Coming clean

I have no advice, I'm two days into this as the partner of a man who got found out yday. All I can tell you is that one of the many things I have felt since finding out is relief. Now I understand why he's been so horrible the last year or two. Now I understand why he's always skint. Now I understand why he's slid into a deep depression. I was thinking all of this was just because he has become a total w****r. But now I know what's been happening. 

Another thing I have felt is a massive sadness and compassion for him. I'm now in all his accounts and I can see what's been happening, plus he's told me a lot, I don't know if he's told me everything but it feels like it (although I know not to fully trust him). I feel very sad for what he's been going through. The anxiety, the shame, the panic, the depression, the self hatred, the lack of control, the poverty. I also feel v sad for myself of course. 

Maybe I do have advice and it's this: TELL HIM. 

Hello anxious58.

I would certainly have the conversation, however be clear with what you will say rather than the conversation from your side going all over the place. The conversation should be with a view to stopping and getting help and support to stop, you have already started to get support by coming on this site.

Avoid discussing with too many people because it can make things worse.

Hope that helps.