We had a discussion at our last GA meeting during which it was suggested that we all read the 12 steps to recovery each week without considering what they mean and how we can implement them. As my homework, I decided to analyse them and decide how relevant they were to me personally. Here are my findings:
1. We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become unmanageable.
s**t, bad start! If I admit that I am powerless over gambling, how can I contemplate being able to give up? Must be missing something here.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living.
I used to be agnostic, but am now, almost certainly, atheist. As I have no belief in a higher power, this step can have no meaning to me. I believe that you take responsibility for your own actions. As Jean Paul Sartre said, "Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does."
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding.
See 2
4. Made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves.
This has to be a precursor to wanting to give up gambling. If our belief was that we were doing nothing wrong, or that money was not an issue, we would have no compulsion to want to give up. I do love the idea of a moral inventory though and agree this should be ongoing throughout recovery.
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
I can't argue with this one, except that it is not for everyone to air their dirty washing in public and if I confess to a stranger, does this really fullfil any purpose?
6. Were entirely ready to have these defects of character removed.
This should follow on from step 4 and is in fact an integral part of any moral and personal inventory,(see Step 10).
7. Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings.
I have no understanding or concept of God.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
See 9
9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Surely 8 and 9 are the same except for some semantics and the phrase "when to do so would injure them or others". Merged together this is one to be proud of.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Here's one that I like! I think that makes two! or three?
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
See 2 and 7
12. Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to other compulsive gamblers.
It is a fundamental desire of mine during my recovery to help others with this problem. I am not sure that everyone shares my feelings and they do not need to.
Maybe it's time these steps were given a makeover. I would like to see words like "self respect", "personal fulfilment", "honesty", "integrity" and "inspiration" found a place. Over time I will, without doubt, expand on these views, but for the moment I will leave you with another quote.
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Very very interesting points...
Good analysis.
The world is about ready for a simpler and more useful set of Steps to address habitual harmful behaviors.
It might include an assertion, a claiming of territory as it were, that "I am the one who gets to decide". For example, when one sees the temptation (the alcoholic sees a bottle of wine or whatever), and one thinks "I don't want to do that: it ruins my life", and a Mysterious Inner Force says "oh just do it anyway (drink the wine or whatever)" -- who gets to decide?
The first step, admitting powerlessness, is probably about the fact that the Mysterious Inner Force (hint: it's dopamine) really does overpower our cognitive decisions too often. That's how we got here.
For me the second step is rejecting the dopamine's right to decide.
I get to decide.
#bump
Can't figure out how to quote this for you V but I think it echoes your sentiments!
Sunbeam - that really echoes a lot of my feelings about the 12 steps of a different fellowship I used to attend when I lived in Brighton. I know the 12 steps of GA are the same but in a slightly modified post. One of the most honest assessments of the steps I have ever read. Best wishes, Phil.
sunbeam wrote: We had a discussion at our last GA meeting during which it was suggested that we all read the 12 steps to recovery each week without considering what they mean and how we can implement them. As my homework, I decided to analyse them and decide how relevant they were to me personally. Here are my findings:
1. We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become unmanageable.
s**t, bad start! If I admit that I am powerless over gambling, how can I contemplate being able to give up? Must be missing something here.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living.
I used to be agnostic, but am now, almost certainly, atheist. As I have no belief in a higher power, this step can have no meaning to me. I believe that you take responsibility for your own actions. As Jean Paul Sartre said, "Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does."
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding.
See 2
4. Made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves.
This has to be a precursor to wanting to give up gambling. If our belief was that we were doing nothing wrong, or that money was not an issue, we would have no compulsion to want to give up. I do love the idea of a moral inventory though and agree this should be ongoing throughout recovery.
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
I can't argue with this one, except that it is not for everyone to air their dirty washing in public and if I confess to a stranger, does this really fullfil any purpose?
6. Were entirely ready to have these defects of character removed.
This should follow on from step 4 and is in fact an integral part of any moral and personal inventory,(see Step 10).
7. Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings.
I have no understanding or concept of God.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
See 9
9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Surely 8 and 9 are the same except for some semantics and the phrase "when to do so would injure them or others". Merged together this is one to be proud of.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Here's one that I like! I think that makes two! or three?
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
See 2 and 7
12. Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to other compulsive gamblers.
It is a fundamental desire of mine during my recovery to help others with this problem. I am not sure that everyone shares my feelings and they do not need to.
Maybe it's time these steps were given a makeover. I would like to see words like "self respect", "personal fulfilment", "honesty", "integrity" and "inspiration" found a place. Over time I will, without doubt, expand on these views, but for the moment I will leave you with another quote.
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Reading between the lines you could really use a sponsor to help you with the illness
With reflection I've decided to delete my post about sponsors which was obviously a personal opinion but perhaps belonged elsewhere on the forum. Apologies, Phil.
Deleted
Soz for the confusion Tri...That's a 4 year old post from someone who in 2007 was only ever going to consider GA as a last resort & has since found his way. I obviously can't speak for the author but his recent posts are extremely favourable towards GA & to some extent the polar opposite from those of 10 years ago. I knew it in my head but should have clarified that too.
Apologies to sunbeam to whom, if you also post on the Daily Strength site, I owe a debt of gratitude.
I didn't realise that this post from 5 years ago had received any response whatsoever. Thanks to everyone for your contributions.
For the record I am now over 5 years and 3 months free from my addiction and my views on the 12 steps remain unchanged. I am a regular at GA, but still glaze over when the Orange Book comes out. Either I or the book are missing something fundamental when it comes to supporting and helping problem gamblers in their discovery of a new life.
Take care everyone.
Ken
Hi Ken, you didn’t answer my question about the Daily Strength website...I’m pretty sure it is you that re-directed me here & so I again extend my hands of gratitude!
I don’t share your entire views on the Steps & everytime I read my orange book it’s feels like a new read...Although I can hop the pages like an old timer hops the Big Blue book, I probably don’t get as much out of it as some do...Wouldn’t be GA without it though 🙂
Congratulations on your clean time, I hope you are enjoying your recovery - ODAAT
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