The End / The Beginning

Sounds a lot like my own situation. Just coming to terms with it myself.
I've done a few things the past couple of days which have had a huge impact.
Confided in my wife who has been very supportive and we've talked about it a lot the past few days

Set myself some goals and targets. Some personal, some financial. I opened a savings account and moved 100 quid in to it. One of my targets is to get to 1000 in parallel to getting credit card balance down and mark the occasion - not quite decided how yet

Past couple of nights have been big for me as am normally consumed by how my football and golf bets are doing. Consciously avoided these events and actually noticed in myself that I was a lot less agitated than I normally am by following games and players progress. I've started a journal to document these thoughts.

It's very early days but I feel very positive and today actually feel happy, so am determined to keep it up and always have something to look forward to.

All the best I hope this helps if it's not right for you then I hope others can offer advice too.

Good luck

Thank you. It helps just knowing that others are in a similar situation and also taking decisive action. I like the idea of the journal and may try it myself. I wish you the absolute best in attaining your goals. I feel confident that I can stop gambling - the thing I have more of a problem with is the self-loathing of having wasted so many opportunities to treat and do lovely things with my family instead of pouring it into a bookies' coffers. Money doesn't buy happiness, I know that, but we would have such happier memories if I had used the money in a different way. I really detest what I have done.

I know me too. Really focused on the future now though. I won't forget what I am but hopefully won't dwell on it now either.

Hi grundy1975,

All of us in here i'm sure feel like what could i have done with that money, could have had a holiday/deposit on a house etc. Thing is well you were betting and had the money you never thought about doing anything like that, the betting was the focus and consumed you/us all.
Now you've stopped its hard looking back, but now you have to look at a much brighter future WITHOUT GAMBLING.
Channel the negative feeling and regret this will help you overcome betting. But now you have to look to the future, you can use the money wisely now, enjoy it with family and freinds and use the experience to grow as a person.
I found gambling not only affected me massively financially, but personally like you i got more moody, agitated waiting for bets and ignored others in my life. I'm determined to be a better person now and wish for your success also.

Tnsk

Hi Grundy... we're all in the same boat and I can relate to everything you have been posting. I too have a problem with sports betting. It's not easy to overcome and you will see if you read my diary that I had a recent relapse. The financial position is a constant reminder of all the bad stuff. Some how we have to try and block it out. Remember it's there in the background but move on and do things with our lives. It's really tough but give it a go. You can do it and you'll slowly begin to see an improvement in your finances. Those things money could have bought you in the past will buy you them for the future! Keep up the good work.

I'm sure we all feel the same about the money we have lost or the debt we have accumulated. I think the trick is to block all them thoughts. Look to the future and concentrate on congratulating yourself with the money you will save by not gambling anymore. Even of its not actually a saving, but paying a bill u maybe wud have skipped had u still been gambling. When u see some financial benefit from not gambling u will feel better about your future and less guilty about your past. Good luck in your recovery x

Hi grundy1975

Self-loathing seems to be one of the more common feelings that gamblers experience. If you stop gambling for a period of time, and try to live a 'normal' life, I guarantee that you will come to like yourself.

For me, this took approx 9 months of being gamble free, and attending GA meetings before I realised that I could look in the mirror and actually not feel disgusted.

re the money that I lost. I came to terms with the fact that I will never get that back. We all make mistakes in our lives, and gambling was my biggest. I don't dwell on it as it won't help me by doing so.

Has your partner been told of any/all your debts re gambling? Has she or someone taken control of your finances? Have you thought about attending GA meetings or speaking to a counsellor etc?

It's only in recent years that this addiction has been recognised for what it is. It can, and does break up families, people do go to gaol, people do go insane, and people do attempt suicide. Treat the problem that you have with due respect, otherwise it will get the better of you.

Best wishes

Just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have responded to this post with such sincere support and sage advice. Gambling can be such a selfish, destructive addiction but I can honestly say that in the mere five days I've been on this site and all the posts I have read, I have never 'met' a community of such selfless, giving people. Respect to the lot of you.

Hi all,

Three things happen today which are important to me.

First of all, it's a week since my last bet and am feeling good about it. I don't really have any urges - my darker moments are about the guilt and self-loathing, about which people have already posted some really helpful and supportive comments above.

The second is that it is payday and so the resolve I have felt over the past week was translated into positive, practical action as the first thing I did this morning was take the first of what will be numerous steps in putting my finances right.

The third is that it's my partner's birthday this weekend and I'm looking forward to taking her out to dinner tonight and planning things to look forward to together (without having a nagging doubt in my mind or being distracted by live bets).

I joined this forum this time last week, more as proof to myself that I meant it than because I expected to get much out of it, but I was very wrong. It is an incredibly important component of the road to a better future. Thank you.