Hi all,
New user here. I am 23 but have had a problem gambling problem for a number of years now. It only started getting VERY serious around September 2015. Since then, I have gone into a spiral of debt worth around 10k and I am constantly hitting rock bottom after my pay cheque.
Most recently at the end of January I recieved my paycheque, paid off some debts and then resulted in losing 900 pounds in a 15 minute session at my local bookies.
Why do I constantly do this, when I have been in this situation before? I mean, the entire of January I was constantly waiting for payday, because I was penniless the whole month, kept having to make excuses not to meet friends, on occasion couldnt even afford travel to get to work as well as food. Now I am at the start of February in the same situation, with obviously nothing learnt.
I fear the same thing may happen at the end of February.
Least you have come here love...that's a start....ring gamcare...they helped me so much....only 20 odd days for me not gambling ...so still a newbie...and still very at risk ...but I've blocked all sites so I can't play....recovery is yours for the taking...but you've got to want it...and get things in place to help you...good luck love xx
I am 24 and find my story very similar to the above. Payday after payday is used to pay debts accrued from gambling losses, often lose my rent money and have to rely on my family to bail me out. I am told that your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life. Friendships and relationships have fallen victim, as has my health and comfort zone. I too seem to be unable to learn month after month, I exclude myself from online websites and find myself trying everything in my power to work around these exclusions. Chasing losses on sports betting is my weakness, no matter how much I may win, I will try to accumulate more and more, end up losing what I had, and then end up losing what else I've got in trying to win back what I won initially. It's a vicious cycle that I know will never end favourably, however can't seem to get that to actually sink in. I require some kind of help.
LT21 wrote:
I am 24 and find my story very similar to the above. Payday after payday is used to pay debts accrued from gambling losses, often lose my rent money and have to rely on my family to bail me out. I am told that your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life. Friendships and relationships have fallen victim, as has my health and comfort zone. I too seem to be unable to learn month after month, I exclude myself from online websites and find myself trying everything in my power to work around these exclusions. Chasing losses on sports betting is my weakness, no matter how much I may win, I will try to accumulate more and more, end up losing what I had, and then end up losing what else I've got in trying to win back what I won initially. It's a vicious cycle that I know will never end favourably, however can't seem to get that to actually sink in. I require some kind of help.
I feel your pain 100%. I know exactly what you are going through. In my occasion its not sports betting, but roulette FOBTs. I've managed to exclude myself through online gambling but that's just pushed me towards local bookies - which - in my opinion - is a lot worse. If I've lost a grand I will put my last £200 in despite knowing that's all I have left because my mind is telling me that "if I double it to £400 its better than £200". Every time that happens, it always ends with me hitting rock bottom, and then maybe taking a payday loan out to help me survive for the rest of the month, which half of it will go back into gambling and the rest of it will be used for basic necessities... what a pitful, vicious cycle it is.
Keep your head up, we can both get out of it, but we need to do it now. As you said we are young and we wont be in our 20s forever. We need to be enjoying ourselves/saving, not throwing money away to these rich bookmakers. As I have no money to gamble this month I will most liekly be 20 days cold turkey before my next paycheque, I hope that will serve as a stepping stone to not gamble.
I have been reading a lot on what scientists say about addiction. Not just gambling addiction, but any addiction in general. A lot of it is to do with our surroundings, in terms of the state of our lives, our enviornment and relationships. Gambling is a form of escapism which all of us use to get away from that. It is why we keep going back. In order not to go back, we need to change something in our everyday lives... whether thats taking up a hobby, relocating or whatever. If you keep the circumstances the same every month, chances are the same results (i.e. hitting rock bottom) will occur every month.
It's easier for me to type this than actually eat my own words in real life. I'll just have to see what happens.
Loxxie wrote: Least you have come here love...that's a start....ring gamcare...they helped me so much....only 20 odd days for me not gambling ...so still a newbie...and still very at risk ...but I've blocked all sites so I can't play....recovery is yours for the taking...but you've got to want it...and get things in place to help you...good luck love xx
Hey, thanks for your reply and your kind words, hope you keep strong in your recovery.
