Did it again... Losing my mind

How did you do the gambling?

Hi... Sorry to hear about what has happened.

Practical barriers is what is needed as soon as possible. Register with gamstop today!! That will stop you gambling online. If you have studied gambling addiction you know what comes next. Put that remaining money you have out of reach. You know how powerful the compulsion is.

Be good to yourself and do what needs to be done.

I gambled on slots. And here is the sick part... I gambled 90% of this on ONE slot. All other slots, BJ, roulette and so on are boring to me. It really is. Its just this one slot that has me everytime i go back...

I cant register with gamstop. Its only for UK residents. Im really envyous for people who can register...

Hi Lowsx100,

For what its worth your not alone. I have a long history of getting obsessed with particular slots.. to the point of only playing particular slots games for weeks or months on end. Your not the only one that does that. I have repeated the madness on and off for many years. 

A real shame about not being able to take advantage of Gamstop. So its self-exclusions and blocking software and seeing whether you can get your bank to block gambling transactions but most of all its putting that lump of money out of reach.

The thing is, do something, don't just rely on your will power. Its not enough. You know this.

Thoughts are with you buddy

Just for today.

i was in a similar boat to you 2 weeks ago 

due to working from home and cabin fever i got caught cold ended up watching some you-tubes of gambling and next thing id found a site and was playing live blackjack 

lost £350 in a few hours i had more funds available in my bank account  but like you i decided whatever i did next i was going to lose,  so i called it a day and banned myself from the site 

i have had many thoughts about depositing again on another site over the last 2 weeks however reading stories like this makes me realise im just going to lose again 

as for falling into the trap ,  theres an old saying that goes the devil makes work for idle hands and this is especially true when it comes to gambling 

keep yourself busy and the urges will die down 

I really abhor gambling. Have no will to gamble now. Need something to get over my losses and this hopeless feeling. Feel quite broken. I have been there so many times, on and off. Feel optimistic deep down, but its the d**n feeling of dissapointment that I went back...

Hello Lowsx100,

Where are you and what type of gambling do you do? Online, casinos, bookmakers?

thanks,

Chris.

The first thing you must realise is that you are not upset about the losses. You only think you are. You would be just as unsettled if you had won because you would still be gambling, still in turmoil. We tell ourselves that we gamble for the money, but that is not necessarily true. It is the act of gambling that is addictive not the winning. Otherwise, we all would have walked away long ago, given that overall, all we have ever done is lose.

The money is just how you pay for your vice. It's how you get your hit. If you win money, you get the hit for longer, though you will still walk away a loser. Try to remember it like this and you will start to see how pointless it is to gamble again because no amount of winning can make you stop and no amount of losing will deter you either. 

You keep going back because your brain still craves the high that you get from gambling. Nothing else quite matches the speed of the hit especially in a slots game. There is no waiting, no delay. Just spin and instant reward/gratification. That's what is so dangerous. That is what the brain demands from this addiction and it is that hit which starts to make you think about going back to gambling, whether you want it or not. The brain most certainly does! And it will try to coerce you into gambling again, sending you the nudge, the notion, the urge to satisfy the brain's demand for dopamine. That's how you end up forgetting that pain and going back for the high.

It's up to you to ignore your thirsty brain and think with your mind, your consciousness. Your brain tells you that you can fly in your dreams, it functions while you are asleep, yet we listen to it when we gamble? Would you trust your brain to do your banking while you sleep? Your brain is trying to guide you to gamble because it is selfish. It is not thinking about you at all. What it gets out of gambling is not the same thing that you get and that's why it is important to think rationally and remember the true outcome of years spent gambling.

Your brain reminds you that gambling feels good and sends you the urge to bet because the brain gets a reward when you gamble, whether you win or whether you lose. This is key to giving up gambling. Whenever you get stressed, feel down, bored or irritable, have an argument, your brain will send you a vibe to gamble because it remembers that it felt better while you were doing that. It's not really trying to help you, it's helping itself. Your brain will get a high out of gambling while you are haemorrhaging thousands. This is because your brain gets a hit with every spin, with every ounce of anticipation. It is not the outcome of the bet that produces the rush so much as the act of doing it. This is why the addicted gambler will sit (and I have done this for 6 hours straight) in a trance, hitting spin repeatedly and depositing more money without even thinking about what he is actually doing.

