£7k down in a night

Posted by: Bananaz

What's the point. I cant stop even if I try. 

Today I post from a family holiday, 199 days gamble free. I still have regret and loads of debt (more than you mate), but around Christmas time I chose to stop. It’s been tough and I know you’re going through hell, but I logged on tonight to see how you’re doing. I know you can beat this if you really want to and I also know how s**t the first months felt. Let me know if you need to talk in person. 

Hi Bananaz

Its a disgusting feeling when the debts keep piling up and you convince yourself that continuing to gamble will soothe the pain. It wont. It will only get you deeper into trouble both financially and mentally. Trust me mate your best bet is to get gambling blockers put on your laptop/phone and get some financial advice to plan your road back to recovery.

The fact that your partner has suggested she keeps track of all finances shows she’s supporting you in this and wants you to beat your addiction. Be open with her and don’t cover up any details as it will only snowball further into deceit and trust issues.

You can do this mate. The first few weeks are always the hardest but it will get easier (speaking from experience). 

Good luck and keep posting

Posted by: Bananaz

The gambling is out of control now,  25kI'm over in credit card/loan debt. Not sure why I'm even posting here but told guys I'd keep them up to date. 

im not sure why you are posting here either , or why people on here are telling you everything is gonna be ok and offering a shoulder to cry   on 

im sorry for the reality check but with 25 grands worth of gambling debt around your neck you have an extremely tough 10 years ahead of you by continuing to gamble you are only pushing that number higher and higher 

you are in a hole and trying to gamble your way out of it is not the answer

Posted by: Bananaz

What's the point. I cant stop even if I try. 

But your not even trying!

How are you gaining access to gambling? Online? Bookie? Exclude! Sign up to Gamstop! Cut your cards up!

Put barriers up that will prevent you having access to the gamble. That's trying mate. Or just come back here when you turned that 25k into 50k and youre really in a mess with nowhere to turn.

I'm signed up to Gamstop in my own name but we have a joint gambling account too and that's the one I've been using. I will aim to ban myself by the weekend, it's just a case of building up to it. It's not easy. I gambled yesterday but today has been gamble free so it's a start, but I know I have a long way to go.

 I have an appointment with the bank tomorrow to review my finances. I'm guessing I'll be thrown out once they hear the reasons. 

Btw my partner has left me. She's left the joint account in my name as it's overdrawn, I've said I'll sort it. 

You just need to take control of the situation now t'is all...

I guess going to the bank tomorrow to review things is a step in the right direction. Imagine if they ask you if you still have access to the gamble and you said "I'm building up to it, I'll aim to do it by the weekend"

Then they will definitely turf you out!

Just take control of the situation please. You're like a puppet currently - gambling is pulling all your strings - you are letting it because your self-esteem is at zero currently.

It doesn't have to be this way. As obvious as it sounds you won't be able to sort this out overnight. It will take years. Sorry mate but thats the stark truth. 

You've told her 'youll sort it' but your word is not your honour anymore - that went out the window with your gambling and consequent secrecy, betrayal and mistrust.

Actions are your only hope now brother. Go to the bank, but not because you can call her afterwards and make a point about it, go because you genuinely want to sort out this mess, day by day, bit by bit.

Ban yourself completely with Gamstop - gambling is not your friend, nor will it ever be. Youre in dangerous waters right now - please take care of yourself.

Yes I know your partner has left you... She needs to protect herself right now buddy, from a compulsive gambler who has accrued a vast amount of debt and continues to self-harm by continuing to gamble, spiralling out of control if you will.

Actions speak louder than words bud.

I've been frantically reading money advice forums tonight in preparation for the bank. One of the very interesting articles states that online gambling firms have a duty of care and should make sure customers are betting affordably, and that you can complain and even ask for your deposit back if they didn't take the correct steps to make sure you were gambling only what you could afford. I'm totally hopefully this could be my way out as no way could I afford what I lost. I guess it's maybe a long shot but I'm going to email the online casino tomorrow and explain the situation. Even if I got half back it would be a great help. Anyone else had success with this?? I am so hopeful this works.

