2014 Challenge

Hi Fellow Soldiers

Last check in for 2014 for me. Still GF. I would never had come this far without the support of everyone here. Mr B, you have been any absolute angel, leading us through 2014, picking us up when we fall and encouraging us all the way. A true inspiration to us all. I am looking forward to 2015, especially as I will now be able to start paying off debts and living the life I am supposed to live.

I wish you all a very Happy New Year - see you all on the other side (2015).

Elfie x

Evening all 331 gamble free days February I will hit my year hope everyone had a lovely Xmas and will have a brill hogmanay.hitthefanx

Just checking in ! Not sure on my number of days think it's 209 happy new year everyone

Day 215 checking in properly sorry for not checking in last week thanks for all the great comments mr b first Xmas I haven't wasted my bonus in years so grateful to mr b all the best everyone

final check in of 2014....buzzing.com... 506 GF days and looking forward to what life will bring in 2015. take the time to recognise all you have achieved in 2014 even the blips because these will help you build strength to a more succesful year. Mr B i salute you sir for your efforts, your kindness and your honesty we all deserve happiness and im glad it is all flooding back to you.

see you all next year.

Del 🙂

That’s the 2014 journey over and the 2015 one right at the very first step of the road.

A New Year always brings an element of reflection but also resolution for the future and that pretty much will be the form of the final ever update for the 2014 Challenge. It will come as no surprise that I’ll cover off a lot of things statistically and I’m sure Phil will use these to lay down aspirations for the 2015 group. Each one of the measures we’ve used in the last 12 months have been used for a specific purpose – to gauge our individual and collective progress, as well as being able to motivate ourselves to keep on track no matter how bumpy the road has become. There are other numbers I’ll use that will come with an element of warning to all of our new 2015 soldiers – I don’t think any of you underestimate how difficult a recovery this is and it’s good you don’t……...but it is one that can be navigated with hard work, honesty and commitment. The other reflections will come by way of group learnings that could help each of us individually lay solid foundations for a successful and gamble free 2015. Before finishing off the update with some personal thoughts I will look to the future and list the key things that have helped people on the 2014 Challenge turn their lives around.

2014 – The Final Counts

• A total of 126 users at some point have been part of the 2014 Challenge.
• 6 members of the team are “Clean for ‘14” – Del79, Duncanmac, Happy Days, Mr Brightside, No Maybe, Hardtimes, Richy244 are all confirmed as having gone through the whole of 2014 without gambling. I’m hoping that a 7th member has too…….Scambling hasn’t checked in for a couple of weeks – hope you’re ok mate. Many many congratulations guys – what a wonderful achievement and great inspiration to everyone!!
• 95 of the soldiers have been lost in battle and have not communicated as to their progress – it’s fantastic to see some of these individuals checking in to join the 2015 Challenge.
• 26 members of the team have checked in during the final week and I am aware of 5 further soldiers who have been in touch with me in the last few weeks who are safe, well and gamble free.
• Of the 31 who we know are safe, well and back at base camp, there have been 6 who have had a lapse at some point on their journey. 25 have not gambled since the day and hour they joined the Challenge.
• If we are hard on ourselves and say that pure retention i.e. never gambled since joining the Challenge and part of it to the end of the year, then our overall “success” rate is 20%........this means that on average, 1 in 5 people who join the challenge will go on to have a long and sustained gamble free run. It does NOT mean that they have recovered (past tense)……it just means that they are doing very well in recovery. Statistically, only 3% of compulsive gamblers will recover to the point of recovery……..being part of this group will statistically give you more than 6x the chance to achieve something that the vast majority will not.
• In total, there have been 42 lapses in the group where soldiers have gambled. There is a huge “however” with this statistic though……..the key thing is that they came back. They showed the determination, humility and commitment to the group to start again. When you are not part of a group then the easiest thing to do is revert back to previous behaviours and be accountable only to yourself……..I am going to talk about “commitment” later in the update. There are 2 members of the final checked in group who have had a lapse but are now over 100 days gamble free and have shown to everyone that it can be done!
• The total count of gamble free days for every member who has come through the 2014 Challenge has totalled a staggering 14714 days which is the equivalent to over 40 years of gamble free living.
• In 2014, if you had joined the Challenge then the average number of days you would have been stopped for reached 117 days by the time the clock struck 12 midnight on the 31st December.
• Using an average monetary loss of £50 per person per day then the total number of days stopped during the 2014 Challenge means that we have collectively prevented £735,700 from entering into the profit and loss sheets of the gambling industry. This means that each person on average has either saved £5840, or more likely, prevented getting themselves a further £5840 in debt during the year.
• There have been 56 soldiers at some point or another have been members of the Century Club – a period where they have gone 100 days or more without gambling.

