Well, well, well...
I'm finally here, ever since signs (4/1) nutted prism (15/8 fav) on the line, one heady evening in 1996, i've been suckered in, i've lost £10,000's with all the usual stories of "what might of been"...yeah, of course i've had ecstatic highs, but I blocked out the perpetual, blood curdling, dark, hateful, vomit inducing lows, but that's what we do isn't it? blame anyone, anything, any god d**n object we can, except the one who is TRULY to blame, ourselves...it's took me 24 (yeah, count 'em) 24 years to see the light, I gave up for 11 months in 2015, then had a good old fashioned £3000-£3,500 blow out in 11 (what felt like) glorious days, I (well, we actually, as my partner has stuck by m before, and is going to go to the back of the cliche cupboard and give me "one last chance") will now have to pay off, the financial implications, unlike others, is not huge (i've been in over £20,000 debt through gambling 2-3 times in the past, and though tooth and nail dug my way out, let me tell you, that's NO WAY to lead your life) just the hindsight of looking back to what might have been, I have a great job, savings, financial security, (maybe that's why I relapsed?!?!?) and a VERY thoughtful and forgiving partner, and generally an awesome life, so this basically has to be it, and I really think it is....
My pseudonym is Bella, and this is my 10th day not gambling.
Good luck Bella
I think you have intelligently answered all your own questions here, so i've nothing to add.
We my friend can do this and keep on doing the not gambling.......... so lets make it count for all our lives to stay good as possible as life can be challenging enough without this burdenous entrapmentation.
Regards
LEST-WE-FORGET
Hi Bella,
Thanks for the opening post, honest and detailed story of the ups & downs we all experience as CGs. The hurt we cause our loved ones is awful. I have a good wife who has been very understanding, how she would react if I was to relapse I don't know! I don't want to go there, not even think about it. But it could happen, like many on here. All part of the battle ahead.
Wishing you all the best.
Started a recevery diary: "Bella Back From The Brink" 🙂
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