I lost a months wages on Saturday and was practically in a gambling frenzy. I went home and cried. I've lost big money before but this time it was different. I physically felt sick to my core. I decided enough was enough. Money is too hard earned to be lost to a bookie. Time for a change. Time to beat this. You are not alone. There are plenty of us struggling with this. Together hopefully we can beat this for good.
lostitall wrote:
[quote=LT21]
I am 24 and find my story very similar to the above. Payday after payday is used to pay debts accrued from gambling losses, often lose my rent money and have to rely on my family to bail me out. I am told that your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life. Friendships and relationships have fallen victim, as has my health and comfort zone. I too seem to be unable to learn month after month, I exclude myself from online websites and find myself trying everything in my power to work around these exclusions. Chasing losses on sports betting is my weakness, no matter how much I may win, I will try to accumulate more and more, end up losing what I had, and then end up losing what else I've got in trying to win back what I won initially. It's a vicious cycle that I know will never end favourably, however can't seem to get that to actually sink in. I require some kind of help.
I feel your pain 100%. I know exactly what you are going through. In my occasion its not sports betting, but roulette FOBTs. I've managed to exclude myself through online gambling but that's just pushed me towards local bookies - which - in my opinion - is a lot worse. If I've lost a grand I will put my last £200 in despite knowing that's all I have left because my mind is telling me that "if I double it to £400 its better than £200". Every time that happens, it always ends with me hitting rock bottom, and then maybe taking a payday loan out to help me survive for the rest of the month, which half of it will go back into gambling and the rest of it will be used for basic necessities... what a pitful, vicious cycle it is.
Keep your head up, we can both get out of it, but we need to do it now. As you said we are young and we wont be in our 20s forever. We need to be enjoying ourselves/saving, not throwing money away to these rich bookmakers. As I have no money to gamble this month I will most liekly be 20 days cold turkey before my next paycheque, I hope that will serve as a stepping stone to not gamble.
I have been reading a lot on what scientists say about addiction. Not just gambling addiction, but any addiction in general. A lot of it is to do with our surroundings, in terms of the state of our lives, our enviornment and relationships. Gambling is a form of escapism which all of us use to get away from that. It is why we keep going back. In order not to go back, we need to change something in our everyday lives... whether thats taking up a hobby, relocating or whatever. If you keep the circumstances the same every month, chances are the same results (i.e. hitting rock bottom) will occur every month.
It's easier for me to type this than actually eat my own words in real life. I'll just have to see what happens.
Everything you have said there is identical to myself. Although I now cannot actually get a payday loan due to my credit score being awfully low. It has affected my health to the point where I can't sleep at night without prescribed drugs and its twice as hard to get up in the morning due to what I can only assume is my conscience. I have 17 days until payday and have £200 left on a credit card to my name. I cannot afford my rent which is due in a week.
I agree entirely with you that gambling addiction is a form of escapism, I've believed this myself for ages as it makes complete sense. I realise that the most important thing in my life is what sport is on, what sport is there tonight, what sport is on throughout the day, this starts at 4pm, this is on at 9pm etc, end up betting throughout the day and more often than not losing. Instead, I should be thinking what can I save up for, where could me and my friends go out etc etc.
The escapism has taken over my life, a few years ago I was not enjoying my sitation and found some sort of solitary enjoyment by getting home from work and simply watching and betting on sport until falling asleep, to the point where I ended up rushing home in order to not miss any action or watching sport on my phone on my commute home. This isn't how it should be but it is now the way I seem to live my life, it is almost engrained in me that my first interest when I wake up is 'what does today's sport look like?'
You are right, it has to change, and we are not getting any younger, I find myself thinking I have absolutely nothing to show for the past 5 years of my life apart from an ever-growing list of debtors and a poor credit score.
Much easier to sit here and type over taking the necessary action however. On current form I will find myself in the same situation in a month's time. But it is reassuring if not encouraging to know that I am not the only person in their 20s feeling this way.
This is my problem. I go cold turkey. I don't gamble and think I've cracked it. Then I lose 300 quid on half a dozen races and I'm in despair. Why? Because I chase. And my family and kids depend on my wages. How do I stop it?
I feel you! I'm 22 and have been in your cycle for a couple of years. I even recently sold a really centimental rolex watch to stay afloat. I told my parents the other day and my sister. They have been really supportive and for the first time I truly feel like I can beat my gambling addiction. My sister now receives my wages and rations me out money as and when I need it. It's only temporary but it is really working because I simply don't have the money at my disposal to gamble. If you have anyone in your life that could do this I really recommend you try it. If you don't think your family would be supportive, maybe ask a close friend. Good luck staying clean of gambling buddy. Let's do it together
I gave my last month's salary to my Father to then disperse to me when needed, gave him a list of my outgoings and dates too, still found myself receiving the money being rationed on the right days and still trying to roll it over, missed payments, accrued fees etc. I'm now 3 days without gambling, whilst I should be feeling better the main issue with gambling is that the negative effects are long-lasting. If anything I'm more stressed thinking about the financial mess I am in added to the fact I have zero funds that I could potentially rectify the situation with through gambling and winning.
