https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy9aj-dr118 inspirational watch think it's important to stay positive during recovery and this definitely is sometimes we feel like recovery is impossible but this shows us no limits to what we can achieve even if it isn't strictly gambling related.
Hi im Shane, im 36 been a gambler from 10 years old starting on 2p fruit machines then to football, horses, poker and dogs. Get paid monthly and wages usually gone within days, i gamble everyday if i have money except sundays as the bookies arent open and i have self excluded myself from every uk bookie online, today is the start of my first day not gambling, went to bookies twice today with money in my pocket and didnt do the bet, unwards and upwards!!
Been to the football and then straight into work, so welcome to anyone new who has posted this afternoon, I will add you to the list shortly and Sundays update will be on by 10am.
Third day clean... Loving it...
2015 Challenge Update Week One
Introduction
Welcome to the 2015 challenge and thank you for signing up. I didn’t expect to see such a strong group of soldiers so quickly, it’s been a fantastic start to the year. I would like to start this off by thanking Mr B for running the 2014 Challenge so well and helping keep a lot of us on track. It’s thanks to him that we start this year with such a large group and I intend to do my best to ensure the challenge goes from strength to strength. Doing these updates is a time consuming task, Mr B has put a lot of his time into creating a spreadsheet for this year’s challenge to make it easier for me to keep track of soldiers days free from gambling and also to highlight any milestones. So again big thanks to Tony!
I will try to follow a similar format when posting these updates, however if any soldiers have any ideas that they think could improve my updates or make them more interesting feel free to let me know. You can let me know on the group email which is [email protected] or just post a message on this thread.
Something else that I want to try this year is a telephone list. There may be times that we feel low and need to talk, maybe the urges to gamble are getting strong, maybe we need more than just a post on the forum. So what I suggest is that anyone who is happy to be contacted by a fellow soldier in need of a chat sends a message to the group email account with their name, phone number and times they are generally free to chat. Then if someone is in need of a chat they can email the group and I will forward on a few numbers for them to call. Let me know what you think, the feedback is really useful. Another way the group email can be utilised is to allow soldiers to contact each other away from the site without having to place any personal details on here.
365 Days Commitment
We have all made the first move by signing up to this challenge, we all want to make a change to our lives and go a full calendar year without gambling. That is the easy part out the way, the next step is to put into place a successful plan of action. There are a number of techniques we can utilise to prevent us from gambling. We need to find out what works for us and with such a strong group there is all sorts of invaluable advice available on this forum. Most importantly we need to have 100% commitment to this challenge. The only rules are that you check in once a week with the number of days since you last gambled and you are determined to give your all to not place a bet in 2015. This isn’t something you can take or leave, successful completion of the challenge will change your life. I know there will be slips, I myself slipped up more than once in the 2014 challenge! If you do slip you may be ashamed or think twice about coming back, I certainly did. Give your all, this is a chance to make 2015 a special year, tell your fellow soldiers how you feel and if there’s a slip along the way then don’t give up, dust yourself down and get back on here. There will be ups and downs ahead of us, but one day at a time make that choice not to gamble, make the commitment to be an active and regular user of the challenge and just see how your life will change!
Here are two posts from the 2014 Challenge that show the rewards that commitment and a full year gamble free can bring!!!
mrbrightside 08/12/14
Evening everyone!
Well today is Day 365 - a day I've been looking forward to being over if I'm honest - 12 months ago today was one of the worst I've had in recent years.........however, every single one of you that has posted today, yesterday and every single day this year offering me support and encouraging me on my journey........well, I can't offer sufficient thanks. Tomorrow was going to be my day of celebration, but not any more.......although I will celebrate then too!
I've not had as emotional today in a long long time, but instead of tears of misery, today has been about happy tears. Some of your posts have reduced me to a real wreck, but in a nice way! In a way I'm speechless and a bit disbelieving about the things you've all said...........in another way I'm truly humbled............in all ways I am so appreciative. The fact you have taken time out of your busy days and posted what you have posted - you will never ever know how much it has meant to me and my family.
I am immensely proud to have gone a year free from gambling. However, the feeling of satisfaction is far greater from the friendships, hope, future and inspiration that I get from the group of people who have come, gone and still exist on this forum. While I hope to meet some of you (Mike, that offer of a beer and reflection is one that I want to arrange!), it's inevitable that I won't............however, I just want every single one of you to know that you have personally and collectively had a huge influence in my journey..............my short term past and more importantly, my long term future. Thank you. I will cherish serving you for another few weeks.........and then I will gladly deputise from time to time for Phil.........who I am over the moon has offered to keep this Challenge going into 2015.........Phil.....we'll need to meet up in January, of course for a handover (but mainly for beer consumption and Choclate Eclair distribution........you don't know the trouble you've caused with Mrs B!! 🙂 )
Without making this an undeserved Oscar speech, it would be wrong for me to close out this special post without thanking a few very very important people. My amazing wife who has been through hell because of me in the last 2 years - I'm sorry, but once again you saved me, thankyou. My phenomenal mum and dad - you never bailed me out financially, you bailed me out with love, advice, a home and prayer. You taught me so much in the last year....on top of the 41 before that. I will never be able to pay any of the 3 of you back for all you've done and continue to do for me, but I'll never stop trying - I love you all with all my heart.