At the end of the day although I am to blame they have a share of responsibility too, they are vultures. 

Vultures are an integral part of the natural order of things my man,without them the whole ecosystem would be completely unsettled...

Good luck with your grievance. Let us know how you get on, if it works I think everyone on here will be emailing the gambling operators to get their money back! 

I've always been under the impression that when you sign up to an online betting operator it asks you at sign up what you would like to set your daily limit as? Since you lost loads in one go I'm assuming you didn't set one?

So on this basis, they may throw it back at you and say that they did take the necessary steps to safeguard you from gambling outside of your means?

I'm not trying to P**s on your bonfire, I wish you all the luck in the world with this pursuit. If you pull it off you'll be a legend in my books - just don't go and give the money straight back to the operators if you get it!

The bank had one look at my recent transactions, which unfortunately included a deposit an hour before i was in there, and said they are not prepared to help me. They advised I spoke the the CAB or a debt charity.

My complaint to the online casino also got laughed out. They said they abided by the terms of the gambling conditions code, and also their internal charter, and that several Take a Break warnings were automatically issued to me.

My only hope hope now is to make a complaint to the loan companies that gave me the money, I took out 8 different ones. They should have checked my credit file and deemed me unable to keep up repayments. I spoke to a lawyer recommended by my friend and he is going to write to the loan companies for a fee. He thinks I might have a chance. 

Anyone else successfully done this?

There is a way of doing this re the loans - if you search the diary of Matt 24 there is a link in his diary to help you with this, a really useful one, only applicable to payday loans I think though.

Best of luck!

Ps I hope you find the help that you need to combat this addiction ? whether you get the money back or not.

Posted by: Bananaz

They said they abided by the terms of the gambling conditions code, and also their internal charter, and that several Take a Break warnings were automatically issued to me.

Thanks for sharing this by the way. Truly disgraceful. They know exactly what they are doing. Compounds my resolve, self-belief and commitment to not giving them any more of my money, ever again. 

The last thing I wanted to do when I was (X)k down was 'take a break' ???

Sorry to read the posts. 

I am commenting as i was the same as you back in 2016. I’d actually moved in with my girlfriend, and for some reason, some where in my mind, the gambling was tamed whilst I was living with her, until it then come back for me, I did all my money and when I lost few thousand in our joint account that was the relationship over. 

3 years on mate, things have gotten worse, worse worse, after dozens and dozens of payday loans, bank loans, credit cards. All who ring and send letters to me every day now. Threaten balliffs and I assume it’s a matter of time before my car guys as I haven’t paid that in months. 

My parents bailed me for 7.5k in 2017 and guess what happened with that, haven’t paid them a penny back in 4 months and for some reason they’re continually letting me live under their roof which if I was them, I really wouldn’t. Probably deserve to be homeless for sure. 

Anyway the point I’m making is, an end of a relationship and 10k lost isn’t to our late to turn it all around, id do anything to go back to that day she kicked me out the house and didn’t want to see me again, what then felt like the worst day of my life, was a day I hate myself for not changing my life. 

Good luck. 

Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate them.

Things have had a major upturn. I confessed everything to my parents and basically explained that I might have to go bankrupt. They have substantial savings so they have agreed to lend me approximately 60% of what I owe, so I can get my debt down substantially. I will have to pay them back but there is no interest and I don't have to pay a penny until I've paid my own debts first.

It's a massive milestone and I actually feel like I've turned a corner. They are doing a bank transfer tonight, it's taking a little while to get the money out of savings account and into current account for transfer. 

The other amazing news is my partner has agreed to meet me on neutral territory for a few drinks tonight in town. Just for a chat. Hopefully at last I'm back living my life again as the last week or so has just been a blur and a mess.

The day started to badly too as I stupidly had a daft bet on the Scottish cups and lost it, so I was so fed up. Now everything feels a bit better again 🙂

Thanks once more for everyone's support 

I hope they are paying the money somewhere you cant get it back again. You should be concerned that you were still stupidly gambling today after what has happened this month. Us gamblers are not ourselves when gambling temptation takes hold. Who knows what stupid things we might do tomorrow.