The feeling of guilt

Hi all,

I just thought I would take some time to post on here again, as one of the biggest things i have been struggling with, and I know from my GA group, one of the biggest things others struggle with is the guilt of what we have done to the people we care for most in this world - our loved ones.

It is now 14 months since my lovely wife had enough of my gambling (after 5 or 6 attmepts) and got rid of me, and to be honest, ever since then I have been riddled with guilt regarding all of the bad things I have done to her, and my beautiful children. Maybe due to the fact that I am taking part in stop-tober rather than drowning my sorrows, and I have finally lifted my head out of the ground to realise this but, although I did do alot of aweful and horrendous stuff when I was in the grips of the gambling, I have also done some wonderful things for everyone and am not the fully fledged a******e I beat myself up for being.

Now I love my wife undoubtedly, and as unlikely as it is happening, if she asked me to go back tomorrow I would be there like a shot!!

This week I have done something for my family, which I am certain not many people in the world would do without a fight, but to me it felt right. I didn't do what I did for any other reason than the love I have for them all, but as a side effect, for the first time in a long time I feel like a big part of my guilt has been lifted.

So I really just wanted to share with everyone who is currently going through the "guilt phase", it will pass at some point. For me, it took 14 months, for others in my group it was much shorted and for others longer, but I promise you this.......

One day it will go and you will almost see a glimps of sunlight appearing through the clouds

Plum