To new ex gamblers

Hi areturntoabettertomorrow

Thank you for posting your inspirational recovery story. We're really glad that your recovery is going well.

Just wanted to add something about point 4. Have you had success with getting your bank to block gambling transactions? Our current understanding is that the majority of banks are not in a position to do this.

Best wishes

Forum Admin

I was also going to ask about the Banks blocking transactions, as this would solve so many issues

Areturntoabettertomorrow wrote:

1. Block using K9 for free on EVERY device

2.Cut up cards and freeze them without their CCV

3. Get rid of PayPal, net teller, your wallet!

4. Phone banks and credit card companies and get tell them! They will block gambling transactions from then on as responsible lenders. If they don't, threaten to report them, and they will.

5. Really this should be number one, tell a loved one, tell them your intentions but hold up your side of the bargain and HONOUR that commitment

6. Get good a knitting, baking, writing stories, keep a blog, visit forums, take up a musical instrument, get good a couponing but also realise that there are better pursuits than gambling. Spend your time sitting down for tea with your kid and partner. Turn off the phone and iPad that already has K9 installed and savour this wonderful thing we call life!

7. Stop kidding yourself! Gambling wants to kill you. The leaders of the gambling industry say they want you to have controlled fun but they want your money!

8. Self exclude from ALL websites and bookies! Use pictures and have no shame as you are getting better! Should have been higher!

Forgive yourself, we all make

mistakes, just learn from them! Do it, do it now!.

Great post this is the best advice i have seen on here if your problen is with online gambling........ it should be pinned to been seen when people first join the site......

Heya,

The banking question is an interesting one. I had to explain to my c.card bank and personal banking people that while I'm good at paying back, balances etc, that at the time I may go silly and gamble online. Now a lot of banks explicitly say that the credit they offer is not used for that yet they allow such transactions to occur! I explained to them that part of the agreement cannot be "not to use the credit facility to gamble" yet allow the account be used for that. They soon agreed with me as a responsible lender and agreed to block anything that falls under their "broad" search term of gambling.

The interesting thing is since that day I have never tried to gamble online again but I have been blocked buying petrol, a Starbucks, some contactless payments etc. Maybe it's happened six times but it tells me they are doing what they should.

It's an extreme measure and most banks don't care how you spend your money, as long as you can pay it back, with fees and interest. Good proof is that I recently obtained a mortgage despite my account being used to gamble effectively thousands and receive a couple of grand from gambling sites. That wasn't on my statements, but delve back nearly two years and they would have found them. It's not a bad thing that you can kinda get back on track and repent for your sins.

It wasn't a straight forward option, maybe not even a thing banks do often but once I had a discussion they kept my credit facility and they stop gambling transactions. I obviously don't really want to try it as 550 plus days on, I still and always will think I'm one bet away from it all happening again!

Hope that helps!

Hi

A superb post areturntoabettertomorrow. You clearly know what its all about and I hope people read your post and take action if they have not already done so.

These are the steps that must be taken and there comes a moment when you realise that there is no shame in phoning the banks/financial companies and making sure thay act as responsible lenders. There is no shame in doing the right thing to save your life. That is a very interesting point that credit companies should in no way be allowing the account to be used for transactions clearly related to gambling.

Gambling does want to kill you. I ended up curled up in the foetal position for days christmas 2015...electricity was off...no food in the cupboards....I had rowed with my father due to my gambling related stress and I wanted to die...sobbing and hoping I would drift off to sleep to numb the pain of existance. I had put thousands of pounds into a slot that year and it was finally dawning on me how addicted I was and what I had been doing.

After 40 years then 10 months dithering about it on the forum I got up one day and went to a photo booth. I spent a day which was like a born again experience when I self excluded from everywhere I had been gambling. It was one of the best days of my life

I picked up the phone and no matter who answered I got the words out to my parents. Yes if my dad answered that would have been doubly difficult but I did it. I focused...what was the alternative...gambling into homelessness ostracisation and an early grave!!

A huge weight lifted...it wasnt about saving Christmas...it was about saving my life.

This started more talking, financial monitoring and making sure I wasnt taking their money to fuel a gambling addiction. Then the healing started together with a learning process that I must never be complacent about a gambling addiction.

I had to slowly learn how to enjoy life again and forgive myself...yes repent my sins if you like and make amends...put a bit back into life.

I started to see things more clearly and had better days enjoying the simpler pleasures. I had lost sight of seeking enjoyable experiences and even skydiving is crossing my mind now 🙂

This built up into booking a holiday that I know I will enjoy. Things do get better and being gamble free is a great feeling.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

I can't install K9 on my android HTC mobile phone - can't find it in my list of apps to install, please advise.

Thanks

Hello Chance,

K9 is not compatible with Android any more. You can find apps which are compatible with Android on the following page of our website:

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software

Best wishes

Forum Admin.

Many thanks Admin

Hi Chance,

I did a little research and Betfilter and Gamblock seem your best option for android. They cost a little money but in the long run they can save you thousands. I had no idea K9 no longer supported Android.

Remember the crucial bit is make up a nonsense password and put that in as admin password. When filters are in place delete the password file so you cannot remember it.

If you have a trusted one, get them to set the password and not give it you. This is the best bet as I believe these programmes run a subscription and you may want to be in control of that.

Finally, double up with key words and block sites on your router. You could even contact your phone company and see if they can restrict from their end!

Thanks

To Joydivider,

Amazing story and thanks for sharing in such bold detail! I think we both stopped around the same time and it's so inspirational to hear and see the progress you've made. "Gambling wants to kill you" will always stay with me! Because it's true! Keep fighting the good fight my friend!

All the best!

Hey,

I had a few messages about point 4. All I can say is......some providers do do this as when you take out credit now you tick a box in the terms and conditions to say you will not use the funds to gamble.

All I can say is you don’t know until you phone up and ask. If you don’t try you don’t get. I was very successful with one bank but it meant when I bought a coffee once it was declined and I had to phone them. Maybe I just went extreme with fraud control but was necessary at the time.

One bank after my relapse said “it happens......so you want more credit?” I paid the balance and closed it.

I did speak to an online bookies who blocked my second account after I excluded and used a different email. They contacted me, told me why they blocked it and gave me my “winnings” a few days later. I was impressed.....of course I stupidly just opened a new account on a different site and lost a lot of cash......but hey......times before extreme blocks.

In all.....these steps kept me gamble free.

Bumping as I had to call said bank today for of all things.....a coffee!

Take care!