Right, heading to bed to fall asleep without a worry.....to wake up on Day 366.........a new start, a new challenge and a new life. I love it.
Thanks again you big bunch of amazing people.
Tony.........'cos I'm Mr Brightside...........and I'm checking in one year free from gambling 🙂
happy days 12/12/14
Good evening everyone,
Well the day has finally arrived and I have reached my first goal I set this time last year of 365 days without placing a bet. It has been hard, especially the first 3 months, of when I constantly thought of gambling on most days/ nights. I am going to give you an insight into who I am and the reasons I joined this forum and what I intend to do in the future to try and remain gamble free.
My name is Mike; I’m 44 and a compulsive gambler. I live in on the edge of Dartmoor with my Wife and 2 children (11+5).
I have been in the Armed Forces for 26 years next month and have travelled to some wonderful places whilst deployed away from the UK. My first taste of gambling came with the annual family holidays to seaside resorts and the evenings spent in penny arcades. My mother spent a lot of her days and nights in the local bingo hall with me being allowed to watch from the foyer and absorb the world of gambling. My father working away for the majority of my childhood and he has never really gambled at all.
I started to watch my local football team(Preston) with my 2 older brothers at the age of 16 on most Saturdays and this led to me following them into the local bookies and then placing 50p accumulators on horses running on the Sat afternoon. The worst thing happened at the beginning of my gambling days and I struck lucky and won a 5 figure sum for a 50p bet. That was me doomed and the start of a 27 gambling addiction.
Time away with the forces on deployment was fine as I only gambled on my return to the UK. All of free time and money on leave was spent in the bookies trying to gain that big win that would secure my future. It never happened, and the debt over the years grew and grew. Bank loans, Credit cards, selling of cars, overdrafts, all funded a world of a compulsive gambler and nothing was ever going to stop me living this dream. When the money ran out, then my Mother and Father would always step in and fund my addiction, they knew I had a problem but never questioned it because I could little wrong.
This continued even when I met my current wife in the late 90’s and subsequently married in 2001. The lies and deceit became normality and the warnings of divorce happened. She would smell the smoke from betting shops on my clothes when I got home and question me; I would make some lies up and think I have got away with it only for her find old betting slips in my clothes / car. In the year of 2007 and the ban of smoking in public was extra special as I could now spend the full afternoons in the betting shop with not a scent of smoke on the clothes.
During my gambling days I did some terrible things to fund my addiction, which I am still today, very regretful and deeply ashamed of. I have stolen money from my parents, spent money on their credit cards, stole equipment from my work and sold online (Of which I got caught by the Police and charged + deselected from a promotion at work), pawned my wife’s engagement ring, and even emptied my children’s piggy banks to get a few pounds to place a bet.... The list goes on, but at the time, all I wanted is to gamble and nothing was ever going to get in my way, no matter what.
All the years of gambling has resulted in my having numerous CCJ’s, defaults on loans + credit agreements, pay day loans, etc, etc. I have lost the trust of some close family and friends of who lent me money, only for me not to pay them back.
Last year was the final nail in the coffin, I had a large bet on a odds on horse that could not possibly lose, it did, and I had just spent all of the families Christmas money in one go. We had £35 left in the bank and it was the beginning of Dec. I cannot remember the drive home to my wife; I was physically sick and once home, I broke down in front of her.
She told my parents and they told her to leave me; as I was at my lowest ever point in my life and had some very strange thoughts going through my mind. Thankfully, I was given another chance by my wife and family of which I am not going to ruin again.
But I am happier than I have ever been in my life since stopping gambling 12 months ago. A big part of that comes from the determination to not let my past rule my future - there is nothing I can do to change it, there is no way I can turn back the clock so all I can do it push on and live my life to the fullest.
The thing that I have realised about long-term gambling over the past year is that you begin to lose track of everyday life; worry, stress, debt, sleepless nights, thoughts of winning and losing becomes the norm - you have become accustomed to that "sick release" because you are not in touch with how you acted before you ever came across gambling.
