. It must be difficult being on your own, ask your health visitor if there are any groups you can go to, have a look on your tablet to see what is available in your area. keep fighting those urges, your little man is your biggest incentive to do this. Take care.