Day 41 and First Big Test

And so far I'm passing the test. Before 3rd August this year I'd bet on nearly every single horse race in the UK and Ireland. And then France and the US. When I stopped I seriously worried about what I'd do to fill the void. I wanted to keep in touch with horse racing and know what was going on. The timing was kind to me as I didn't 'miss' many big meetings or races in August.

And now here we are on St Leger day - what would normally be a big day for me, plus the start of the football season. Do I still think about it - yes. Do I still want to place bets ever again - no I don't think I do now.

The measures I've taken mean it's impossible for me to now place a bet without ending my marriage. So slowly I'm getting used to life without gambling, and it's way, way better.

So will I watch the big race today? No I won't. I may see the result in the news or on social media, but curiosity aside it's not part of my life now. I read more. I've reconnected with a sport I love (NFL) which thankfully doesn't have any relationship with betting for me. I play the odd puzzle game on my phone. I feel happier, and mentally much healthier.

41 days seems quick to untrain my brain from the habitual, daily betting so I know I'm not there yet. But every day I think about it less and less. Maybe one day I won't think about it at all.

I'd like to thank everyone who has posted on this forum as reading a wide variety of thoughts and opinions has been vital to my recovery. 

Not there yet, but definitely making good progress.

I wish everyone well.

SJ