The first day

you could give gamcare a ring? get some support and advice?

Well done for coming clean,.it's a big step. I'm pleased u have your partners support. U need to reward her now by sticking to your proMise. My.other half has.never forgiven me and actually said he would be less angry if I'd cheated! It's deceipt whichever way u look at it and we need to do this for them as well as ourselves x

Thank you, I didn't plan to but I'm so glad I did. She said that she feels betrayed which I understand, and like you say I think in a way she would have preferred I'd cheated. I know she'll go through lots of feelings and it's going to take a while to get the trust back. I've self excluded myself and I've said that she can look at my bank accounts and credit card statements from now on. Hopefully that will go some way to repair the damage. I still can't believe I've been so stupid and am beating myself up but am trying to look forward and deal with stuff rather than look back

You are starting with the total correct attitude. Lots of us look back with regret and "if onlys". It doesn't solve anything. What's done is done and we can't change it but we can change our future. You need to forgive yourself and recognise that this is an addiction. An illness. All be it one we created, but not through choice. Just as Somebody that uses sunbeds or lays in the sun then later develops skin cancer doesn't deserve it. Someone like my mam who died of lung cancer and had smoked for years didn't deserve it. A harsh comparison I know but none of us began gambling knowing where we would be now. We are lucky we have a chance of recovery...which we CAN control. I wish u well and will keep checking in on your progress x

Hi. Your situation sounds very similar to mine. My addiction was online sports betting as well. The problem I find its just too easy nowadays on phones, laptops, etc. The adverts don't help either! I hope you're doing well.

It's everywhere and I think that is the problem. I can go to a casino and play black jack and roulette and remain in control, but with online sports betting I was always looking for the next game to bet on, sure I couldn't predict the outcome. b****5 was my main issue, will be leaving the room or finding a distraction next time one of the adverts comes on, which during football is frequently.

I haven't gambled for 2 days and my bank account hasn't been touched, I feel a great sense of relief, although I know it's only the start and my partner is only beginning to get her head around it. But time's a healer and the key I believe

Well done. I've said I've 'given up' 3 times before but the guilt was too much and I tried to win it all back. I would, but then throw it all away on Portuguese second division football!!! Today is day 1 for me but I feel the weekend will be hard.

I know exactly what you mean, ive tried to cut it down before just putting small bets on but then end up increasing the stakes and betting on ridiculous leagues to try and win what I've lost. It's laughable when I think of it. The thing is I'd like to think I'm not a stupid person, but I think I have a very addictive personality and that's something I'm also coming to address. I think I'll be ok this weekend as there's no premier league football, but the week after may well be tough.

If you won big, did you put it all back on or withdraw the money? That's my most frustrating part because I never did. Just wanted to know if other people made the same mistakes I did. Are you going to try the councilling?

Every time I won I would withdraw the winnings and then play with the initial stake. Great in theory, but then when the initial stake was lost I would then cancel the withdrawal and play with that until ultimately it lost. I've lost about £40,000 and I'm not sure that even if I had a bet that won £40,000 I would then have stopped as I think I would then have wanted more. I'm thinking about counselling, I'm contemplating whether that for myself and partner might be the best option. Did think about GA not sure it's for me. Have you tried GA?

You're experience is exactly the same as mine...even the amount of money! Is it greed? Am I just selfish? People treat the addiction differently to alcohol and drugs I find. I'm not sure what what to do. I've tried GA but as am outsider, the group felt a bit 'clicky' because most of them had been going for years. I felt a bit uncomfortable and only did a few sessions. Plus it was held in a damp church hall, there was only 4 other people and I don't think I was ready at the time because I had no intention to stop. It's hard but if someone gave me £1,000 tomorrow and told me I could spend it on whatever I like, I'd probably gamble with it which is the reason I've joined these groups. It's good to talk though. Feel better for it.

Yes after years of not talking about it these last few days of opening up are really helping, especially when people have had similar experiences. I always believed I would win the money back so I guess I was in denial until Monday when I realised I'd used some of my mortgage payment and it had to stop. Guess you could say it's greed, I wanted money and I thought betting was a way of getting it. Instead I've suddenly realised it's a great way of losing it. I don't ever want to gamble again but that doesn't mean the urge won't be there, I'm ok tonight as I know there's not much footie on. I just want to go back to enjoy football without thinking I could put a bet on it. And yes I agree, I think gambling addiction is viewed differently. I actually work in substance misuse so know quite a lot about addiction, just never thought I'd fall into it. Think I'll stay away from GA then, sounds like how I imagined it and no point doing something unless I really get something from it.

Having your partner talk to your Mom for you will delay your recovery and enable you to gamble again. You say you don't want to talk to your Mom because she will not have the reaction you need right now, but in fact, it is the reaction you need to feel and hear in order to recover. You should stop your partner from talking to your Mom and do it yourself if it is not to late. Otherwise, it is like having your partner go to a gambling meeting for you.