Fed up of the cycle now. Want to beat it

I assume it’s obvious from your post but what advice would you give yourself?

Chris.

Hi

Sorry to hear you are vulnerable and in pain.

If you hate to lose, if you do not gamble you can not lose.

If I do not have the first bet then I do nto hurt my self.

Abstaining is about stop hurting our self and start to heal the pains of our past.

Gambling for me is not a game it is self destruction and going in to deeper depression.

You Lost £1,500 and if you devided that by your net hourly rate how many hours did you work to get that money.

That would mean you were working for nothing.

No rewards no holidays not knew cloaths.

You were working for a  complete stranger with no rewards what so ever.

Is that in any way healthy.

At what time will you commit your self to healing and getting better in your self.

Gambling for me was not healthy it was psychological and my emotional triggers.

Boredom was a trigger.

I escaped in my fears to Gambling because I could not cope emotionally .

My emotional triggers were pains I could not heal, fears I could not face, my unreasonable expectations I could not reduce, loneliness due to my fears of intimacy, and feelings of boredom due the fact I felt I did not feel worthwhile or productive in my life.

Being aware of when I was emotional vulnerable and understood my emotional triggers, I would reduce my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations I had no control over.

The deeper I got in to and understood my unhealthy reactions I would understand how to change unhealthy reactions to healthy interactions.

So, understanding that my addictions and obsessions only indicated how emotionally vulnerable I was, also understanding that being emotionally vulnerable I was not a weak person, even though it felt that way.

Love healing and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK

@chris-uk

The addicted part of you ie the part of you that likes a gamble won't like what I'm going to say.

The door was wide open to gamble and it was easy or super casual for you to go in.

A gambling addict or a gambler with serious problems needs to be blocked an you need to know now that means a lifetime 

You know it's a complex illness and I know what went through your head and you didn't mean to get carried away.

Problem is you are like me and every other gambling addict....you have no control even though you talk about a gap.....I've had gaps throughout my gambling life but it never meant I was in control ....the next binge was coming any time out of the blue until I finally realised I needed SERIOUS help.

You can not dabble with this and I know part of you will think I'm OTT........it's an ALL IN recovery for you and you can't play at it...truth is you've been playing at it.....get miffed at me because I speak the truth you need to hear

Ring your dad or other non gambler and start reaching out for help or there will be a next time and you will chuck even more money away......I've given the dens the price of a nice house.....imagine all the nice things I could have bought ..hi fi etc.

I was very ill and I am a compulsive gambler in full abstention recovery.

Best wishes for a gamble free life

@yamete I don’t think you mean me.

Chris.

@yamete 

Thanks for your reply. I don't have an addiction or in denial about having an addiction. I do admit though that I have a problem when I do gamble 100%. I can go months to a year without gambling at all and it doesn't bother me. The big losses I've had is from money I've actually won. I know when to stop and make sure I don't spend what I don't have when this happens. It still hurts and I'm mad at myself and feel stupid for letting it happen but that's how anyone would feel I guess. I'll think about the loss afterwards for a few week, feel down and fantasise about winning it all back but the thing is I won't actually gamble again and instead I go really tight with my money and save it all back up. Then I end up forgetting about that loss and play low stakes and end up on a winning streak. Build it up again and end up losing. That's the cycle I'm on about. This time I've joined gamban and excluded myself from the bookies to stop me starting again. I've had enough of it now. Been happening for years.