I started a job last month after being unemployed since May, and also began running and going to the gym after work on most days. Things were looking up and my mental health has improved a lot recently, until today.
I spend the holidays alone because I am estranged with my family,and my stepdad was abusive since I was young. The problem with that is that I get bored sitting in front of my computer. I went out running and walking but you can only do that so much until you have to go home. This is when I deposited and lost £950 in a matter of minutes and then lost another £1000 chasing my losses. Within an hour, I have just gambled away more than a month of my wage with nothing left to pay rent or bills.
Prior to this I haven't gambled since the beginning of 2023. And when I lost money I would feel guilty, and wanted to kill myself. But now I can only feel sad and numb, which is even worse because it feels like I don't even care anymore.
I have banned myself from the remaining online site that I use but I don't know if that will help that much. I don't think I will gamble again soon but this has been such a dampener on things since I thought my life was getting better.
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rant over,
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K
Dear @dmaw5q4btj,
Thank you for your first post on the forum, I am glad you have reached out during what sounds like a really difficult time.Â
Setbacks do happen in a recovery journey so try not to be too hard on yourself about it. You've taken a big step to acknowledge it and come onto the forum for some advice and support. I know it can hurt and I'm sorry it has taken you to the point of wanting to end your life previously, there are always people to support you through this and those feelings though.
If you do want to explore some other support options, you are always welcome to call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or on our live chat options too, we are here 24/7. An advisor will be able to help you with looking into any further support you may wish to access or even just to have a conversation.Â
There is also lots of support surrounding the other difficult things you have been through too, such as the abuse from your stepfather so please don't struggle with that on your own.Â
Please do continue to post.
Wishing you all the best,Â
Sophie C
Forum Admin
Hi its sounds like u really have apart from that gambling episode got ur life back on track.....job tick.....exercise tick....try to focus on the positives...today is a lesson....and its a lesson at the time of year where its very difficult .....You managed practically all of 2023 gamble free thats huge...and you got yourself a job.
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Im with lynns avice going to try my local park run.....on saturdays....im going to infact trial it tomo morning and go from there.
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this can be the start of another great year for you.....ok youve stumbled...but youre back on track within one day...not one month or two years...ONE DAY horray for that mate......
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2k is an expensive lesson but its very manageable....lets rock into next year and start fresh...new objectives...new friends...new lifestyle...continue youre healthy living..that 2k is much better than if u ate 2ks worth of papppa johns in 2023...think how much more healthy u are mate.
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look forward
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Knock Knock,.....
whos there....
interupting cow....
interupting cow w.....mmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...ho lol
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night
Hi mate it was nice chatting to you, i did something similar last year i blew all my savings after being gamble free just under 3 years it went so quickly and it really hurt as i believe i was past it since my last relapse i have realised i can never be free from gambling, its a life long illness so ongoing support is essential, i realised i needed to to what i can if im serious i still get the odd urgues however i am able to manage them alot better now i have put plan in place if im ever struggling i can contact friends or family as well as the massive support available on here, i realise we cannot get too content and i will be tested some point in my life as long as i continue getting support and do everything askes for me i feel much better in myself in my recovery the past is the past i have also worked on myself identified triggers and i have minmized them as much as possible, i also feel alot more confident in myself and i am aware i need to keep myself positiveÂ
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