Hi,
I've recently had a severe relapse and lost everything again. I'm due to be debt free by the end of the year from everything I lost previously and have just tonight opened up to a family member about my situation. Literally half an hour ago I was feeling awfully low and building myself up to tell someone and then as soon as I open up I feel completely embarrassed as well as happier, sort of wishing I never told them. I don't know what the next move for me is as I've lost everything to get me to the end of the month and a small amount of savings I had for my October holiday. My girlfriend is due to come over for the weekend and is going to be seriously concerned why I have no money. I need to get myself back on track again but nothing I have tried can replicate the buzz of gambling. I'm a total pleasure J****E although gambling is the only vice I've had any serious issues with. Sorry if this sounds all over the place but I'm literally typing whatever comes to mind. I want a better life and don't feel happy in myself unless I'm doing something exciting like going out for a weekend, gambling etc. Has anyone else experienced similar?
Cheers,
B
Hi Ben , sorry to hear of your relapse . Better to be embarrassed than carry lies and deceit around on your own , none of my business but what about your girlfriend and openeing up to her ? , all the time your covering up and keeping secrets your just giving your addiction the green light to carry on and to be honest you probably will , in your mind you'll think your cured and able to control it but we all know and as youv'e just shown that really doesn't happen does it ?.
You say " you want a better life " ? well thats not going to happen if you don't stop gambling completely as it's just a downward spiral from here on in and the choice is yours to make buddy .
Life at times gets pretty mundane and boring and you do get into a rut , however you need to look to do other things with your time instead of gambling and to be honest if you weren't gambling you'd probably be able to afford to do something exciting and that really floats your boat , life's what you make it and the opportunity is yours to take , stopping gambling is one thing but you also need to make changes to your life , starting with the one's that cause you to gamble and from there you build a future life free of gambling . .
Take care buddy and I hope things work out for you .
Alan
Hi Ben. Have you thought about signing up for the free counselling that Gamcare offer? I'm only 3 sessions in to mine but it really helps you to identify the reasons you turn to gambling which can then help you find a way forward. I second Alan's comment about telling your girlfriend....lying just makes things worse and having her support will no doubt benefit you in the long term. Hardest thing I ever did was open up to my husband about it but it has really helped move things forward for me. Good luck with your recovery and keep posting.
Cheers for the repsonses, I really appreciate them. So today i woke up and told my girlfriend and my parents which does feel like a weight off my shoulders however im so embarassed to even go in the same room as them now. Seems ridiculous but ive actually thought about gambling the last 30 quid i have to my name to try win something back to get me to month end, but i know id just go back into the cycle that i need to break. Not sure whats next but just desperate to get to month end so i can actually pay to live and get back on track again.
Good for you Ben , it takes some courage but it will allow you to move forwards with no little sectrets to keep you in the game , don't be embarassed my friend , you can now stand tall and fight Mr G head on in a way you haven't been able to , with honesty and be very proud of what youv'e done today :))
Take care fella !!
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