The dopamine your brain is getting numbs your thought process so that you find it easier to lose money while you are playing....but it's okay because while you are still gambling, still in the zone, you could still win!! Sure, your balance is going down, but you still have money to keep gambling so you haven't really lost yet, so keep spinning and you will get it back.....this is what your brain wants. This is the gambling mentality.

That's the trap right there. you have never really lost until you walk away and that is why you don't really feel the impact of your actions until you stop gambling and return to your senses. It's not because you have run out of cash that you feel down, but because you have stopped gambling. If you had more, you would probably still play on. Still be immersed in the zone. 

Why do you think we are so quick to hit the deposit button when the balance runs out? You can't wait to get back to playing. And down comes your dopamine levels, making you feel absolutely vile after being so high while you were doing it. This makes any win seem even more powerful, especially after a losing streak, further cementing your fate as an addicted gambler.

Money is never won gambling. It's only ever game credits to play. That's what we really want. That's why we can't walk away with a win because the win is not as powerful as time spent gambling.

Hope this helps you unravel your mind and get back on track to being a non gambler.

All the best. 

hi Lowsx100.

You do it because its a drug addiction and a mind control illness. Why does a smoker reach for the next cigarette....why does a problem drinker pour another drink when the doctor has warned them off. Why does a heroin addict get up to source the money for another fix?

Gambling is the least understood of all the addictions but it acts on the body just as a harmful but addictive substance would.

Slots are the crystal meth of gambling. They set up delusion from the word go and they destroy people. You know tehy are not an income scheme...theres no way you can tell me they are an income scheme yet you feel compelled to give it another go.

Oh and breaks are no sign of control if you have left the door wide open. In this low moment, feel a born again moment and surge of pride..phone someone close and tell them...get your money under the control of someone else.

Its a complex addiction but I will simplify it and be blunt to get through to you. You are not in control of your own mind and that should really scare you.

Get help and you can meke this history. However you will be a recovering gambler for the rest of your life and can never be complacent again.

It was your drug of choice. I will tell you anything you need to know about slots...basically they are a mugs game blinding people with chosen themes flashing lights and spinning reels. You have been ignoring the odds and the reality in order to get the fix. 

Youve got ideas of winning have you? How is everybody going to win? we all returned again and again after gambling to extinction

Gamblers walk up to those machines in  a delusional state. Tempation from a cruel and deeply sadistic mistress who wants your attention. Its a honey trap You've lost sight that the gambling dens want your money and they know how to get it

Once hooked you are actually playing to lose...to feel any emotion above numb...to escape..even to punish yourself for troubles in your soul

Its complex which is why you should seek therapy once you have all the blocks in place...Dont focus on gamstop...you need family monitoring and to be living on an allowance....Understand?

If you think that is too awkward you really dont know the power you are dealing with

You need to do the cold turkey properly with all the help you can get. Your life will be much better gamble free

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Thank you for good words. It really resonates with me. I have the same mindset as you guys. I have to come back and read this when I "forget" or when I feel good about myself. But it doesnt happen instantly when I feel good. It can come after the 1000th time i feel good. It is really weird.

I feel like I have lost the desires to gamble because i unravelled the brainwashing and the delusions of gambling. So I guess I come back because I think I can only bet 25 pounds and stop. THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK. I have to get that imprinted in my brain now once and for all.

Thanks guys. Wish you all the best!

Yes, the addiction is very clever, it will try to coax you back, tell you that you have control, that it will just be a quick go. You have control now......There is no such thing. An addicted gambler can never go back to betting recreationally. It just won't work. As soon as you win, you will want more, and as soon as you lose, you won't be able to accept it. The monster does not go away. It sleeps. You are no less addicted just because you don't gamble. As soon as you gamble again, you feed the monster and it awakens and wants more. 