Now those are some incredible statistics and a clear sign that there is safety in numbers and that collective support can help pull a team through. That’s one of the reasons that the 2015 Challenge is so important. However, what the stats won’t tell us is…………..how much debt has been paid off in 2014 as a result of team members being gamble free? (I alone have managed to free myself of £16k of gamble related debt)………what is the quality of life improvement? How much better do our families feel about the way we are investing in them rather than losing their financial future in a gambling induced coma? How much improvement has there been in our performance at work? How much has our physical and mental wellbeing improved? How well are we sleeping now? Can we now look in the mirror and begin to like what we see? There are countless benefits to stopping gambling…………

In this section of the update I’m going to pull on a number of things that have been in previous updates, posts from soldiers and give some key learnings (the big “Tips” from the 2014 Challenge will come later).

The single most important learning for me and for many others has been around the full adoption of the “Gambling Triangle” principles. The members of the 2014 Challenge who have had the longest sustained recovery are all advocates of it. Time, Location and Money. Remove one of these and it’s impossible to gamble.

I’m not going to apologise for labouring on this word. Successful recovery and being part of the 2014 and now the 2015 team needs commitment. Be very clear, it is very evident that the soldiers who have supported their own recovery and the recovery of others in the most effective way are the ones who have taken their commitment to recovery and the group really seriously. Yes, there’s been a couple of lapses on the way, however, the group has been an extra conscience to those who have committed to being part of it. For the 2015 group, be really clear with yourself what the commitment means – think of it like a contract. You are contracting NOT to gamble – if it was a 12 month gym membership and you never went to the gym then you would still have to pay your monthly subscription. You are signing a 12 month contract that you need to be really determined to see through…….that will hopefully see you being able to manage your own fitness come the end of it. Don’t enter into the contract if you have doubts whether you’ll fully utilise your membership – if you have doubts then you aren’t quite ready to stop – something mentally or physically is stopping you!

Lapses

At the start of the 2014 Challenge I would get really downhearted and upset when someone lapsed. I would take it personally and feel as if I had failed the individual in some way. However, as I matured into my own journey and watched the journeys of others I realised that lapses are part and parcel of recovery. Don’t take this as an excuse to lapse because it’s not alright! For every lapse, there has to be a reason – a circumstance, a location, time, money, triggers etc. Each time you have one then you need to understand what the trigger was and do something about it. A great quote on the 2014 Challenge was when one of the members said “the true sign of madness is doing the same thing over and over yet expecting to get a different outcome each time”. Another one which I loved was “nothing changes unless something changes”. See the Top Tips later in the update and make a checklist to try and prevent lapses but, despite a bit of contradiction to the “commitment” paragraph, when they do happen then learn, adjust, act and start again.

