Advice on how to stay stopped

Sorry to hear that you keep relapsing in your endeavour to stop gambling. Obviously, its quite easy to refrain from gambling when you have no funds, but the real test comes when you do have access to money.

I believe that the will to stop has to come from the heart, but also you will need restrictions in place and support from others.

Some helpful tools might be: Blocking software, financial spending accountability, self-exclusion, new hobbies and support groups such as GA.

Ring the special number that blocks all bookies in your area.

Hi there :)).

I think the answers in part of your question , the bit about being " Bored " when you have fund's ? .

If giving up gambling is what you want for the long term , it's about changing your life with new challenges and new hobbies in fact doing anything really that allows you no time to become bored .

I wouldn't class myself as a long termer on here but I've not gambled in nearly 2 yrs and initially I just kept myself so busy that I left no time to nip off to the bookies for a sly punt .

If true change is what you want then in my opinion it has to come from within and as the saying goes on here " Nothing changes if nothing changes " and that includes you and your life :))

Hello Svesper

Find a new hobby? There's a million and one things you could do from preventing you getting bored.

It's important to change your outlook, ok you may get bored but will gambling again and eventually losing then having to tell your family you relapsed again would that be worth it? This was drive for me enough i hated coming clean the first time round and I sure as s*** don't want to do it again.

Good luck pal.

Conradnose

check out my blog www.conradnose.com

I also have the same problem I have relapsed again.. I do well for a few months not thinking about it and just try keeping my mind occupied finding others interests or being more productive at home to take the strain off my girlfriend.. but sure enough something's takes over me and I relapse and it'sits worst feeling possible.. telling my girlfiend everything the first time was hard enough let alone having to keep telling her that I've screwed up again. The heartbreak is unbearable but I still continue to do it. I keep thinking about hypnotherapy, has anyone tried this??

Hi

The critical part is if you are living the real recovery or test. If the blocks are weak and access to cash is easy, relapses will happen. There is no room for half measures and Im afraid thats its all in or nothing. Stopping for a month with wide open access to gambling is not any test. Ive been there so I dont want to sound too harsh but the truth is that the addiction will fool us and seize any opportunity when we feel vunerable

Willpower in any form will not do it alone. Monitoring of bank statements and proper blocks will really help. I have self excluded from all the arcades and bookies in a wide radius. My loved ones monitor my bank statements and I know not to walk around feeling aimless with say £100 cash in my pocket. I avoid pubs with any machine and have moved to smaller micro pubs with no machines where I can relax. I dont mind paying a bit more for a pint because I avoid miserly behaviour which used to trigger trying to win the cost back. I keep transactions on my cards and any cash withdrawals need to be explained.

I have no overdraft facility and a very low credit card limit which is also monitored. I find a credit card handy if used sensibly and its paid off every month or within a couple of months. Crucially the limit is backed up by savings held elsewhere so in essence thats no risk of debt borrowing. Thats a crucial point because it makes sense as I have been a compulsive gambler. Any time they try and raise the limit I refer it and we cancel it.

I regularly confirm the rent is paid and the status of my finances. Its not about being treated like a baby. I want it this way because I have been a gambler for forty years

I will gladly accept that I have to prove any trust again because its far preferable to thinking I can handle it alone and becoming too complacent.

Thats how its done long term. when I wasnt doing it properly I was relapsing every month, every time I was flush and eventually every six days because the addiction was actually convincing me I had been a good boy for five days and could have a gamble.

Its a strong deadly form of addiction and it needs to be treated with the fear and respect it deserves.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

I agree with what has been written. I think as "joydivider" has said... accountability is key. If I put blocks in place BUT I am only accountable to myself then i am much more likely to relapse. I can always get around my own blocks because I am an addict and I always leave a potential door open however small.

Having your bank statement scrutinised is a good thing. Knowing that you WILL be found out can be a good motivator not to do the deed. Having to explain cash withdrawals and financial transactions is a good thing.

Staying stopped by

Keep doing positive things, however small.