Student with no finance because she gambled it all away!!

Hey Pinky , I dont quite know what to say to you right now , you must feel really down . You really do need to get some help , if your just betting until everythings gone then things have got really bad . The good news is that there's a lot of help out there but youre gonna have to come clean , accept that people are going to know you have a problem and ask for help . I really think however hard its going to be you need to speak to your parents , prove to them your serious about getting help for your addiction . My sons in his 2nd year at uni and has had problems with his finances particularly in his first year , he seemed to go crazy when he got his first student loans and grant and blew pretty much all of it in a short space of time . Although I was angry at the time , I was still glad he could talk to me about his problems and that I was able to help [ thats what parents are for ? ]. This year we agreed that he would transfer all his money to my account and that I would transfer money weekly for food and monthly for rent , It works . Maybe thats what your gonna need to do when your new loan comes in January ?. If your parents are unable to help ? then you should speak with student services at your uni , they have crisis loans available which maybe of use , at least until you get youreself sorted . Just talk to eighther them or your parents Pinky coz you really need to open up and confide in someone that can help !. I'm not gonna preach to you about the gambling darling , except to say it's c**P ! It destroys you , makes you feel worthless , and that if you continue down this path you will end up with nothing , in debt and will lose everyone that you hold dear !. Stop now honey , while your young . You have your whole life ahead , the chance of a good education and a good job at the end of it . Please stop now ! Speak with someone and get some help , then get on and enjoy your life . !! I wish you well Pinky and if you need to talk were all here for you ! Bye for now ...... Alan

Hi Pinky,

I echo Alan's comments above please take a heed in them. We are all either battling to stop gambling or remain stopped so you are not alone. Just reach out and get help because if you stop now your situation won't be made worse by more gambling. Please DON'T ever chase the money you lost as you know it will make it a whole lot worse than it is. I know from the experience that I personally always seemed to be able to find money when it comes to chasing losses but it always ends up in more tears and bigger regrets. if I got it correctly from your post that you had stopped before, so I'm pretty sure you have that strength within you that you can do it again... Don't be harsh on yourself, accept that you simpy made a mistake and the money is gone, not coming back. Everyone makes mistakes. Use this as a motivation to stay away from wasting your money on those lifeless betting sites when the urge strikes to gamble. It will get better, hang in there pinky, we are all here to support each other.

Take care now,

Ergos (recovering compulsive gambler)

Thank you so much for the replies. I have been gambling on and off for around 4 years now. The reason I can't tell my family is because I put my mum and dad through hell the first time. I tried to commit suicide, because of gambling.

I have made an appointment with student funds at university and I'm going seeing them later.
I also emailed the university councilor.

Hi Pinky! I can fully understand you not wanting to involve your parents, especially with what youv'e disclosed. However , do you not think they might already have a feeling your still gambling ?. Maybe they have there suspicions but could be waiting for you to make the first move ?. So sorry to hear that gambling drove you to the extreme last time , please, please dont consider that an option this time, Its just not worth it . However bad it ever gets , its just money !!. Money that can eighther be written off, or repaid over time and dont ever forget that Honey, because thats all it boils down to !!. Well done on contacting student support !, times like these are exactly what they are there for to support you . Perhaps you could contact the gamcare advisors ? bye phone or online which ever is best for you . They could maybe advise you on the steps you need to put in place to control your gambling ? I'm really pleased you took the step forward , to open up and share your problem , it really does help to talk to people who know how you feel and have shared the same experiences . I hope things work out for you Pinky and am sure the uni will be able to help . If you need any other help or advice there's tons on this site and were always glad to chat . Keep posting Pinky and let us know how your getting on with things !. Stay strong , take little steps one day at a time . Alan who will not gamble today x

I confided with one of my close friends at university and he came with me to the meeting, he was an absoloute superstar. The university has been great as well, I went and had an emergency appointment with a councilor; which was well needed. I don't think my money situation will change though, as I have to apply for a discretion fund. I may not get that, but I will keep hopefull. It has been a very long day, I also have a job interview tomorrow, so I have my fingers crossed for that.

I feel really dissapointed in myself, as I have worked so hard to get myself into university and I don't want to throw it all away. I have so much to look forward to as well; I really don't understand why I did it? I was struggling for money before I did it and now I seem to have just made things worse for myself.

Hi Pinky, welcome to recovery 🙂

Great work in letting this dirty little secret out & I'm so chuffed that you had a friend to lean on (kudos to him, if he needs any support, Gamcare is here for him too)! Gambling is very common among people with depression because people find whilst the reels are spinning they don't have to think & it allows them to escape from their sadness! It is a false promise, gambling doesn't make us rich & when the money runs out the problems that were there to start with are compounded!

You need to break your Time-Money-Location triangle permanently for when you have money again...download blocking software on your devices (K9 is free but there are others available) & ditch any that don't support it! You should also look @ counselling as they can explore your depression & give you different methods to cope when you are feeling low, ones that don't cause you pain!

You have done incredibly well to make it to University & going out & getting a job will stand you in good stead for the future...You can turn this whole sorry mess into a positive & make this a turning point in your life so that you can be proud of you 🙂

Chin up you, we know you can do this - ODAAT

Good for you Pinky! Its always good to confide in people you can trust , it definately helps lift the burden !. Glad the Uni is being understanding and I'm pretty sure that if they can help financialy they will . Even if you end up pleading poverty , they do have a duty of care over there students. As for the gambling , most of us on here spend a lot of time anylising ourselves and we still cant fully understand why we do something that ultimately destroys our live's and takes away any self esteem we once had ?. It may do you good to read some of the long term members diarys on here as they can be full of info that you may find helpfull with recovery . They will also make you aware that as a group we all work hard to continue to keep the gambling demon at bay !. I wont pretend its going to be an easy road Pinky but its a road you have to take now ! . As I've said , your still young and have your whole future to look forward to, grab that opportunity Honey and run away from gambling as fast as you can !!. Never look back , whats done is done and you cant change that , but you are able to change your tommorow !!. Good luck with the job interview... Take care for now Alan