The Forum and Challenge

The facility provided by GamCare in the shape of this forum is invaluable and the Challenge is a big part of that for many. A number of people have graduated from posting daily on their own diary to just checking in once a week on the Challenge……but the key thing is that they are still here, regardless of how many days of recovery they have behind them. Sadly it’s a common occurrence for someone to say farewell and “go it alone”…….but more often than not their next post is not to come on and say “hi, I’m doing great”…….it’s typically, “I wish I’d stayed with it”. There are a few who I am aware of who have managed to go it alone and are still gamble free but the advice would be to stick with the forum and at least check in once a week to the 2015 Challenge. One thing we do need to remember though is that every journey is different………

Every Journey is Different………..but the Goal is the Same

Being so process driven and logical it has been a source of endless frustration for me that there is no “formula” to recovery. It took me a long time to appreciate that everyone is different and what works for one may not work for another. There are some general things that I’ll touch on later that can be applied, however, a big reflection for me is that everyone needs to appreciate the recovery journey of one is very different to someone else. There is a common goal though and that is to stop gambling. While you may not agree with the opinion of someone else on methods of stopping, just remember that the goal is the same. Support and encouragement is key to this journey – learn when to put your arm around someone but equally know when to put a toe up their backside! That’s a responsibility for everyone in the Challenge group and has been great to see happening in 2014. The other big reflection in this area is that while the journey may be different to recovery, the feeling of been addicted to gambling is very similar for all of us…..so you are talking to people who know how it feels!

The Addiction Circle – the Principle of Breaking the Addiction

I’m not going to go into this in a huge amount of detail but if anyone wants me to then pop a post on the 2015 Challenge thread and I’ll try to articulate it again. The theory of it is that following a period where you know there’s something wrong (and the same theory applies to alcohol, drugs etc.) you decide that you finally need to do something about it. These are known as the “pre contemplation” and “contemplation” phases. It’s the action phase you move into that was the key learning for me – this is where you need to lay down all the things you need to do to effectively create as many barriers as you can to gambling (like the adoption of the Gambling Tria ngle). Don’t skimp on the action phase! Everyone who joined the 2014 Challenge and is part of the 2015 one has taken some form of action, but really question whether you’ve done enough to stop. The phase after action is about maintaining…………this is where Duncanmac’s phrase of “abstain and maintain” is so powerful. Maintaining is the most difficult phase and for us, could last a lifetime. Get your actions right and focus on maintaining – this means keeping your guard up at all times!

The Number of Days Clean Doesn’t Matter……..It’s Today that Counts

At the beginning of 2014 I was obsessed with my number of clean days and while I still like to see it grow, the most important thing is today……..and not gambling today. As compulsive gamblers we tend to beat ourselves up badly about the past and regret everything related to gambling – losses, relationships, time with kids etc. However, we can’t influence what happened yesterday or last week or last month……..but we can influence what we do today. If you’re early in your journey then don’t look at the guys who are over a year or 100’s of days clean – celebrate with them yes, but focus on yourself and remember how fragile recovery is. One of my favourite phrases on my journey in relation to the length of recovery was, “the person who has stopped gambling the longest is the person who woke up first this morning”. It truly is a one day at a time journey……..I still look in the mirror every morning and say out loud, “today I will not gamble”.

The New Year’s Honours List!

Name Clean Days

• bornagain 31
• Happy Days 384
• Mr Brightside 388
• Del79 506
• duncanmac 426
• Rst.Ex-CG 108
• Baggins 304
• triangle 293
• ringerbell 293
• delboygolf 286
• Gladsdad 38
• Mo 104
• John64 215
• Wolf57 209
• Elfie17 191
• StoneRoses 5
• SuzyLemon 202
• mjc1974 218
• mba 73
• AndyJ 106
• mrt1969 90
• I wished 247
• egfr 56
• paulll 45
• elchipper 36
• Emily82 28
• Batman 314
• Hitthefan 330
• richy 244 413
• Hardtimes 385
• No Maybe 424

The Top Tips for Recovery

What creates the conditions for us to succeed in our recovery?

The top 5 for stopping are this……….

2. Handing Over Financial Control – 31% of answers cited that not having access to cash and financial control were significant. This often comes hand in hand with telling the person close to you why…….but they are surprisingly not intrinsically linked all the time!

