Hey everyone, ive been a CG addict for around 5 years now, started when i was 18 im now 23.
It came to a head about 2 years ago when my mum and dad found out the extent of my gambling. I was in around 13k debt at the time and it nearly broke them.
They helped me attend counselling etc and for a time i was 100% better, i even nearly had the debt paid off! The last few months has been the worst of my life and i relapsed and my debts have just completely spiralled to the point where im now in over £30grand of debt, and i only earn 20k a year!
I cant believe i have done it agan and am contemplating dropping this bombshell on them 3 days before christmas but i dont know what else to do. I have been contemplating suicide but it just seems like such a selfish way out. I do enjoy my life generally and i have a great girlfriend but i just cant get the losses out of my head, which drives me to keep gambling. Im just so fed up of existing at the minute, i just seem to be floating around in a haze with gambling and money taking up every waking thought that i have.
Sorry for the waffle i guess i just want someone to talk to.
Thank you
You tell them what you are going to DO to make this time different. This doesn't include things like "I'm going to try harder", "I will never gamble again", "I don't even have the urge to gamble anymore". It does include things like these are the concrete things i am going to do... GA, Gamcare ( whether you think it's your thing or not).
This is a tough addiction and long term recovery generally can't be done on your own.
Cathy ( mom of 27 year old recovering compulsive gambler)
Hi Compulsivegambler23
Welcome to the forum and well done for posting. You will find a lot of support here on this site from other people who have been where you are now and being open and talking about it can be a huge help.
It sounds at the moment as though you feel quite desperate and stressed, even to the point of contemplating suicide. Perhaps it is the feelings of shame and guilt, as well as the panic about the money that has brought you to this difficult place. I would encourage you to think about what it is you want. Maybe what you want is for those feelings to end rather than to die?
You mention in your post about wanting someone to talk to and I would encourage you to contact our helpline and speak to an adviser on our freephone number 08080 8020 133 or contact an advisor through our netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline
We are open everyday 8am until midnight and we can provide emotional support as well as confidential advice and information.
We also run online chatrooms everyday where you can chat to other members of the forum. The Chatroom is a welcoming, friendly, safe and supportive environment and is moderated by a staff member, who will be on hand to guide chat or answer questions.
You can contact the Samaritans free anytime on 116 123. You can talk to them about whatever is getting you down you don't have to be suicidal.
Take care and do reach out for support we are here to help.
Best wishes
Forum admin
Hi compulsivegambler23 I know what your going through my debts are around 15-20k I would have never thought I'd contomplate suicide but when I realapse it's there nagging away at me ! I'm part way through gamcare counciling and I deffinatley feel better for it , I am married with 2 kids I know my wife knows I'm in debt I have told her that once I complete my counciling I will tell all . This will be a tough day and I'm not quite ready for it yet but at least I'm going to fight this rarther than give in ! Life is not a rehearsal your young enough to get past this and in a few years it will be a distant memory . There's lots of people on here that will help you and chat including me ! Let's stick it out and keep in touch . The way I look at it if I stop now the debt can only come down bye for now
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