This time I could lose everything and I'm scared

Hello and welcome.

We all know how difficult this is. You've made a good start by admitting your addiction.

Welcome to Day 1 of your gamble free life. Tomorrow will be day 2, small but important victories. You may not want to hear this but one of the important steps in recovering from this evil curse, is being honest. Unless you are honest with yourself and those close to you, you cannot move forward. Sometimes our actions have consequences and we have to face upto them and deal with them. For me it was prison. Luckily I had a family who stood by me, you may be surprised.

You must tell those around you, EVERYTHING, no more secrets.......and then what will be will be. Otherwise you will just carry on being that 24 year gambler. The hardest thing by far is the admission to those close to you, but its got to be done. Be strong and face upto it. After all, we have created a situation, addiction or not and need to accept what the future brings. For some people its divorce, others prison, others worse.

Also, get to your local GA meeting, I go every week and find great strength from it. There is also a meeting for partners and familty members so they can get help and understand what is happening.

Good Luck and be strong

Hi Pooky

I am a recovering CG.

Might I suggest that a counsellor should be 1st cab off the rank for you? It's always good to get everything off your chest once in a while.

Cold turkey by yourself without support is not a good place to start in dealing with the addiction. Telling your partner will be hard, I don't know how he will react...angry and disappointed most likely. I can't tell you whether he will carry out his threat of divorce, but if you don't tell him, the secrets and the lies will eat away at you. I hope that he does offer support after his initial reaction.

GA is always a good place to start with when dealing with this addiction. They are all gamblers, like yourself. They have done all you have done, and probably worse, so they will be able to offer you plenty of support and advice along the way.

One of the hardest things a gambler has to understand is that the money that has been gambled will never be returned. Come to terms with it, accept it, and move on with your life.

Best wishes

Thank you, I have told him, he was upset but stands by me, I've not told him about the debt yet though, I've also told my best friend she's helping me too so I'm no longer alone x

Hi Pooky,

You could try and get away with it and not tell him about the debt. Thing is you'll always be worried about letters and phone calls at all hours of the day and night chasing payment. Other people have pointed out there is no telling if your husband would carry out his divorce threat but can you live on a knife edge with regards him finding out your creditor (s) ?

He could find out tomorrow or five years down the line. He may well already suspect something anyway. I dunno.

If you cannot service the debt and have to put payment arrangements in place with your creditor (s) it will impact on your credit file. If you have already missed any contractual payments it will impact as well. If your husband applied for say a car loan in the future his application could well be refused because of the level of your debts. They may be in your name but the fact he lives at the same address may affect the lenders decision. If he found out by looking at your credit file the balloon could well go up because you had not already told him.

I'm not trying to scaremonger, only to advise you about possible pitfalls if you don't confess.

Obviously the ball is in your court whether you will tell him or not. Think carefully.

In the mean time as well as self exclusion you may want to consider putting the blocks on all online gambling sites by downloaing K9 for your devices. Perhaps your friend will set the password so you cannot override it.

Whatever you decide to do I wish you well.

Take Care Now