4. The Gamcare Site and the 2014 Challenge – 20% of respondents said that the commitment to a group and being part of the team here has prevented them slipping, as well as regularly visiting and contributing to the site.

5. Downright Determination – the real desire to stop was mentioned by 15% of individuals – various reasons from family to financial.

So, if you see anyone joining the site and asking what they should do to support their recovery – we have the answers now!! They need to tell everything to someone close, hand over their finances, join the challenge, install a gambling blocking software and have the real want to stop – 4 practical actions and 1 behavioural……..although I sense the last one may be the biggest challenge. I think it’s worth all of us considering whether we have gaps in our recovery armour when considering the feedback!

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The above was what was written in June this year – I would add two more things to that list – the first being the adoption of the Gambling Triangle and the second is a critical part to that, which is self exclusion. Not just closing accounts etc. but properly self excluding from sites and bookmakers. Please don’t underestimate the importance of entering into that new form of a contract of exclusion – it’s a conscious act of recovery.

When I fell into owning the 2014 Challenge I had no idea how it would shape, evolve or grow. I didn’t have a clue as to what success looked like. I really didn’t know what to expect. As time went on we set ourselves some aspirational targets of members, clean days, retention, financial savings…….and while not all of those have been hit, I think what has been achieved is that, as a group, we have started something that will hopefully leave a legacy for the forum and its users.

It’s often been said on the 2014 Challenge pages that we could write a book of the journey, the experience, the learnings, the highlights and the disappointments. I guess the way I look at it is that we have simply written the first chapter. The book will never be written for many of us - it will simply continue to be scribed and new wisdom added as the pages turn. It is an honour to hand the book to Phil and the 2015 Challengers to write the next chapter. I look forward to reading the pages, learning from them and growing with you all.

My name is Tony and I am a compulsive gambler. Today I will not gamble. I will take my commitment to being part of the 2015 Challenge as seriously as I have for the 12 months of 2014. I wish every single person on both Challenges the very best – it is in our hands to write the next chapter. I’m officially checking out of 2014 and checking in to 2015!!

I have come out of my cage and I’m doing just fine…………..’cos I’m Mr Brightside xxx

Hi Tony,

Great last update and am so pleased you have come out of your cage and feeling fine.

Suzanne xx

I stopped gambling 10 days ago and would be happy to share experiences, milestones and support that would help with the recovery. Happy New Year guys!

Hi Mr B - great exit speech!! Massive end year stats! I am so impressed at the figures!!

And finally, my personal thanks for taking command of this challange and steering it safely into dock at year end. By providing these facilities it has aided my recovery, and although i will never know, without posting each and every week, reading all other posts and eagerly anticipating the Sunday round up, I am not 100% sure I would still be GF from joining. # My heartfelt thanks then for 'being there'.

So, well done, especially on your goal reaching year ~ and that goes to everyone on this March! See you all hopefully on the start of another adventure in 2015.

Kind regards & a HNY to all, Cliff

Just checking in day 2016, happy new year everyone

Hi everyone

We had a request to make the 2014 challenge a 'sticky' to demonstrate a year's worth of abstinence and so all the hard work did not get forgotten. Well done to all those who participated and gave such a lot of help and hope to others.

Best wishes

Forum Admin

Forum Admin wrote:

Hi everyone

We had a request to make the 2014 challenge a 'sticky' to demonstrate a year's worth of abstinence and so all the hard work did not get forgotten. Well done to all those who participated and gave such a lot of help and hope to others.

Best wishes

Forum Admin

Good idea. Thanks forum Admin

Can you do another one for 2015 I would love to be a part of it

kimmii wrote:

Can you do another one for 2015 I would love to be a part of it

There is one for 2015.

checking in again still without a single bet since 10 nov 2014, however been getting very itchy recently not gambleb but hovering over sites and stuff, not felt very good recently tho depression and other issues still going on