Hi all,
I know this is going to be the standard cliche post but I'm a compulsive gambler and I need to stop.
I am 22 years old and living a very unfulfilled life currently and for the most part feel emotionally unstable. I am blessed with a wonderful family with amazing parents and a wonderful sister which I honestly hold close to my heart and they are the world to me. All I want in life is to make them proud. BUT I have this underlying problem, I'm a compulsive gambler. This has turned me into a liar and sometimes a very unpleasant person. I finally recognise gambling as something that effectively 'Steals from me, toys with my emotional feelings, and in the end could destroy my whole family and friends around me'. Recent gambling has made me feel suicidal, but that's more for the reason of guilt and feeling that I have let my parents down. I am not in debt which is a positive sign but don't feel in control of this addiction so something has to be done.
I used to gamble from 17 through until about 21 where I seeked help and gave up for 6 months. I then and currently still do now partake in my internship year as part of university. I am currently undertaking a sales role with Microsoft which I am enjoying but missing home a lot. My parents within my time of gambling caught me and were very emotionally upset as it has a history of running through other siblings such as my Uncle. I did make a promise commenting I wouldn't gamble again as of which I have broken which makes me feel physically sick. I want to try and quit this alone as I feel I honestly have the mental capacity to do so and would really like the support of you guys. I feel with the right support and correct barriers and mental correction put in place, these barriers can be overcome.
I know I'm in the wrong and this HAS to stop. I need help before it's too late.
Thanks,
Andy
Content removed by Forum Admin.
Hi Robert,
I have nothing to hide anymore because of my stupidity. For people to honestly understand what I am going through then I think it's always important to be as open as possible.
I really appreciate the kind words. I like to regard myself as kind and caring but honestly gambling has turned me into an individual that is far from caring putting my greed and monetary desires before the most important people to me such as my family.
I am currently in an emotional rollercoaster and seriously need help regarding that. Guilt is beyond belief and my parents deserve a son a lot better than myself I know that. I'm incredibly insecure, I don't really have anyone to speak to regarding my issues so these are locked up inside of me and pour out as a cry for help really.
I'm completely to blame for this, my choices, my problem and now hopefully my recovery. It's my fault that I developed this addiction and now it's my objective to get out with any help that can be thrown my way which believe me I wholeheartedly appreciate. I do feel isolated at times and really I need help. I really want to offer a hand to others as well. It would mean the world to me if I could support others in my time of despair to either help them in their recovery plans or try to pre-warn individuals about the disastrous effects that gambling can have on their and others lives.
I really appreciate you reaching out to me and would gratefully welcome the support along my recovery and welcome any advice or support that you or any peers may be able to provide me with. When I say, you're a life saver, I mean this in more ways than one. I'm beaten down but not defeated. Much appreciated.
Andy
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
