Why do i keep going back?

Hi bob81

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your recent post, its great that you have decided to resume your counselling with Gamcare for additional support with your recent relapse. You may also find it helpful to use your counselling to take a closer look at what happend at the end of last year that may have contributed to your relapse.

I understand that you are a little confused because everything appeared to be going so well for a year or so, and that your worried that you may never beat problem gambling. However there are many sucess stories on the Gamcare forum. I would encourage you to try attending the Gamblers Anonymous groups and see how you get on otherwise you may never know the true benefits that group support can offer. Read through their webpage and check out the (literature - new life downloads) section where you can read some of the recovering gamblers stories, http://gamblersanonymous.org.uk/index.php/literature/new-life-downloads . This may answer some of your questions.

You may also find it helps to use our recovery diary section to start your own online diary. It will help you to keep a clear record of events and pinpoint any changes that occur. http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forums/recovery-diaries

You can also call us on freephone 0808 8020 133 (8am to midnight, 7 days a week) and speak to an adviser for confidential advice, information and emotional support.

All the best with your recovery

Cade

Hi
Bob

I have found & so have many others GA an enormous help. Check out your local meeting, what do you have to lose by just going along?

Dan

Thanks, i might give GA meetings a go. I'm not usually good in groups and always seem to hold back what i really think. There is one tomorrow night which i think i'm going to attend and see if it will help. I'm desperate to get this sorted as its ruining my and my girlfriends lifes, she deserves better! I've also made an appointment with my GP to see if they can help in any way.

Hi Bob81, I would massively recommend you attending GA. It's a huge relief to share your problems with fellow compulsive gamblers who will neither be shocked nor judge you, just lend a helping hand. You've got nothing to lose by attending, good luck

Hi Bob,

I know people say willpower alone is not enough..... but you can do everything else it will not work if you don`t want to stop it or change.... Find the motivation in yourself, I would say even if you do it for another person it isn`t strong enough (although we are different so it may work for you) but do it for yourself..... Just look back and see how it made you feel - you know you don`t win as much as you lose, then you feel bad about the lost money, the secrecy, get depressed and feel low about yourself because you know that person is really not you, it is somebody else..... So let your real you come out and don`t give space for yor dark side to appear again! Hope you find the strenght very soon.

thanks for the comments guys.

i attended my first GA meeting and wow! i'm still shocked today of how good it was to speak to people face to face who totally got what you said and understood. my girlfrriend has been amazing with me but when i speak to her about it, she tries to get it, but i know she doesn't and can't because she's not been there. these people at GA have thats going to me a massive help. the best thing about the GA meetings is that i will have the oppotunity to give back to other people with the same issues.

Hi Bob,

It is great that you went..... I know what you mean with your girlfriend trying to help, and you can talk but her not getting it- I have the same feeling - I talk to my partner, and I go so into it, with my CG logic, I am sure it doesn`t make much sense to him or even scare him at times how one thought it was a good idea to buy full pack of scratchies etc..... so then I stop and apologize for overwhelming him.... He says it`s fine, but I know there is a line and it is all new to him..... so I too find that GA is a good place to talk, or even here for that matter.... Good luck on your journey,

thanks lostandfound.

yeh i'm trying to find that balance of being open with my girlfriend and not telling her stuff to mess with her head even more. i'm trying to be honest but being dis-honest for so long it hard to change the way you think and try to cover stuff up, even silly things. i know this is the very last chance i have with her and i lover her so much, she is the only person i have relaly loved and i just want to be the person she deserves. Yeh the GA meetinga great, knowing the people listening fully understand what you have done and understand the reasons why you make a daft decision to get money or place a bet etc etc. when i talk to my girlfriiend i know that shes thinking "are you mad?" "why would someone do that?" etc etc

but for this to work i've got to be 100% honest and leave no stone unturned, deal with things as this come at me and not bury my head and leave stuff unpaided or try to forget about them. all they do is get worse/more and thay hve to be dealt with some day.

good luck all and keep the faith!!!

Keep the faith! Make sure you stay focused on the long term but take it a day at a time.