Been trying to do this for a while and decided to have a look on here too.
Basically at the start of June i decided enough was enough and it was time to sort my finances out . it was going really well until i had a relapse and lost a few hundred pound this week on sports betting. Along with looking on here, today i have also signed up to gamstop.
I've been betting since i was 18 - am 30 now, and initially was just small pocket change on horses and football until i discovered online. Online gambling really is the devil, as that is when my stakes skyrocketed and consequently the problems started. Usually trying to chase losses. If i lose in the bookies i usually have no access to further money but even setting loss limits online would just lead to opening new accounts. Over the years i also started progressively earning more money and find myself skint despite earning 30k a year and renting a modest house and driving a modest car. These problems now started when with my ex, who was more pressuring me over it than supporting me, which i think in turn caused me to place stupid bets or high stakes losing bets to escape. Obviously the end of all that, moving etc was very stressful so i carried on as i was for another 2 years (june this year). I met someone much more supportive and made my best effort to stop gambling straight away but it did take me around 6 months to kick it, until my recent relapse, and hopefully today's measures will help even more. My new partner does know about my debt, I've been totally open and honest, but was too ashamed to admit actually what it was so just exaggerated it was the carefree way how i lived upon becoming single
Had some very nice wins last year, and was around 2k "up" but you guessed it the lot went and over the past year been paying off 5k debt which was what absorbed my living costs while gambling. I have made a lot of progress with this debt since June - now down to 3.5k or so, but it has been a two steps forward one step back approach as i have been paying this debt for a year but still having gambled as well. Now, i feel ready to get over this relapse, have planned my expenditure over the next few months and hope to be debt free in the new year. Next year i actually want holidays and things. This past year has been utterly heartbreaking thinking of the money I've earned and not seen a penny of.
If this just stops one person starting betting online and having to financially sacrifice a few years to get back on track then it hasn't been a waste of time.
Hello Abm58,
Welcome to the GamCare forum. You've taken an important first step by getting in touch and telling your story.
It sounds as though having a supportive partner has been an important factor for you in your recovery. I am not sure from what you said whether your partner actually knows about your gambling or not. You said you'd been totally open and honest, but you also said you felt too ashamed to admit what it was. It's great that you sound so determined to learn from this relapse and move past it. what would you say you're going to do differently from now on?
I'm sure you will be able to get a lot of support from other forum members who have been where you are. You might also want to join one of our chatrooms - the next one is open today, Monday 6th August from 2pm-3pm.
You'd be very welcome to call our helpline for 1:1 support. We're on 0808 8020 133 and we're available 8am til midnight every day. If you prefer communicating online, you can chat to us on the NetLine.
Take care and keep posting,
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Haven't bet since the day and feel excellent for it, must be 40 days or so. Certainly the longest i can remember going since the spiral began. No "oh its only a bit of change for a bit of interest" or anything. In the past I'd have lost a lot of money on the us open, football, racing all around this time of year. I can actually see results impartially and walk away, whereas in the past I'd only selectively see the winners id have picked and think "bet tomorrow". Now i think about losing players, teams, horses, and think well actually id have backed that and I'd have lost - paying attention especially to the upsets.
Not set foot in a bookies, wrote a a slip, asked anyone to set up an online account or anything.
Im still not myself due to still being in the stupid debt. But i have transfered the debt to an interest free credit card, meaning what i pay off is actually paid off and im not crippled with interest every month. Until im debt free it will be my main source of thought. But can feel myself getting closer, even if it may take another 6-8 months.
The thought of how many bad months I've had and how I've needlessly undone hard work on my debts is definitely keeping me on the right path, as well as the numb feeling and agitation losing bets causes. It really does feel so much better not having the stress. Ie thinking about future betting opportunities, the placing of a bet then hours spent distracted due to the uncertainty of the upcoming result, then when losing being unable to get the irritating thought off my mind for hours and hours.
Also i do not miss wasting so much time. It disgusts me thinking about how much time i wasted thinking i could beat the bookies by studying horse form, to time wasted placing ridiculous bets on tennis (sometimes completely obscure matches) and the daft hours I'd be up til 'watching' every point on live scores apps and betting sites.
I truly believe next year will be the start of a new life for me in proper form once my gambling debts are cleared and the clouds of gambling have truly cleared
Abm58 wrote: Haven't bet since the day and feel excellent for it, must be 40 days or so. Certainly the longest i can remember going since the spiral began. No "oh its only a bit of change for a bit of interest" or anything. In the past I'd have lost a lot of money on the us open, football, racing all around this time of year. I can actually see results impartially and walk away, whereas in the past I'd only selectively see the winners id have picked and think "bet tomorrow". Now i think about losing players, teams, horses, and think well actually id have backed that and I'd have lost - paying attention especially to the upsets. Not set foot in a bookies, wrote a a slip, asked anyone to set up an online account or anything. Im still not myself due to still being in the stupid debt. But i have transfered the debt to an interest free credit card, meaning what i pay off is actually paid off and im not crippled with interest every month. Until im debt free it will be my main source of thought. But can feel myself getting closer, even if it may take another 6-8 months. The thought of how many bad months I've had and how I've needlessly undone hard work on my debts is definitely keeping me on the right path, as well as the numb feeling and agitation losing bets causes. It really does feel so much better not having the stress. Ie thinking about future betting opportunities, the placing of a bet then hours spent distracted due to the uncertainty of the upcoming result, then when losing being unable to get the irritating thought off my mind for hours and hours. Also i do not miss wasting so much time. It disgusts me thinking about how much time i wasted thinking i could beat the bookies by studying horse form, to time wasted placing ridiculous bets on tennis (sometimes completely obscure matches) and the daft hours I'd be up til 'watching' every point on live scores apps and betting sites. I truly believe next year will be the start of a new life for me in proper form once my gambling debts are cleared and the clouds of gambling have truly cleared
40 days excellent start mate...the debt is crippling you and everyday it’s a reminder of how gambling has crippled your life. But if you think the debt is bad now imaging if you relapse and gamble again...exactly don’t get complacement you are slowly sorting your problems out so keep smiling mate and everyday gamble free is a blessing for us.
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