Unravelling

Hi Cannae

Your story is so much like mine and many others on this site. Well done for admitting to yourself that you have a problem and finding your way here. I too self excluded, only to join new sites. Have you tried a block so you cannot access at all. That has certainly helped me together with the support and encouragement I have found on this site. You have realised that you can't gamble because you cannot stop, even when you win. I have been gamble free for 62 days today and feel so much better. I have lost thousands and I am paying back so much but I have put that behind me and looking forward to a better future. Writing a diary on here and joining the 2014 Challenge (Overcoming problem gambling section) has helped me so much. Also reading and responding to the posts.

This is a new start for you and I wish you well in your recovery.

"Dear Past, thank you for the lessons. Dear Future, I am ready".

Elfie x

I have found that by telling other people about my addiction that it has helped me a great deal because if i feel like i might slip then i have someone that i can speak my problems through with. It doesn't necessarily have to be a partner or close family member but even it is a friend who you can trust it is great because when you waver then they are only a text or phone call away.. IM struggling because the person who i trusted has problems of his own and i don't feel like i can bother him anymore as he has enough to worry bout!

Thanks for response Elfie, I am feeling a little better this evening. Even though my addiction is a big secret and none of my family or friends know, it feels like the burden has been lifted a little by putting my story in words and sharing it. It has been so helpful reading other peoples stories too. I wish I had come for help years ago.

One day at a time, has taken me 7 years to fully admit to myself I have a problem so it won't be fixed overnight. But I am addressing it and trying to change before I lose more than money x

Thanks for reading and thanks for the support, keep up the good work x

Hi Cannae

Glad you are feeling a bit better. There will be good days and bad days during recovery but there are only bad days when you are gambling. The despair, loneliness, shame, guilt......a whole range of emotions that we shouldn't be feeling. That knot in your stomach when you realise what you have done. I've lost count of the times I wished I had a time machine so I could go back a few hours to before I starting losing all the rent, services and food money. This is not how life should be.

Money is short now but at least I am not making things worst by gambling what little I do have. I can actually sleep at night.

Life will begin to be good again for you.

I wish you well in your recovery.

Elfie

Hi need help

Thanks for your response and advice. This site has been a huge source of support but it's early days. Best wishes in your recovery 🙂

I to am new to this site but already I can see 99 out of 100 people on here are the same as me.

I do the same I lie to my wife all the time and like you even when I win I put it all back on and more.

The guilt is unreal and the self loathing.

I go through stages but what I find works best for me is when I don't drink alcohol and exercise.

I find that when I am doing this I feel positive and therefore I don't want to gamble.

But I always relapse and the problem with people like us is your lies always catch up with you in the end. Always.

I feel so much better just talking to people on here but I intend to seek professional help and beat this disease for good.

I hope you can as well and if you want to talk

Thanks Colin

You are right , lies do always catch up with us, even if it's not the way we think. The self loathing is almost unbearable at times. The more I am interacting on here the more real my situation is becoming. Maybe in time I will be able to tell my husband the horrible truth. I can't face that at the moment though.

I CANNOT relapse, my last binge almost killed me and I can't do that again . The only control I have is in not taking another bet because once I spin that machine one more time I have lost all control, I can't set myself on that roller coaster again. 🙂

You can do it think of all the new joy coming I to your life soon.

I have suddenly lost ten years of my life because my fri night and satday afternoon is consumed by drinking and gambling.

Every Monday I feel like you and today I have deceided I do not want to feel this way any longer.

Keep going and realise your not a bad person because of this. Some people get addicted to other things but gambling is one of the worst as it is always so secretive.

Keep logging In daily and save the money you would have gambled. Spend it on your new baby and see how much happier you will feel