So this week started off very well just over a week of not gambling, as the week went on i felt lower and lower and decided to have a little bet, i won a nice amount for myself but didnt feel any joy or happiness, then came Thursday i was snappy and short with everyone and was in a right strange mood.. i knew i couldnt bet on the horses or anythin as i told myself the 1 bet was the only one i was having. So i went to the shop and bought a scratchcard.. i lost.. so i got another.. and another until i had lost nearly £40.. this for some reason made me feel happy and feel better ( i no its not right is it?) This led me to talk to netline again and made realise something.. i gamble as a way of self harming myself i no i cant physically hurt myself and i wouldn't want to. But losing money i havnt got hurts me more than anything would so i have booked into the doctors again to sort out my depression which seems to be back after about 14 months off the pills. Lets hope this realisation will help me in my quest to eventually leave gambling behind me 🙂
Hey Brownie
Sounds like although you had a negative part, on the whole the week was great in that you learnt something about yourself - it's all about the self discovery eh haha
Yeah elise sadly its about discovery but often a little late lol, this week started tough after 4 years of fighting to keep my marriage together its sadly for many reasons ended but i just have to get on with stuff and focus on things to not slip back into old ways
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