Hi everyone,
I've been a problem gambler for several years now and have lost around 20k before or amounts close to that a few times but a few weeks ago I struck really lucky and on one spin on a live wheel game I got a multiplier on a bet winning. My balance after the win was nearing a large amount as I'd built up several thousands from smaller wins over the preceding days. I thought to myself "This is it, this is life-changing money now, I can't mess things up this time." This mindset was strong for a day or two then I got into the habit I always manage to seep back into where I kept playing and chasing smaller losses after bad betting runs and chasing these resulted in bigger losses where I then started doubling down and continued to have bad luck until I was down to just a few thousand in my balance which I panicked and withdrew but later lost that on another site a few days after.
I know this is probably a familiar story for some of you but I feel so confused, bitter and ashamed in retrospect. I promised myself things would be different but they never are. This time I am grieving more than ever though, thinking of all those debts I could've paid off and all the nice things I could've done with the money. It's like I don't even recognise the recklessness and foolishness of the person who was placing these bets and chasing these losses. This time feels particularly awful as it's the biggest win single win and largest overall balance I've ever accumulated and now it's nothing.
I'm angry at the loss but also grieving the fact I can't gamble for a while as there's nothing left to gamble with when I could've had so much to play with if I'd kept to smaller bets. I know this is a weird paradox but I am angry at the losses but also that there's nothing left to withdraw, or gamble again. There's just nothing now.
Even when the hosts on these games do what I consider 'bad' spins, it didn't used to bother me that much but now I find myself so angry at them and blame them. I also blame the so-called 'Responsible Gambling' team on the gambling operators website who suspended my account when I lost a few hundred but did nothing when I lost almost all within about an hour. I'm angry at everyone who I see as playing a part in enabling this but also myself, of course.
I don't really know if I have a question or I'm just venting but I am curious to know how to approach such a large loss? I suppose in a way I am one of the 'lucky ones' in that the losses were mostly winnings and only a few thousand was my own but it doesn't make it much easier to accept.
Thanks in advance and I hope this wasn't too triggering for anyone.
I think firstly you need to recognise that you have an extremely warped perception of money and finance
Most gamblers who are in deep I dont think really even recognise money as money but rather just tokens and amounts used to facilitate that gambling lifestyle
Given the stage at which you are at the actual amount means very little it could be 100K in the hole it wouldn't change your situation because you have no concept left of the value for money
In a few years once you have beaten it you will then come to see the pointlessness in it all
Your story is not unfamiliar Britain has a serious problem with gambling at the moment wether its sports , racing , online , casinos
As a society we are obsessed with the idea of making a quick buck
I am in a football WhatsApp group who love to place bets these are grown men with families dreaming about winning half a million on a football accumulator some of them are betting 15 hours a day looking for " value "
Ive tried explaining gambling is not not there for them to profit off but Its like talking to a brick wall all they want to do is bet and dream
Forget about the money aspect its all psychological work on your mindset , you can worry about the money later it always comes and goes in life anyway
I have been there. I am you. The problem is we are so obsessed with money at the height of our addiction it’s all we can think about. The problem affects many of us thinking it’s easy to make quick money when the reality is too harsh to face that we have to work hard for our money. That’s real. This is sunk cost fallacy, you have not lost £40k, you have lost a couple of thousand of your own money. But if you continue it will be worst, you will be like me £49k in debt. Won 3 life changing jackpots and gave it back all to the casino in days. Why? Because the dopamine in your brain is wanting to get that feeling of winning again but it’s never enough… you keep wanting more. Money is numbers and numbers are infinite - so you cannot stop. I am 2 months gamble free and it is a really good feeling not having to go thru the ups and downs. Count yourself lucky you have not lost everything and in debt. Some of us here have lost everything. Take recovery seriously and slowly day by day you will see the good it brings- your mental wellbeing and enjoying the simple things. It’s hard the first few weeks but it gets better. What helped me most my is reading the Minimalists blog or watch the documentary Mininalism less is now on Netflix- I’ve realised we don’t need a lot of these material things we dream of, life is much more than that. You can do this! Change your mindset, stay off gambling and everything will fall in place
Yes similar story here, the pattern just repeats, cold turkey is the only way.
good luck and stay strong before you know it this will be a distant memory.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
