My situation may not be extreme to many but it's making me think of the worst things imaginable to the point of wanting to take my own life.
I'm 23 and unemployed. I have a gambling addiction which I know and I've had it since 18. However at the minute I've maxed out two credit cards, one for 1500 the other for 2000. I've taken out a payday loan for 650 which I have to pay back over 1000 on. I have no money in my normal account. Every last penny I've had I've gambled away. Last year when it was bad I lost my girlfriend over it but this year has got out of hand. I just want someone to show me how to stop. I don't want to do it anymore, but if I have the odd 1 I'll do a stupid bet. I'm up to my eyeballs I'm debt which I can't see how I'll clear and I have nobody to turn too. My mum has helped in the past but as far as she is aware I'm over it all now and she vowed she wouldn't ever help me again. My dad has no idea about my addiction, it's always been a secret as he lost his best friend through gambling and HATES it.
I just need someone to talk to or give me advice. I'm so scared how my mum will react to when she sees the mess I've created. I'm scared as it'll break her heart.
I keep finding myself searching online how to overdose and end my life. It doesn't seem like lots of money but I'm more upset that I've let my mum down again.
Please someone talk to me or just help
Hi Staffie,
Firstly welcome to this site.
Although you may be feeling desperate and you may think there is no way out I am sure your parents would feel a great deal worse if you took your own life.
Come clean with them but have a plan agree to get help via Gam Care or GA. Exclude yourself from all betting establishments you frequent, online or physical bookies. Give complete control of your finances to your mom or dad and show them you are ready to make a commitment to change.
Sure they are going to be disappointed and perhaps angry. But the guilt of loosing someone they love to suicide would be a far greater pain and disappointment.
Speak to a Gam Care advisor who can help and will give you some sound and reassuring advise.
How ever you are feeling right now if you stop gambling and get help it will only improve. Many people including myself have at the darkest times considered paying the ultimate price, some sadly have and many of the grieving relatives and friends have uttered 'if only we knew we could have helped!!'
You are 23 and have made a few mistakes but there are organisations that can help, do not be another statistic or news headline!!
If you read some of the recovery diaries or new comer threads you will find someone who has felt just like you do now and they have eventually come through a great deal stronger.
All the best take care !!!
Hi Staffie,
I also suggest that maybe ring your credit card people and set up a payment plan, tell them you can afford to pay 20-40 a month and if they ask why say that income in lower than expected and cant afford repayments.. do the same with payday lenders!!
I had payday loan for 300 and paying like 500 back but I told them I cant afford repayments and for last 7 months I've been paying 25 a month back to them!!
Trust me I know how you feel but there Is a way around it all and suicide is not the answer!! ring those companies ASAP and explain situation and get payment plan
Then tell your mum, she'll be angry and maybe have a go but I'm sure that's a lot better than her attending your funeral?
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Staffie,
I know how you feel. I am a bit older but am doing similar things. I need someone to talk to that is going through the same thing and think that would help. I am ruining my life and don't know how to get back to where I used to be!
Sboy
Staffie,
If you would like to talk privately email the admin forum and we could try and set it up?
Sboy
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