A Cry Out For Help!

Hey Dazza, welcome back 🙂

You're not worthless, you're an addict & as you said in your 1st visit here, knowing that you aren't alone can help you process some of the pain gambling has bought you. How is your mate, did they stay off?

Getting the gambling (time-money-location) triangle broken is a vital step & if you're worried about lying to your mum (you certainly wouldn't be the 1st person to manipulate your gatekeeper) then why not agree to provide receipts for your spending?

As for the other stuff, always know the Samaritans are on the end of the phone, 116123 & help for gambling is available from GA, your GP maybe & the helpline who can direct you to a counsellor who will help you process who you are & why you do something that seems so crazy even to those of us that live(d) like you do.

It's a huge, sometimes overwhelming, step coming here & holding your hands up saying you can't do it alone but you've done it. You've also found the strength to be honest with those around you & hopefully, they will be able to support you (GamCare can help them too, as can GamAnon meetings if they need real life support from other loved ones) as you start your journey to a better life - ODAAT

Hey ODAAT

Thank you so much for the reply! It takes me alot to swallow my pride and post on something like this, i'm the type of person who you would never guess has problems as such, I hide my addiction well.

My friend had a bad relapse last weekend, his worst to date, but he has been bet free since and he seems more positive than I have seen him after losses previously. Me on the other hand, I dont think i've felt this bad. The stress of money worries has hit me very hard and Im finding it hard to find the positives. I plan to call my GP after work and hopefully I can get help with both my addiction and dealing with stress/anxiety/depression or whatever this feeling is that i feel.

Thanks for your kind words, its reassurring to know someone actually cares enough to post and give me there thoughts. I know i need to move on from this but at the moment i'm having a hard time doing so. Hopefully as the days and weeks pass by I will feel more positive. I'm prepared to take any help thats available to me at this moment in time, because as i have said i dont think I have felt this bad due to gambling before, it really is the last straw.

You're not alone, gambling thrives on secrecy & I was so sneaky with mine I have to keep reminding my husband I am an addict.

If your GP is anything like mine, they may offer medication, will suggest exercise & could tear you off a self referral sheet for CBT therapy that they have printed like a post it. All very valid options but the pills don't stop us gambling, exercise alone doesn't fix depression & the helpline may be able to get you directed counselling sooner. It will feel like the stress is all financially linked & for me, I thought the only way out of my gambling mess was to continue gambling but that's a fallacy! The helpline will be able to give you guidance here & there are charities out there if you are in deep with credit agencies.

There is no miracle cure but try everything you can & find out what works best. This awful feeling that you have currently will pass & you need to ensure you are doing everything you can to make sure this is the last time you feel it. If you're comforted by my caring, it really is worth giving GA a go, the support there is second to none. Pulling up our big boy & girl pants sounds so easy to say but putting it into practise is a whole different ball game...Being open to accepting help will stand you in good stead, willpower alone is not enough to fight this battle. Be proud of the steps you have taken & keep pushing through, you can make this work, I know you can!

Hi,

Perhaps providing receipts for any money you are given may help. Plus if you dont provide them you dont get cash next time.

Could be viewed as childish or tough live. My wife did this to me and it worked.

Best wishes

Hi Dazza :)).

I feel for you mate I really do and know only too well those feelings of suicide being the only way out , in fact looking at your original joining date for the forum we joined within weeks of each other and at that time I was in exactly the same place with these same feeling's.

Youv'e already had some great advice from Odaat and Bal so I'll not go over old ground . I think the hard bit your struggling with is letting go of gambling , it's that fear of the unknown beyond something that's been such a huge part of your life for so long but it's one of the main things that drags us back time and again . As gamblers we don't like to lose because it means funds dry up and we have to start hunting for credit in some form to keep ourselves active , which then leads usually to spiraling debt, adding even more anxiety as we try and gamble our way out of trouble .

I also think that's true of letting go of our losses when we decide enough is enough and it took me many year's of trying before I finally decided that for once I wasn't going to chase my losses any longer , I allowed gambling to win and for the first time happily admitted that I was never going to beat the odds no matter what .

If you can find strength to accept to it's beat you and let go of it all , then you can move forward my friend , everything is doable and sortable , it just takes time but believe me life will improve so much without gambling in it :))

Wishing you well in your fight :))

Alan