Hi,
This is my intro post.
Well, what can i say. I have a huge gambling issue that has spectaculary spiralled out of control to the tune of £102k. However my current unsecure loans are currently 46k. My husband and family and friends lent me 59k to get me out of the mess last year. My husband did not realise the extent of the issues but was happy for me to carry on match betting to try and bring some money in. This was september last year. I have since racked up this further 46k. Pretty much all in the last couple of months. I kept taking on loans to consolidate debts but then dipping back in to carry on spinning on the slots. two loans were set up dec/jan time so have only had 2/3 payments. The last one for 10k was set up a few weeks ago. Not even made one payment yet. Again it was to consolidate, pay off my overdraft and cards. Dipped straight back in and it went within a day or so. Again thought i could carry on matched betting to get the monthly payments covered. Total realisation finally hit this weekend as to the extent of how low i have sunk. I have totally let my husband,daughter and family down.
I told my husband on sunday, he is devastated. I contacted gamcare and have my 1st assessment counselling session tomorrow. I have sat with my husband and self excluded from sites. I have installed a trial version of gamstop on my mobile and plan to have my salary paid to my husbands account immediately. I also want to set him up with a credit check account on me so he can log into that at any time to check i have done no further damage. Although no risk of that as i am about to miss payments on the 46k for the 1st time.
I have no idea whats going to happen regarding the finances, next thing to try and start to sort. Scared i will be prosecuted for fraud or similar. I have hundreds if not thousand pounds worth of transactions going through accounts each week because of the amounts involved, the timescales and match betting. I did set the loans up on good faith for consolidation but spinning on the ol slots was far too much temptation. I was even using accounts in my husbands name for match betting. He was aware of this as thought it would bring some more money in. He even gave 4-5k to get this under way. I have given it back to him but am worried creditors will think its mine and try to take it.
Husband has a vw camper but the log book is in my name as the insurance had me as main driver. He paid for the van, has reciepts for camper conversion and the recent respary he had done so hoping this will prove the van is his otherwise he will be devasted further.
What the hell do i do!
That saying i am happy i have come clean to him about absolutely everything. Just worried for the future.
I last completed some paid for spins and a matched betting on Saturday. Completed 5 free spins in Sunday and not gambled since. Am going to take each day at a time.
Well thats me in a nutshell
Hi whatsmyname
First of all well done for this step- admitting what you have done is a huge step and the first victory. Second well done for the second step and that is telling those who are affected along with yourself- you will be surprised at how many people (including myself) have tried to keep it away from loved ones through fear or embarrassment.
I am 535 days gambling free and when i look back at what jumpstarted my recovery i always put it down to laying the debts out and facing them head on-(which you have done) and telling my wife (again which you have done)
I was 80k in debt at my worst and know exactly how desperate you are feeling. First advice get some help- speak to qualified personel here and forum goers- you will be very surprised how much solace and inspiration you can recieve every single day. Second put the relevant blocks in place- not just self exclusion but blocking software, there are new casinos popping up everywhere so you dont want to be suckered back in.
Third and most important at your stage get some financial help or advice- contact Stepchange- trust me there is nothing you can say that they havent heard- they are "unshockable" they will lay everything out and tell you a good course of action going forward- above all when you come off the phone to them you feel an almighty weight has been lifted. Cant recommend this enough- just to have someone in your corner is invaluable.
It does worry me slightly that you and your husband thought the best way to make money was through match betting- im sure this mentality has changed now- if not CHANGE IT, nobody beats the bookies.
Lastly before i drone on too much. Lift your head up off your chest- it will hurt for some time yet however it does get easier and soon there will be light at the end of the tunnel, your not a bad person you have just fallen into a addiction trap.
Good luck! you can do it
Many thanks for your response.
The match betting idea is now totally out of the window. I have blocking software on my phone as well.
I will be contacting stepchange for debt advice tomorrow. I have the joy of looking at the family budget tonight!
Ok well done- sounds like you are on a mission!
Just to let you know i am on around 40k a year salary and live on 100 quid a week for 4 people, tight isnt the word. Sure you wont be as bad as that ha
Good luck
Matched betting is a gateway the industry use to lure in the unwary. They don't do, offer or allow anything that isn't in their own interests. That goes for free spins too so please don't fall for any further offers which will undoubtedly come.
I agree with the advice to contact a debt advice charity. Mr L used Payplan who were excellent.
Does your husband have support for himself? He has a lot to process and alongside that he's the one who's going to need to step up to the plate in assumig full financial control. Having been there it can seem overwhelming. Reading this forum might be a good place for him to start reading up on what he's up against.
Many thanks for your comments.
I have asked my husband to contact gamcare and the counselling guy said they could offer him support as well.
I want him to speak to them but at the moment he doesn't want to.
I will suggest he looks at this forum. Many thanks for that advice.
My goodness me the guilt and realisation as to what i have done has kicked in much more today. Its like the fog has been completely lifted.
No urges to gamble so far. Had my assessment phone call yesterday and will need to wait a few weeks for my 1st session.
We are madly trying to sort out finances. Have decided to put the house on the market to clear as much as possible, rent and start again.
I really really hate myself at the moment.
Hating yourself is one of the emotions that i went through
At least you are taking positive steps to beat this now. You will soon start to see the light at the end of the tunnel
Hi mate
Hows it going?? Still going strong?
Hi thanks for your post Colt11.
Still going strong, day 32 today, with no urges. Feeling a tad better, life at home has been better. Doing more stuff as a family etc
I have not done anything to sort out the finances, well other than making minimum payments. Will be tackling that over the next couple of weeks.
Husband and i have been researching and discussing plans of action but still unsure of the way ahead. Payplan are contacting me on the 15th June so we have to decide by then.
Our house is on the market though as life will be easier for him and my daughter if we do it that way. I would have liked for it to have sold quick as there would have been more chance of my credit score remaining intact. Dont think that is going to happen though.
I dont want my credit score to be good for me but for my family, to get us back on the ladder sooner rather than later.
Is there any way at all of keeping the house? Just asking because Mr L tried to talk me into downsizing to clear his horrendous debt and I know if we'd gone down that route I would have hugely resented it. The other thing to bear in mind is it's effectively another bailout and as you've already seen a clean slate doesn't quell the urge. Mr L was fully bailed out by me and my parents and still went back to double the debt. Yes, a DMP or IVA will trash your credit score but if you're sitting tight in an already mortgaged property you won't need to worry about rebuilding it for the medium term. My advice would be to chat through your options with Payplan. They may be able to come up with a way through without having to sell.
Many thanks lethe
I have the same concerns regarding resentment and have told him this. I think he will resent it and don't blame him for that but he thinks this is the best way forward.
I am going to look at writing to debtors and offering a payment plan. I will contact Payplan for their advise.
My husband won't speak to a counsellor of go to a group so he doesn't know what to do to really, to protect himself. He even offered to get an interest free credit card to move some of the higher rate debts to that. Which is I refused. I have had to tell him to lock me out of bank accounts, about self exclusion and credit score checking etc. I have even pointed him here. To no avail.
Hopefully I have given him enough info to make him realise what he needs to do to protect himself.
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