Hi Lego1993,
Thanks for your advice.
Recently done the same thing again. Have self excluded now. The difficult thing for me is I love sport, and when I'm.watching sport, I fancy a flutter, and off we go again. I'm determined this time to cool off. Hope you're ok?
lostitall wrote:
Hi all,
New user here. I am 23 but have had a problem gambling problem for a number of years now. It only started getting VERY serious around September 2015. Since then, I have gone into a spiral of debt worth around 10k and I am constantly hitting rock bottom after my pay cheque.
Most recently at the end of January I recieved my paycheque, paid off some debts and then resulted in losing 900 pounds in a 15 minute session at my local bookies.
Why do I constantly do this, when I have been in this situation before? I mean, the entire of January I was constantly waiting for payday, because I was penniless the whole month, kept having to make excuses not to meet friends, on occasion couldnt even afford travel to get to work as well as food. Now I am at the start of February in the same situation, with obviously nothing learnt.
I fear the same thing may happen at the end of February.
Hi
Its because you are at the stage where you know you should stop but the controlling part of your mind is not ready to stop. Its like the mind has a healthy and an addicted side but you are confused which side is actually controlling you
Its a complex process of getting you and your life back. Its about having the strength to tell someone close and walk in to the bookies to self exclude.
Thats the deadly side of an addiction. All the pain and the lows are put aside and in a click of the fingers you are gambling again. The addiction of wanting the highs of playing overrides everthing else.
Soooo I have to say that if you dont block you will be gambling every payday. Its an addiction so powerful that it will dismiss that last feeling of extinction. It will dismiss sitting in a darkened room eating beans on toast for a month, it will dismiss the relationships lost and girlfriends walking out just so it can get its next fix now.
The addiction doesnt care if you lose all your money, go bankrupt or end up on the streets. Only when you return to reality and pat your empty pockets, do you realise its a dangerous and destructive illness. An addiction takes you away from reality fast
Im deadly serious here. You need to keep talking it through on the forum and you need the phoenix moment of walking into that bookies and saying I want to self exclude because I dont want to gamble anymore...if you see me from now on please escort me out immediately.
Its easy setting the blocks once you have made up your mind to tackle this properly
Willpower is NOT enough! Having no money left to gamble is NOT the test. You must self exclude and have people close monitor and control your money
Please keep using the forum. Its a deadly addiction which completely ruins people
Focus on what gambling has done to you and of course its the right decision that you must stop immediately
keep talking it through.
Best wishes
Ok, hate to break it to you guys but what you are descibing are not ''rock bottoms'' they are just lows, and while gambling is in your life that addiction will lie to you and tell you ''it wasn't that bad' ''this time it will be different'' ..I am in control etc
Rock bottom? well the thing is these things have trap doors so you can always go lower
Lost all your money for the month, can't afford to eat, travel, pay bills rock bottom ..no how about doing the same the next month and getting a payday loan you can't pay back rock bottom? No....how about next month stealing/conning money out of people ..rock bottom?...no how about doing the same next month, getting caught for stealing and getting a criminal record..rock bottom now? ..No same next month, now lost friends, family relatioships etc, stole from your employer to pay debts/fund your gambling ..rock bottom..not quite, do similar this month, go to prison or commit a worse crime due to the stress etc..rock bottom...nah not yet, more trap doors
The rock bottom is probably when you lose all friends,family,money,house,business and end up on the streets with nothing begging for pennies, don't wait for that 'rock bottom'' you can always go lower and probably will.
Get help. go to GA this is a serious problem and can kill you, don't fool yourself, it can and will take everything if you let it
I have a problem with gambling. I'm really struggling with accepting my losses. Today, I found an ebook on Amazon and I think it could help me so I want to recommend it to others. It's called "How to quit gambling and have a brighter future" by CB Reuben. I don't know if it will work, but it's really short (just a few pages) and easy to read and I felt more upbeat after reading it. It has some very good advice about channeling the energy from gambling into something more positve.
I hope it helps, worth giving it a go I guess
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