Hi I am kind of stuck - I have struggled on and off (Mostly On) with a chronic gambling addiction for years. I have tried almost everything. I am on gamstop and that really did help me stop gambling at uk online casinos. But then a few years ago I found crypto... - and some here I am sure will be aware just how easy it is to get into a terrible mess.
I am responsible for my own addiction - but now it has spiralled. I came into some money and yep I have gambled almost everything away. Last night through to the early hours of this morning - I hit an all time low - putting nearly 5k through... I did stop short of loosing everything - but I feel that terrible gamblers hangover today. My son relies on me financially - (he is not well) and what a great dad I am!
...I have to really start to combat this filthy addiction. I hate gambling - it never makes me happy - even when I have won (rare) it makes me anxious - affects my sleep and I turn into a horrible selfish short tempered person.
I have been on certain forums many times the past 10 years or so - with those eloquent posts of "today is day 1" and so on. It never worked - the addiction always reels me back in. I really dont know what to do right now. Im 56 - living in rented accommodation - I have a self employed job which brings some money in - but am up to my eyeballs in debt , although this month at least everything is paid. But why do I keep going back to something which I really do not enjoy - I cant figure it out. Gambling is so anti social and I would say immoral.
Years ago I admit I did enjoy it - the thrill - the community , but all that is gone now - and I feel like an empty shell no matter if I loose £10 or £1000 (last night was around 4.5k I cant face looking at my banking app yet)
... The "stop" I know has to come from within me and my own mind set.
I am not even sure if this is making any sense but maybe it helps some to put words down. I am something of a mess today - feel like I have been drinking all night with a hangover - thats how it feels even though I didnt drink. I wont bother with insulting people here by saying "today is my day 1" but I know I have to stop - not just for the money, because by now I detest money but also because of the psychological damage it does and how it makes me feel.
I live something of a lonely life right now as I am a full time carer for my son, no real family around - and the isolation can get me to. Then i think to myself just "50 quid" like last night which ended up being close to 5grand wasted. Let alone the hours I spent from 6.30pm until 4am chasing. Then the horrible sleep that follows and the way things hit you soon as you open your eyes. Today feels c**P and Im just really not sure what my next step should be.
Not even sure why im writing this but here I am. thanks DaveJo
Go to a GA meeting.Â
Hi @Dave
Thank you for being so open and honest and sharing what's going on for you right now.
It sounds like you are feeling exhausted managing your gambling on top of your caring responsibilities and other life stressors. It shows determination to be returning to the forum, and all you can focus on is taking small steps forward.
As @Dave101 has mentioned, Gamblers Anonymous could be an option for you. If you wanted to find your local meeting, you can do so here: https://gamblersanonymous.org.uk/meeting/
We also run our group live chat, from 8-9pm each night, if you preferred a virtual based support group.
If you don't already have Gamban in place, this is a protective measure you can put in place and our free download link is here: http://www.gamban.com/gamcare
Please do get in touch with the helpline on 0808 8020 133 if you would like to discuss further support and next steps with an adviser. We are also available via live chat and open 24/7.
Take care,
PhoebeÂ
Forum Admin
Get those blocks in place. Gamban, Gamstop, Bank blocks. Make it as hard as you can to gamble. This should be your top priority. If you have savings left, lock them away in an ISA or give them to a family member.
It's tough when you live alone, but your despair shows me you really do want to quit. Your first post here is a great place to come back to when you next feel like putting in £50. Read it back. There is help out there. As mentioned GA shows a commitment to yourself that you mean this. It also provides the support you need in the early days. The forum is a great place to get your thoughts down, or to read others stories, and the chatrooms are full of people in similar situations. Engage with all the help you can get.
I hope to see you back on here, and maybe in the chatrooms.
Stay strong 👍Â
Hi
On walking in to the recovery program I did not know how emotionally vulnerable I was traumatized by being consumed by my gambling addiction or stuck as you call it.
I did not fully understand how unhealthy I use to be.
Once involved in the recovery program for me non religious I got to understand what my emotional triggers were.
Emotional triggers for me my were pains I could not heal, an emotional trigger were my were fears I could not face and reduce, an emotional trigger were my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations I could reduce, an emotional trigger were my fears of emotional intimacy and feeling a loner and disconnected, an emotional trigger for me was boredom because I could feel productive and I was not able to commit to my needs my wants and in time set goals for me to achieve.
Using gamstop is just one of the healthy tools that help us from abstaining from Gambling.
I now understand that I am responsible for my own addiction now.
But in those earlier years I could help myself being on my own.
If my boss asked me to work for month without pay what would I feel in myself.
Yet month after month I would completely waste all the money time and effort it took me to earn that money.
Money was never the problem.
Gambling was never the problem.
Gambling was a way of me escaping people life and situations.
I think that gamblers hangover is self inflicted emotional painful trauma.
You say you are 56 years of age I am 77 years of age and understand that recovery works if you put your heart in to it.
Only by abstaining and going to meetings could I heal the hurt inner child in me.
My life was a very unhealthy lonely life no emotional intimacy in my life.
Just filled with pains and fears I could not resolve or heal.
Thanks Dave for your sharing.
Your honesty is your strength today.
Healing Love and peace to everyone.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Â
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
