Amounts

For my opinion, if you have to mention how much you have lost you haven't lost enough.

I get fed up seeing all the headline stories about losing this and losing that when the real loss is what people lose in themselves.

How can you put a price on losing a family because of your gambling? How about the feeling of being made homeless because you can't pay the rent or mortgage because you've gambled it away? How much is losing every friend you had because of gambling worth? There are so many examples of the cost to gambling that isn't in pound notes but in far greater sums.

The other thing about mentioning monetary amounts is it becomes a competition. Our egos want to be bigger or worse than the next person. I've gambled more, I've won/lost more, I'm not as bad so I can carry on. 

We should talk about our feelings, not our losses.

How about this for a figure. How much have I lost? Everything. How did I feel? Devastated.

Chris

Hi lou, I wouldn't say that I find the posts triggering but they do make me feel uncomfortable and anxious so probably in a way triggering because it does make me think about gambling although I wouldn't act on it. Also what Chris said it is like a competition with people who lose the most thinking they are the worst affected. Everything I've read about this addiction and what I've learnt at GA is that it's the behaviour of compulsive gambling and the things that go hand in hand with it are the severity of the condition not amounts of money. Anyway how do we know they are telling the truth being as compulsive gamblers have .....also a compulsion to lie. I think that the person who gambled on even when they knew that their loved ones would leave if found out again is worse affected but as in everything else on here just my opinion !! And amounts of money are relevant to the person aren't they £5 a day to a state pensioner would be an amount of money that would cause massive harm, to say a bank manager that would be nothing !! Once again guys this is all good for thought, made me think which is always a good thing !!

Speaking as someone on the receiving end of this addiction, the only loss I care about is the loss of the man I thought I had married.  

Of course, there is a part of me that reads about people losing smaller amounts and me thinking "count yourself lucky, it could have been..."

But I appreciate everyone is different and what matters to one means a lot less to another.  

My children nearly lost their father to it.  I have no idea who I've been married to for the past 13 years.  

All I hope to gain is understanding and the ability to forgive.  That's worth more than anything to me right now.

I don’t think anyone should read into amounts. You can spend £5 everyday or £500 everyday gambling. It doesn’t necessarily mean someone who gambles £5 a day isn’t a gambling addict just because they bet minimal. That’s like someone who smokes 5 a day or 50 a day, both people may consider themselves addicted to smoking. I think a problem gambler is someone who bets frequently regardless of amount, those who bet bigger have a larger gambling problem.

Yes its not particularly helpful to others and it has to be carefully moderated.

However I think somebody should be allowed to mention an amount thats important to them as I believe its about facing that amount and even writing it down. Its a difficult one though and Im sure the moderators are aware of it

I understand what you mean about triggers Lou and thats something you have to talk through. Its the same addiction relative to us all. I would have gambled more if I had access to more.

I think there is a case to be made that seeing the inequality of wealth adds to the trigger points and fuels the addiction.

I once made the mistake decades ago of thinking I was a lightweight gambler compared to others but it still left me fishing mouldy old bacon out of the bin (disgusting when I think about it now) and making me homeless. All that matters is the amount that destroyed me.

I have to mention that millionaires fall for this addiction and I often wonder how much more I would have gambled if I had it.

It doesnt bother or upset me now what amounts are mentioned. It does bother me when somebody goes into lots of detail about a gambling session because its not really needed.

I know what you mean though, when the gambling urges were strong in me, early in recovery an amount especially a larger amount would make me feel a surge of gambling chemicals in my bloodstream. I will be honest in that I felt quite jealous of some of the salaries mentioned and even amounts gambled.

That was essentially down to me though....I dont earn those amounts so what am I going to do about it. Gambling is not the answer to what I was seeking and it certainly is not an income scheme.

You have a point though but I dont think the moderators can censor everything about money amounts.

Best wishes

Thankyou all for your replies and thoughts on this topic ive read through them all and agree a lot with what your all saying.

Chris summed it up well its about how the gambling and loss effects the individual rather than the amounts gambled. 

Lou x