Have had a slip: £750 gone in no time today...

Feeling the same andy, I lost all my holiday money today, not sure what I'm going to do either, I can't talk to my better half nor my mum, she just wouldnt understand. Hope you get yourself out of this mess. Your not alone

Thanks, Fatlady. I don't know which of them to turn to. Really don't know what to do. Part of me is wishing to try and win money back, but I need to cut this out - it is destroying everything. That money could have done so much in the house. I am in a mess and don't know who to turn to. 25 years and tens upon tens of thousands in machines and online...

Me to, thousands of pounds spent on a few minutes of happiness, then reality bites coming out of the bookies with nothing, then start thinking were I can lend money from or how much I can borrow from a payday loan. Its crazy why do we put ourselves through this?

Tell them both but don't let either of them bail you out & then accept every single offer of help you can get from anywhere to beat this vile addiction once & for all! That starts with drawing a line under your losses...Gambling got you into this mess, it won't get you out!

You've been on the site long enough to know it can be done but it's nigh on impossible to do it alone!

Deep breath, unveil the secrecy of the monster within & push forwards with the rest of your life - ODAAT

Think I might come clean and tell them both, you know. Thanks. My better half knows about my past. I swore to her two weeks ago that it would never happen again after I blew over 500 trying to chase being down a bit of money. I miraculously managed to win that money back and have been fortunate to win a bit more since that, but it's what always happens: you lose a bit, then do big bets to try and win the money back ASAP. Everything then falls apart, like it has now. I made an oath maybe 4/5 years ago that I would never again gamble, after losing hundreds on online fruit machines and the like. Many, many thousands gone since then.

I don't have any tattoos, but I am feeling that if I were to get one with yesterday's date I could put my hand on that to prevent me from doing anything when I get urges. 30th May, 2015 would be a good day to stop this terrible disease. . .

On a practical level you shouldn't have access to money like that when you are vulnerable. Hand it over to someone to look after for you. I know its demeaning but so is blowing your money on gambling and feeling like this.

Hi folks,

I had a head stagger and blew a further £1K plus this morning. Awful. Has to be 150K that I estimate to have spent in the last 24/25 years. Have nothing to show for it at all apart from complete misery. Told my Mum and partner. Have done a lot of recent gambling on credit cards and it has left me in a real mess. 31st of May. Will it end now?! Only I can make this happen. I am going to try and get to GA meetings, as well. Will be making a diary and documenting info in it. I was still getting urges to gamble this afternoon. I think I will have to really cut back on watching sport.

I have never, ever felt as low as I do now from gambling. I feel I have let the most important people in my life down so much. I also didn't realise that I was in quite as much of a mess that I am with credit cards. I really can't afford to do anything in the near future. It is a complete disaster...

Just blew £1100 tonight as well playing online roulette. I feel ashamed and pathetic. I'm lying here now with my head spinning and my chest full of stress. Why do I put myself through this. I never win. It's pointless! I've told my partner as I don't want to keep secrets from her. I'm about £10,000 in debt and it's going to take me a while to clear it. I can't keep going on like this. I'm going to end up losing my family, my mind and putting myself in an early grave!

I spent most of today in work thinking about yesterday and thinking about 'what if's.' 'What if I had gone with any of the 3 'other' bets that I intended to do - I wouldn't be in this mess. After a short time I got into the thinking of that it finally needs to end. 25 years. I am a disgrace. I am going to have to punish myself by not going out, not eating out regularly like I do without a second's thought. Perhaps this is in one way good that it has come to this in that I now can't afford to be buying things at a whim in shops, whether it be an article of clothing, a smoothie in town, or go for a meal out for lunch, etc. it'll be packed lunches for a long time for me. I can't afford to take up Direct Golf's 15% off email offer like I wouldn't have even turned down in the past, and I now have to skim past all the Groupon or Living Social deals instead of buying one or two every week or two. Gambling is the devil, folks. . .

It certainly is that, I too have spent today budgeting in a way that I can get back my losses, I would like nothing more than to forget about money but in this day and age there is no chance it's in everyday. Best of luck with your recovery.

Thanks, David. I appreciate that.

Cheers, Relapse. Best of luck to you as well, buddy...

Hi Big_Andy, we all understand how you are feeling at the moment. I am working out a budget right now and feel very down thinking there will be no more meals out and spontaneous shopping trips whenever I feel like it .... but although it will be a huge challenge, I know it's my fault I'm in this situation so just trying to stay positive and think it won't be forever. Stopping the gambling is the number 1 priority.

Good luck.

BowWow x

Thanks, BowWow, appreciate it. Tbh, I have had a number of suicidal thoughts in the last few days. To be honest, if it didn't hurt my Mother as much as it would, I'd have done it alreDy. gambling has ruined lots of potential for me. Anyway, this ain't the place for that chat. I haven't had a bet since the 31st of May, and I suppose that's something...

Hi again, folks. I had posted this on another thread. It pretty much sums up my current situation, so thought I might repost it in my original thread. All the best, folks...

I am sorry to say that I lost about 1K this weekend. I now am screwed money-wise. My folks bailed me out by lending me 2K only last week, I had some pending bets today whilst I talked heart to heart with them regarding my finances and all my gambling. I have a new, lesser-paid job after gambling pretty much cost me my last one. I am in training for it at the moment and have found it very hard to focus on the learning due to what has gone on recently. I'm looking at between 4.5K and 5K on cards. 2K owed to my folks and 3 hundred to my (much) better half. I did have a good wage coming in, and pretty much unlimited overtime at over 20 quid an hour. That's all gone now, muchly due to the fact I let gambling consume my duties at work. My folks are yet to know that I have changed jobs. I sat gambling every day for 6 weeks instead of proactively looking for jobs. I am 35 now and bring such disappointment to my folks, and of course myself. I am in a constant state of despair and depression. Every people in my training group have noticed that I rarely smile, and appear gloomy and quite frankly, fairly unfriendly. So, things are in a complete mess. I am on Facebook a lot and continually see people that I know, that I went to college and Uni with, out enjoying themselves, being successful, smiling, getting married, havng children. I literally have *so* little to strive or live for at the moment. I am consumed with guilt, despair, and debt. I have a fantastic, supportive Better Half and parents that have supported me 100% right throughout my life. I have a thoroughly addictive personality and have well exceeded 100K spending on gambling in the last 24 or so years. I began this pointless and dark journey on 2p machines, then moved on to 5p, 10 and 20p. Tens of thousands spent on 25p, 30p and 50p a spin machines. Then online gambling has become a major issue in the last 8 years or so. It must stop now. I literally have very, very little money to live on, and have a mountain of debt to pay back. I am writing this at 12:15AM and I don't think I'll get to sleep any time soon. I have to get up after 6 in the morning to go to work. I am far behind other people in my group due to not being able to focus last week, as I had negative thoughts of gambling running through my mind. It is a clean slate from now on. A few years ago I swore on a bible that I would never play a fruit machine again. As far as I can remember I haven't broken that rule. I feel that I must make the same pledge again later this evening, in the company of my girlfriend. I appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read this right through to now. I wish you all hope and a gamble-free life. Here's to a better tomorrow...!