Here we are again...

and of course you now have that reality that you can win? Perhaps you can win enough to take the family on another holiday or buy some nice new things?

thats the carrot that gambling addiction dangles over my head. Sometimes i get the carrot but most of the time i don't

The thing is, when I have won so much so easily, it makes me think and believe that the next big win is just another tenner away.... and another... and another....

Of course it could be 10 away, it could 1000 away and it might never come, and how much and I prepared to lose before I say enough is enough??

thats the question that keeps welcoming many gamblers back into the fold

hope in gambling never goes away

why i have to keep battling with my reality that i can't win because i can't stop

tri

This comment could have been posteed by me, I have done the exact same thing.... I won a few thousand and treated people.... now I have relapsed and back again.... what hits me, is that this will be with you for the rest of our lifes,,,, you can never go back just a little bit.... once we realise that, then thats a big step on the road to recovery

I am not sure I will ever be able to 'not gamble' - I go through phases of being able to just gamble a little bit, and phases of doing it too much. Even when I make the decision to stop for good, it is only a matter of time before I am back in its clutches once again.

Here i am again....Things are not drastic like they have been before, but the addicition is showings its ugly head again. Why can't I just stop and put my time to better things?? I always complain that I dont have enough time to do certain things, but then I spend hours a day playing online slots. I enjoy them, but clearly not enough to play them for free. I have got better at not going into betting shops, I know when I do I spend all my money. So I try really very hard not to go in at all, and I have been pretty good at it.

But online.... I limit my deposit limits, then I increase them, then I limit them again. I close accounts, open accounts, self exclude, open new ones. Sometimes I lose track of which accounts are accessable, and spend lots of time going through all the sites and trying to log in.

I had the K9 software on my computer, but the internet is so accessable these days. I have two phones, a tablet, a laptop and my pc. I can access internet through my TV, the consoles, and the other laptops and tablets in the house!

Always chasing that big win..... getting deeper into debt and every night telling myself that that's it and it stops now. And for those few hours whilst I sleep it does stop. Then I awake and the nightmare continues for another day......

Hi Rainbow,

I'm sorry you're having a tough time with it. From my experience you need to stop completely, not just wind down and go less. I think all of us are the same, albeit to different extents, but it has to be complete abstinence. I've tried in the past just to calm it down and reduce stakes etc but then you just end up having a good win and suddenly £10 spins don't give that buzz. It's only a month or so ago that I had the desire to completely stop and I know if I even did any small bit the cycle would start again.

It's a horrible place waking up in sweats at night, we've all been there. Hoping you can find something that makes you want to stop full stop.

Hi Rainbow - there is a special club which you, I and most members on this site are members of and its called the 'I cannot gamble because I cannot stop' club.

I have done most of the things you have mentioned but eventually realised you just can't win because no win is ever enough which means you play longer and the odds against you always triumph

Each morning you wake up say to yourself 'I will not gamble today' - if you stick to it until you go to bed at night it's job done!

I really do wish you well my friend.

Dave

I'm in that horrible club & it came as quite a shock to realise that I couldn't ever 'control' my gambling! Every day for years I told myself the same thing...Went home & took out loans to cover my latest loss, rewrote my sums so I knew how long it would take me to be debt free, then straight back to it the second I had a chance. A few months into recovery, I'm not scared of never gambling again, it's the gambling that scares me now!

I am itching to ask...Did the holiday really cost more than what you have lost over the years to gambling? Did the highs it gave you outweigh the lows you have everytime you gamble? Chances are with hard work & determination you will be able to afford nice things. Without gambling, you will be able to have time for you & your loved ones!

You may not think you are strong enough now but you are! Gambling has already dragged you to this sad place, don't let it drag you even further down! You need to close those doors on gambling...Free money is not for us, we cannot win because we cannot stop!

If you can't get someone to install blocking software on all of your devices to break your Time-Money-Location triangle then hand over control of your finances or change to a basic bank account!

@ the very least get some passport photos done to exclude from the shops that are easily accessed!

Don't fear recovery, embrace it - ODAAT

ODAAT you really make some salient posts.