Winning was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Before winning big I gambled, but it didn't really feel like a problem. I'd only lose a bit here and there but it was more for fun it felt like. Then I won big and everything changed. It was a very significant amount I won, but it didn't matter, I blew through it all somehow in a matter of days and it literally put me in a state of shock. I couldn't wrap my head around how I had lost it all. And then I ended up depositing more. It's like none of it was real and I chased that feeling. I'm thankful that I recently told my parents and partner before I fell into debt and spent all my own money too. I've lost a chunk of it which hurts. I've never really had much money, and what I won could have helped so much it is so painful to think about it. But now I'm just trying to move on and be thankful that I've came here, read other people's stories and realized I'm not alone, and it could have been worse if I carried on. If I manage to just stop now, I know I'll be one of the lucky ones. Down the line I hope it'll be a distant memory and I can be happy once again. But at the moment it's like I'm fighting a constant urge, and in my head it doesn't make sense why I would even want to try again.
I wish online gambling wasn't so accessible, it really is an evil industry. Now when I'm tempted to play I look at how much money casino's make and how rich the owners are. It makes me mad enough to not want to play. I hope it helps others being on here too. Even just typing this out helps me. And seeing others peoples stories and how I'm not alone in this helps too.
Have you joined gamstop?
it doesn’t work anyway there are non gamstop sites and this is what should be banned
Hi all thank you for sharing your experiences and well done for your determination as you continue to understand and address your problem gambling behaviour.
I have provided the links for GamStop for any one deciding whether to use that service and GamBan which provide software blocks to UK Gambling sites. They have been a recovery resource and preventive measure to many seeking to stop gambling, please do review their information and see if it can support you too:
There is also an online CBT Course that can also provide you with recovery focused support GameChange Course - GamCare and you can also access 121 Support with a Support Practitioner via the 24 hour helpline on 0808 802 0133.
All the best for the future
Rets
Forum Admin
@3o6anz9cym, yeah I joined Gamstop too. And I went on an offshore casino after joining they really should be banned. It makes self exclusion bad for problem gamblers because we find worse off alternatives where the casino's may not be legit and have low withdrawal limits as they know any money left in the account will be spent. I'm not sure why more isn't being done about it.
Hi Giuseppe,
I completely agree with you on this point, I remember winning big off a small bet and that seemed to spiral things completely out of control. Your mind can play tricks on you thinking that was easy so if you bet bigger you can easily win bigger for example.
Gamstop massively helped me, primarily because I used to bet on sports and non-Gamstop sites are dodgy. The bizarre thing is that I used to bet in stores daily as well.
It’s good that your parents and partner know. I relapsed many times over the years (I’m still only 32 now) and at rock bottom attempted to take my own life and thought about doing so hundreds of times. Since meeting my girlfriend 3.5 years ago she has changed my life and probably saved it as well.
It still frustrates me how much money I’ve lost over the years but the best way to look at it is that it’s in the past, can’t be changed and there are so many people in the world worse off than you (easier said than done).
I’ve managed to turn my life around in the last 3 years and gone from having a shocking credit score and massive debt to owning my own house.
Things will always get better with time if you stick with it. Wish you all the best.
Adam
@rcxzskvm51 thank you for the reply and telling me your story. So far when I'm ever tempted reading other people's stories is what helps me most and how things just do get better after stopping with time. I'm trying to put it behind me, I still get low but realise I'm lucky I have my partner and my parents. Tbh my partner doesn't know the full extent of it, just that it is a problem and how much of my own money I lost. I didn't have the heart to tell her how much I did actually win. She lives in another country (USA) and I am hoping to move out there next year. When we are together I'm so much happier and doing so much more I know I'll be in a much better place when we finally get to be together again. We previously lived in Australia for 3 years, I never gambled once, I didn't even think about it at all. Even though I did time and again before that when I was in the UK. Feel like I started it again when I got home from Australia, since I've been low being apart and I work night shifts where I'm sat I'm an office bored with nobody around. And then we till the issue really only started after a big win, whereas before it just felt like a bit of fun.
I'm also lucky I didn't spend everything because I had one very bad night where it spiralled and I could have easily done so. It's gutting how much more I could have had but as they say money earned gambling never stays your money. They get it back in the end from most people.
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