I've been here before many years ago............and I'm back again.
I just don't understand it.
I haven't got a problem with betting shops. Years ago I did, but now I can walk past all 3 in the high street where I live or wherever I go and not want to walk on to one. I used to spend days on end in them. From the first horse race to the last, sometimes only breaking to nip across the road for something unhealthy to eat.
I wasted holiday days off work in those places dreaming that I would one day have loads and loads of money.
If I hadn't wasted all the money and time in there I would have at least had money or items I could look at.
I'm a qualified accountant (not saying that makes me intelligent, just painting a picture) of 10 years but I can't control my urges to waste money. It should be so simple. Odds of 1/4. Put £100 on it and that's an easy £25. Do that four times a day and that's £100 profit.
And that happens/happened quite a lot hence the short odds. The problem I have is when you start putting your winnings and original deposit on the bet. So a £100 bet becomes £125/£150 etc etc. Then bang that short price favourite (9 times out of 10 on football bets) loses.
I didn't gamble much last year but this year something started it off again. I must have been in profit and actually withdrawn some money out in January. February about break even. March, I tried again and ended up losing about £600. I had to put items on credit cards and now they are at their limit.
When I was paid at the end of March I made a profit. Withdrew the original deposit and carried on...........then bang. In one day I lost a lot. Angry at losing more in that night and again lost the lot. Some more losses and wins, last weekend came and all the winnings went.
This weekend another £500 in and on the overdraft already. Just 7 days in to the month. Lost all of that on Saturday.
Yesterday I put in £100 for one final 'go'. I was in profit around 6pm. By 9pm it's all gone and I'm left cursing.
The thing I don't get is why I undervalue money so easily. It's so easy to put £500 into an online account but I'd never dream of walking in to the betting shop and placing that money. The most I've bet on a betting shop is £20 at a time. It's just so easy to do. I had a blocker put on the laptop that stopped me from accessing gambling sites. But still I carried on, on other devices.
The above is just an example. Looking at my bak today I've deposited £1700 in to online accounts in the last 10 days. It has to stop, I can't carry on like this. I'm on a planned days holiday today and have closed my two online accounts I had permanently. But there's so many accounts and websites and so many that seem to open each month that there's always that temptation.
I just don't know why I wake up some days and think I'm going to make it today. Start on a good run, build some profit and then lose it all plus more than the original deposit.
If I could solve this mindset I would be a genius I think. I just can't figure out what makes me do it.
I'll be ok for a few weeks now as I genuinely have no money at all. Then I'll get paid again and no doubt wake up one day with a new betting idea.
So frustrating and probably boring to read but thought I'd get my words out.
Take care all.
Welcome . You are certainly not alone . I class myself as a professional at work making all kinds of strategic and negotiating decisions . Problem is it stops at work and I couldn’t apply the same business case to my own situation . That’s because I have an addiction and any rational thoughts go out of the window . Firstly you have admitted that it’s out of control . It is a progressive illness so will only deteriorate further if you don’t take action . That’s the scary part over and done with . Practical wise when you self exclude yourself you are immediately saying at that time you have had enough . Perversely the next day you may be able to handle more disappointment and open another account . Then the waters get muddy . There is a web out there of online gamblers who will then look for loopholes even if you do win . They wiggle out using reasons of self exclusion in the past or self exclusion from sister companies . A lot of them are connected without you knowing . However they only tell you this when you win. It’s so corrupt that the odds are stacked even more against you than you realise . Ever wondered why they keep the money in pending and you can access it when you win , but deposit and it’s immediately out of your bank ? For problem gamblers like us who will simply give it back . Anyway , for you it’s a matter of making a decision that enough is enough. You have demonstrated that you fall into the same category as most of us here and you will always have a problem with it . So my advice today is to self exclude yourself from as many sites as you can , you have done that first steps . Confide in someone close to you . Hand control of your money over to someone . Even get your wages paid into their account if you have to . Go to gamblers anonymous or counselling . Read diaries on this site . Don’t be another statistic who works to feed these corporate giants . They don’t care if you have no money or quality of life . We do . It’s not going to be easy to break this self deprecating cycle but it is possible . You must be in the situation that you want to stop otherwise it’s not going to work for you . There is normally someone here who is willing to invest time in you like I am now . We don’t know each other yet but I feel your story and it resonates with me and so many others . Good luck and do have a read and perhaps start your own diary ? That worked for me especially at the very start
Thanks for the reply Bryan, it’s much appreciated.
You’re exactly right with what you say. The rational thinking bit in particular resonates. The Missus took our kids out this morning (pre-planned) to a play date. Whilst they were out I closed the final betting accounts down and looked in to the money situation.
I’m already on a DMP and will be for a few years yet but at upon reviewing the bank account(s) we have enough for the shopping and petrol, running costs until I get paid again. I transferred that in to my partners account.
This afternoon I played with my oldest daughter in the garden, first time this year it’s been warm enough. Apart from building the obligatory snowman a few weeks back. Felt good to be out and leaving my phone inside without checking (or waiting for the notification that a goal had been scored) the football scores from the Czech Republic 5th Division or the Serbian Youth League.
Tonight I read a lot of posts on this site and some of the diaries. I’ll post on some later in the week when my mood improves. I’ll take your advice and set up a diary on here.
Back to work tomorrow after having Friday and Monday off.
Thanks again for the response and chat soon.
I had a DMP for 7 years just finished it but racked up a bit more debt plus normal debt like a new car for the wife . I am just re mortgaging to save around £800 a month clear which can be put to the family and enjoying a normal life . I’m lucky to have given myself a second chance and I am 106 days gambling free . Things get a lot better very quickly . It’s amazing how much money we kid ourselves we are not gambling . We become the worst accountants ever ! My advice to you in your situation is give this a few weeks completely disciplined and honest with everyone around you and more importantly yourself . After that you are welcome to go back to your misery . It’s that simple . Stop and you will reap the rewards . Carry on and I can assure you things will get worse . We can’t win because we can’t stop . Don’t throw it away . You did mention spending time with your daughter . I am now full on doing things with my children that I never thought I could afford and to most families it’s normal . Taking them bowling , climbing centres , ice skating becoming the dad I should always have been . I was basically with them but vacant . I will read your posts with interests , this is a strange group where everyone wants everyone to succeed
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