Have you relapsed more than twice?

I have relapsed so many times. Your in a dreadful place and gambling is solely to blame. It makes dirt out of decent people. I want to run but really I want to stay. I want someone to shake me and tell me to sort myself out. You are the master of your own destiny. Start again tomorrow take it one day at a time. Total abstinace is the only way. Let this be the last Xmas like this get started on a diary stay with it enjoy this Xmas try not worry about money. Good Luck

Lots of us on here have relapsed many many times, but it's only because gambling is an illness an addiction just like drink and drugs, u are trying your best to beat it, we all are, and it's extremely hard to do without support from either family or friends, I found coming on here everyday reading everyone's story's and also checking in on here everyday has helped me massively, I am on day 14 now and I feel so much happier in life.. if your partner already knows about your gambling in the past I'm sure it won't be a surprise to him that u have relapsed again, you will just have to tell your landlord to wait for the rent money until after Xmas, I'm sure most people cannot afford their rent over Xmas anyway it's an expensive time for everybody at this time of year. maybe family or friends can help you with your xmas presents for your baby? but to be honest don't worry too much about presents as 2 year olds are mostly interested in the boxes and wrapping paper at that age lol... just keep coming on here each day it really helps x

I've had countless relapses!

I lived with my parents until I was 33, unable to afford to live anywhere else due to gambling. I made more promises than I can think of to my parents to never gamble again. Then after the fog of gambling have to tell them why they couldn't get their board money this month. This went on for years. But I don't think I had truly quit back then. Because I'd go weeks without gambling then weeks with gambling. If I'm honest with myself I wasn't serious enough about kicking the habit.

The past couple of years have been different. I've had my slips. But they have been one offs. The most important part is admitting the mistake and getting straight back on with recovery.

We can only hope for the love and support of those close to us. I'd say your partner will be there for you. It's more unfair and unkind to lie to him and live that lie yourself. My advice is to talk this through with them.

Perhaps offer over control of the finances that would help you and perhaps give your partner peace of mind for the future.

I know you'll find a way through. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're here wanting to do something about it, rather than somewhere else contemplating more gambling.

Love and hugs to you xoxoxoxox You will emerge from this stronger xoxoxoxox

My relapse today feels the worst as I thought I was getting on top of it all, I just think I have to work harder and not be complacent. The relapse hurts but hopefully there will be a time when there isn't a relapse

Yes I did because I set up no effective blocks. What did I expect because nobody was managing my money and my willpower alone was clearly not enough. It took me 10 months to start tackling it seriously.

I wouldnt say I was fighting urges overnight/on free weeks but they would suddenly come upon me when in town. There wasnt any heart wrenching and I just felt myself doing it. Thats the danger really in that I can not really understand how calmly my mind is drawing me in. Its almost as if Im under instant hypnotism and doing it in a trance. It seemed initially so rational like you are doing this now and its a good idea. By the time any doubt set in Im chasing, chasing, chasing like a man truly possessed.

Theres a lot we dont understand about the power of the mind to overide any rational thoughts

In that time I had a max break of three months, got straight then gambled again..... than gambled a bit less thinking Im clever. Then a credit card came with a tiny limit....started sensibly then the withdrawals started for gambling. On it went at fortnightly intervals...got sensible then paid it off........ then on a whim I'm drawing £100 out on CC and £100 from the bank and gambling it in one session with chasing behaviour. Yes it starts with £10 but it scares me rigid how it would chase from there to £200. Its a sort of indignant Im not ready to lose and how dare they make me lose...next spin.... next spin.......

I have now seriously put the blocks up and cant believe I didnt do it a year ago.

I HAVE to say that I still see people on the intro forum who arent fully ready to stop. I help where I can because I understand the confusion but its clear that without blocking the time/ location/ money triangle, the urges and lapses will continue.

I have the same thing as joydivider describes in relation to rational brain override. Cost me some serious money in past months.