so back on day 1 again , got really depressed last week which led to me losing £300 at online poker, I have betfilter installed on my laptop but it still allowed me to download a poker site and play on an account that should be self excluded. I had previously gone 69 days gf and had no thoughts of relapsing, however a week moping around the house built up to it and now I'm more depressed than before. Hey ho life's a b**h.
Don,t worry mate as 300 is nothing compared to what I lost and many others! I lost 2500 In one day and next month 1700 and a 1400 two weeks later! Crazy amounts I know so stop before it gets that bad! Just say to yourself that 300 you lost was a blessing in disguise to teach you a lesson!
Hi John,
Sorry to hear about the bad week then where it took you. Not good and probably good that you're hurting. Take confidence in yourself on what you achieved in the 69 days prior to the poker session. You can do that 69 days again and beat it next time. You've already said a "week moping around the house" so you already know a trigger so next time you'll know you need to address this situation. In the early days of my recovery if I was heading to a bad place I remember taking a day off work on a couple of occasions and I just walked and walked, I took a pen and paper and wrote down what was going on in my head. On one occasion I wrote a poem! Now I have the option of 2 GA meetings a week to keep my recovery ticking over.
One day at a time..... The £300 is lost, gone, that's in the past. Don't chase, you know where it went wrong. Tomorrow you won't bet, then day 2 will be on you before you know it.
Wishing you all the best, Shep.
Well I've just lost another £1500 odd at the weekend. Fml. I'm getting a £5k tax rebate tomorrow hopefully that won't end up as gambling tokens ......
I've managed to abstain for 180 days and then 70 days this year but I've just worked out that I've lost 5 grand in the days that I've gambled this year . ..... I feel sick !!!!!
That's it from today I won't be gambling or even talking about gambling I'm done...
Hi John
Feel for you - we have all been there. I am just a week into this, but taking a day at a time.
Everytime you get the urge, remember the way you feel now. The sickness and emptiness inside, think about what will really happen if you do gamble. More times then not, you lose. Keep what you have and class it as a win. If you have a spare few quid, go on ebay buy and sell a few items, try and keep yourself occupied and you get as much buzz out of making £20 on a sell as you do on a gambling site.
I have spent hours on this site this week - reading other peoples diary, understanding how important it is to remove any temptation. Acknokledging that gambling is not a quick fix out of my financial position - rather the cause of it.
If this 5k is the turning point, it will be the best money you have ever spent - i promise you that.
Keep you chin up and dont let anyone else take your hard earnt money
Good luck on your journey
They have blocked out an extremely popular online auction site for some reason!
Well done on your 100 days, stay strong and positive, don't give in to the urges, x
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