Purely a post to express my feelings before you read on, there is no purpose to it really... Just a thought diary of my own I guess...
But yeah... It is my second post within a week. I surrender. I throw in the towel and I am not prepared to be fool to the devil I once beat for 323 days.
So yep, it’s been a hard hitting relapse where I have tripped up and gambled compulsively to no end losing around £4k and my dignity in the process.
All my family know the extent of it and I have a clear ‘roadmap’ as to what’s going to be different this time. Spoke with family this evening who have supported me morally and emotionally as well as covering me financially to pay bills.
I cut up my debit card (cutting all access to cash) and GamCare have referred me for 1 to 1 counselling (thank you!). I appreciate there is no magic in the counselling but on top of the steps I already have in place plus my new measures I have put into place this evening, I am hopeful I can be gamble-free again.
Gamstop, Gamban, Debit Card/Apple Pay gambling restrictions, Transfer salary to my Mrs every month, Cut up my debit card today and started the road to counselling today too.
Just want to say thanks to Gamcare advisors for helping me and DAY 1 begins tomorrow.Â
Wow u don't hear that many positive steps on a first post that often!!!! The one I really like is that you've been honest with everyone close to you..... That will all go a long way...All the best AdamÂ
You've taken all the right steps. You were honest, asked for help and restricted access to cash. The next few days and weeks will be touch. Stressful and exhausting. But the most important thing is to continue being open and honest. Addiction thrives in the darkness, so keep it in the open with the people you trust.
All the best.
Thanks Adam and Mr L... Your replies were both around being Open and Honest. Makes sense and I actually feel great today knowing I physically cannot gamble without a debit card that I cut up. I missed a trick I think all these years I have been gambling! But yeah, maybe all those other times perhaps I wasn’t actually ready to stop?Â
Who knows, but what I do know is I am going to beat my gamble-free duration this time. Dead certain on it!
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