You can absolutely do this. Your relapse happened around the same time as mine did a while back. I thought I had cracked it and got complacent I guess. I thought my gamble free days would stand for something and help me keep control but that all went out the window as soon as I hit that spin button. It set off a chain reaction in me that I was powerless to stop.

Time had healed some of your wounds and you got more positive about life, but you also can feel more positive about gambling again, like things will be different. They won't. 

Gambling will not change so we have to change instead. My new mindset has now helped me notch up 2 years gamble free in May and I used to gamble pretty much every day for more than two decades. Recovery is not instant and there will be blips along the way. I would make 3 months, then relapse, then 5, then relapse, then 9 months and then relapse and I used to beat myself up about it too. Why did I go back, what was I doing wrong? Why wasn't I learning? Then I realised I was doing something remarkable....I was going longer and longer without gambling each time and I was more able to accept the loss and let anger fuel me onwards towards the life of a non gambler. Deep down, you probably knew that this was going to happen. Perhaps there were signs of weakness or triggers that you didn't recognise. Perhaps you just needed reminding again that gambling is a losing game. After doing 9 months and gambling again, I closed the laptop and felt rather calm. I had lost several grand too but I kind of felt at peace. I guess in some way I got what I wanted. I got the boost that I needed to push me forward. 

Do not be discouraged by your relapse. You can only relapse if you first decide to quit, so look at the positives. Imagine, if this will be your very last relapse.....then for once, that really will be money well spent and lesson learnt. Imagine if this is the last time you will ever have to feel this way? Because it can be. Just set your goal and steam forward. Don't look back because that's not the direction you are going. 

Stay strong and remember that it is not about the fall but about how we rise, so feel better and move on from this.  

All the best.

Posted by: Lost and Found

Yes, the addiction is very clever, it will try to coax you back, tell you that you have control, that it will just be a quick go. You have control now......There is no such thing. An addicted gambler can never go back to betting recreationally. It just won't work. As soon as you win, you will want more, and as soon as you lose, you won't be able to accept it. The monster does not go away. It sleeps. You are no less addicted just because you don't gamble. As soon as you gamble again, you feed the monster and it awakens and wants more. 

You can absolutely do this. Your relapse happened around the same time as mine did a while back. I thought I had cracked it and got complacent I guess. I thought my gamble free days would stand for something and help me keep control but that all went out the window as soon as I hit that spin button. It set off a chain reaction in me that I was powerless to stop.

Time had healed some of your wounds and you got more positive about life, but you also can feel more positive about gambling again, like things will be different. They won't. 

Gambling will not change so we have to change instead. My new mindset has now helped me notch up 2 years gamble free in May and I used to gamble pretty much every day for more than two decades. Recovery is not instant and there will be blips along the way. I would make 3 months, then relapse, then 5, then relapse, then 9 months and then relapse and I used to beat myself up about it too. Why did I go back, what was I doing wrong? Why wasn't I learning? Then I realised I was doing something remarkable....I was going longer and longer without gambling each time and I was more able to accept the loss and let anger fuel me onwards towards the life of a non gambler. Deep down, you probably knew that this was going to happen. Perhaps there were signs of weakness or triggers that you didn't recognise. Perhaps you just needed reminding again that gambling is a losing game. After doing 9 months and gambling again, I closed the laptop and felt rather calm. I had lost several grand too but I kind of felt at peace. I guess in some way I got what I wanted. I got the boost that I needed to push me forward. 

Do not be discouraged by your relapse. You can only relapse if you first decide to quit, so look at the positives. Imagine, if this will be your very last relapse.....then for once, that really will be money well spent and lesson learnt. Imagine if this is the last time you will ever have to feel this way? Because it can be. Just set your goal and steam forward. Don't look back because that's not the direction you are going. 

Stay strong and remember that it is not about the fall but about how we rise, so feel better and move on from this.  

All the best.

What a remarkable post. Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it. I will come back here for those excellent advice if need be. I wish you all the best and a healthy life. Wonderful to hear you've been without 2 years. You are free and keep it that way. You know the true faces of gambling which your post truly reflects. Cheers!