Compulsive gamblers are generally emotionally sensitive people - this is why we experience such euphoria when we win, and soul-wrenching desperation to regain what we have lost when others can walk away. Gamblers don’t crave the money itself; they crave the sensation of attaining it, despite what they tell themselves. If they have the biggest win, enough to pay every single debt, it wouldn't be enough. In fact, their biggest win would be their biggest nightmare because the comedown would be huge, which would lead to them wanting to experience the same thing very quickly indeed, which invariably leads to losing, and then them doing absolutely everything in their power to get those "winnings" back which leads to spending money they haven’t got, and then upping their stakes to ridiculous amounts.
Sorry for the ramble folks but I just wanted to get a few things of my chest and give you and insight into me and my previous gambling history.
Can I just thank every single person who has helped me along the way in my recovery, from the members who are no longer with us to the main man himself, Mr B (Tony) who has been pivotal in helping not just me, but lots of individuals who have joined this forum with the hope to stop gambling.
It is just the start of my recovery, I have turned my life around and I look forward to having a gamble free life.
Have a great weekend and try to remain strong and I look forward to celebrating other member’s success stories in the near future.
Mike
Milestones in the coming and past week
SuzyLemon smashed through 200 days in the past week and will also reach 30 weeks on Thursday. Congratulations Suzy!
triangle hits 300 days this Wednesday, that takes some doing what a superb achievement!
Elfie17 wakes up on Friday next week on day 200, top notch Elfie, well done!
Paulll hits his half century on Monday, 50 days is a great start!
wolf57 passed the 30 week mark last week, good stuff Cliff!
Ringerbell is another to join the 300 club this Wednesday, double celebrations on Wednesday!
Garyl1976 got past 9 months in the last week and hits 40 weeks this coming Friday. Brilliant Gary!
Roll of Honour/ Days Gamble Free!
Now for the important bit, we have accrued 208 days collectively this year without gambling, so if we take an average days losses at 50 pounds that means that this year we have already saved a grand total of £10400!!! Its also astonishing to start the year with over 50 soldiers and I really hope this number grows as the year goes on.
Summing up
I hope everybody is pleased with the update, I feel this group has already bonded well and I really hope we can use it as more than just somewhere to check in once a week. If you need to let off steam or some friendly advice then this is a good place to get things off your chest. I hope the counts are correct, if not let me know and I can correct them. Remember this is your group, if you have any suggestions let me know. Well done for joining the challenge, I really hope we can all make 2015 our year.
Check in is now open until midnight S aturday 10th January, look at my opening post and I will update it through the week as you each member checks in. If anyone has some time after reading this take a look at Stephen2105's recovery diary and give him some support as hes struggling right now.
Phil
As requested some more details.. 48yr old married with two kids, one at Uni and one in 6th Form.. Have been gambling for 30 years, with several attempts to stop over the past ten years.. In the last two years have generally held my own, but frustratingly, as I would win big in golf bets and lose It all on horses and virtuals.. So financially, probably lost most of my money pre 2012.. Did get to 20 weeks gamble free twice in the past 18 months.. Want to really push this time, as I'm starting to find it boring nowadays..I don't bet online, barred myself from all accounts..need to keep my mind away from racing and sports news.. Hard work,
Checking in on day 290.
Have a great Sunday.
Steve
Yes, great update Phil - thank you. Great to know we are in your safe hands for 2015. Checking in for the coming week and
wishing all 2015 Challengers a happy and gamble-free New Year.
Joanna
Great strong first post Phil, and that's a great idea with the phone numbers.
Checking in on 251 days and I want to congratulate everyone who has reached milestones this week or are about to reach them,
Every day we abstain is a milestone, but it is so very positive for us, when we do get to 50,100. etc, and it can be done just by taking one day at a time,
Wishing everyone on the challenge a strong and positive gambling free week,
Suzanne xx
Great Update Phil. A massive thank you for the time and effort you are putting in its much appreciated. Had my first restless night last night since stopping and was demotivated this morning and having bad thoughts but your post and this challenge has got my positive thinking back. I did not gamble yesterday, i will not gamble today and i have not gamble this year.
Things like that post greggsboy make this worthwhile, stay strong, you can do it. Thanks for all the check ins and feedback, I will update the check ins on the opening page when I get home from work tonight.
Hi all, can I enlist please?! Can anyone tell me how to join the group? Thanks.
Checking in - Day 206
Great post Phil - really good to see so many people deciding to change their lives around. There is strength in numbers. Together we can learn from each other how to live without gambling. It is great to be part of a group who are starting 2015 with renewed determination. Happy to be one of the soldiers marching alongside you all.
Take care,
Suzy
@somethingsgottagive you goto the forum options then to overcoming problem gambling, then the heading of 2015 challenge, you may want to do a recovery diary aswell that way people can comment on your diary
This is great your doing this for people Phil, checking day 2 no gambling, today will be easy, no temptation as its Sunday.
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