Hi everybody. My name is Scott, 32 from Edinburgh. Hoping to gain support here. You's will be the first to know my hidden gambling addiction: Here is my story...I hope people can emphasis with this and if anything help somebody out there else feel better:
So I got into betting when I was 22. This was bang on when getting credit cards was like buying sweets. Signed up to online sites, out of greed to earn more money. My first bet won, the feeling was amazing...like getting free money. Then started losing money. I remember I started betting up to £1000 on tennis and football matches, losing then chasing my losses. Ended up with £8000 on a credit card, all through gambling. Took a loan out to pay it off and moved on...however it only got worse.
As I got through my late twenties I kept gambling, often chasing losses and having paid off the first loan, had to take another. Ended up with loads of credit cards too. Eventually started lowering my stakes. However this just slowed my descent into debt hell. I've finally reached that stage where I can no longer afford to gamble. I have hit my repayment limit. This has left me with a small portion of the disposal income I should have. This frustrates the hell out of me. I work so hard and should enjoy the money...not see it being sunk into loan and credit card repayments. What a waste, looking up the mountain of financial recovery looks so daunting. The worst of it is the effect it's had on my relationship with my wife, friends and family. The amount of bad moods I've had because of losing bets. The amount of times I've been distracted whilst checking scores on my phone. The amount of times I've sat with loved ones and yet secretly been checking my phone, thinking of nothing else. I've so often not immersed myself in situations because I'm thinking about my bets. I feel so shallow and guilty. Family and friends are the most important things in life and I've let gambling effect my experiences with them. The only time i haven't thought about gambling, or had a bet on was my wedding day/honeymoon. And that was the best time of my life. I want that feeling every day...no demon in the back of my head worrying about my betting slip. My daily happiness cannot be dictated by a bet. Unfortunately it took me to hit rock bottom to realise this. No one knows. I've excluded myself from all the gambling sites. I've made a financial plan to recover my situation, this will take a long time. I hope coming here and sharing this will provide the encouragement i need.
hi scott
welcome to the forum your not alone my friend , its crushing you emotionally and finanacially i had a f*** in awful month on all levels but my losses are under a grand this month but all my money rather than debt and i suppose money and gambling is always relative to what u earn / means , chasing kills us , tell us more bout ur story
r u ready to admit ur beaten ?
Thanks. I guess knowing your not alone is important when you finally know your beaten. I've reached my point, time to be brave and fight this once and for all
I'm a similar tale Scott so I know everything you are going through. First step is to put in place blocks to reduce the impact of any gambling herein. I would recommend excluding from all sites... even email ones where you don't have an account. I would put in place a withdrawal limit on all your cards. I would install K9 on your phone. These are just preventative measures and are not cures. The 'cure' is a much longer term mission.
we all do mate once you cross that line you know you have , and its just denial , i posted on here about more regulation and adverts but goverment don,t care they take half off all profits thats a lot of money to turn a blind eye , it has to come from within,, and im struggling i need to gamble but i done 2 days now and thats a big start for me scott lad
Well done Spraggy, good start. And thank you guys for your support. I've read some posts here and picked up a lot already. The term 'gambling zombie' is exactly what I've been. Vacantly going along without emotion other than what was happening with my bets. This ain't happening anymore, it's going to be painful but I need to start living properly
it was my life i lived and breathed it-i also lost sleep got massively in debt and will never get out of it-its day eleven now and been better than i could have imagined-feel ive escaped -i really hopes this lasts i love it-lets get free together-well done to you all
ScottMac wrote:
Hi everybody. My name is Scott, 32 from Edinburgh. Hoping to gain support here. You's will be the first to know my hidden gambling addiction: Here is my story...I hope people can emphasis with this and if anything help somebody out there else feel better:
So I got into betting when I was 22. This was bang on when getting credit cards was like buying sweets. Signed up to online sites, out of greed to earn more money. My first bet won, the feeling was amazing...like getting free money. Then started losing money. I remember I started betting up to £1000 on tennis and football matches, losing then chasing my losses. Ended up with £8000 on a credit card, all through gambling. Took a loan out to pay it off and moved on...however it only got worse.
As I got through my late twenties I kept gambling, often chasing losses and having paid off the first loan, had to take another. Ended up with loads of credit cards too. Eventually started lowering my stakes. However this just slowed my descent into debt hell. I've finally reached that stage where I can no longer afford to gamble. I have hit my repayment limit. This has left me with a small portion of the disposal income I should have. This frustrates the hell out of me. I work so hard and should enjoy the money...not see it being sunk into loan and credit card repayments. What a waste, looking up the mountain of financial recovery looks so daunting. The worst of it is the effect it's had on my relationship with my wife, friends and family. The amount of bad moods I've had because of losing bets. The amount of times I've been distracted whilst checking scores on my phone. The amount of times I've sat with loved ones and yet secretly been checking my phone, thinking of nothing else. I've so often not immersed myself in situations because I'm thinking about my bets. I feel so shallow and guilty. Family and friends are the most important things in life and I've let gambling effect my experiences with them. The only time i haven't thought about gambling, or had a bet on was my wedding day/honeymoon. And that was the best time of my life. I want that feeling every day...no demon in the back of my head worrying about my betting slip. My daily happiness cannot be dictated by a bet. Unfortunately it took me to hit rock bottom to realise this. No one knows. I've excluded myself from all the gambling sites. I've made a financial plan to recover my situation, this will take a long time. I hope coming here and sharing this will provide the encouragement i need.
Hi Scott
Another Jock on here mate...I'm actually not far from you (distance wise) but will keep stoom for just now.
Your story is very touching and has so many similarities to my own experiences. I guess football betting was your vice as mine was too. I actually started gambling when I was about 5 years old going to the arcades and dropping coins into those machines and hoping to win that big pile of money that seems to be superglued!!! I remember having the feeling of wanting to win it very badly...the same feelling I was getting up until a few days ago. I have not gambled for 2 days now.
I resonate with your story about being 'sneeky' and doing things behind your loved ones back, being sidetracked and/or distracted etc. It really is a nightmare. When I was about 23 years old, Im roughly double that now, I was 28, 000 in debt. I managed to stop for 3 years and paid about 75% back. I was lucky, and continue to be lucky I have a decent job and could pay quite a bit back. But I have been there where you are. I am still here today as I have amassed some high debts again. It really does prove that we can never beat them....and I mean never. That pot of gold is always at the end of the rainbow but will never come. Even when you do get a good win, you will just gamble it away!
If your wife is supporting you then you are very lucky. I have had lots of people who are close who didnt understand the addiction, however I cant blame some of them as I would constantly let people down. One time I went to pay my holiday balance - nearly £2500 - would you believe I had to walk home as I didnt have enough money for a bus, let alone a taxi. That day it was the horses (something I gave up a long time ago).
I have been gambling for many years now and have tried many things - cut down, limit amounts on betting sites, avoid going into shops etc but nothing works for me except to abstain. One time I stopped for 3 years so there is hope!
keep the chin up mate and keep going - I only joined here last night and have received lots of support just in one day
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