Hypnosis

I had 1 session & was very disappointed to hear the hypnotherapist tell me in no uncertain terms that he could not make me do anything I didn't want to do myself 🙁 I was drained after the session I had & I stopped for about a week which I considered to be money well spent @ the time! I cannot tell you why I managed to stop for so long (ha, it was @ that time) though? He reckoned I needed 5/6 more sessions & @ over £200 a pop, I couldn't see why I should throw that sort of money away when he'd clearly told me he couldn't make me stop unless I wanted to! I figured, if I wanted to stop, I would be able to!

I know you're fighting for your husband...I only hope he sees how much & gets his act together!

Stay strong & look after you - ODAAT

Hi ODAAT

Thanks for your reply. I knew it was a desparate attempt at a solution. We had a chat today- I actually think I've got to divorce him- then he will satisfied that me and our girls will be safe and then be able to either concentrate on himself and get better or not. Does that make sense? I know you are aware of my situation and I would really value your opinion. I don't plan to abandon him- I've said as soon as he wants my help I'll be there but I have to protect my home.

My 1st instinct is to say I can't offer an opinion but I know you have been around the forum & this will be no more than just that...

Before I give it though, I will say, I am a fiercely independent 42 year old, never been married & never wanted kids! I have also only ever been in relationships with weaker men & I would not have tolerated what I did in someone else! I'm also a little detached from emotion & whilst I agree with the sanctity of marriage, I don't think people should stay in violent relationships...I've never been in one so to preach that I would just walk away is not tested & this is a similar issue. I think the words that come out about keeping you & the girls safe may be heartfelt & well intended @ the time but are ultimately bull, an excuse to allow him to carry on in peace! If he was really serious about looking after everyone, he would hand over his finances like Mr H-L & take every bit of support offered! Divorce sounds a bit extreme but if that's what it takes to protect you & your girls I can't see that you have any choice 🙁 Yes you 'took him' in sickness & in health & this may well be a sickness but it's one that with everything out there & the support of someone like you behind him he could do something about! To be honest, he makes my blood boil...Many people on here would kill to have you in their corner! I'm going to hazard a guess that he's not the man you married & having grown up with a CG, maintain it's not the right environment to be bringing up children! That said, the man you love is still there so don't run too far if you go!

Please be strong for you & the girls & take any support you are offered! My heart breaks for you & I really hope he realises he's going to lose everything before you have to go down that road!

I couldnt agree more. His claims about keeping you & the girls safe are nothing more than emotional blackmail. An addicts self pitying attempt to make their struggle with addiction look almost heroic in their partners eyes. A woe is me statement designed to make you feel sorry for him. Stopping gambling is a pretty easy thing to do. Staying stopped is difficult. Your husband seems unprepared to try either. Im really sorry you are another casualty of this completely managable disease.

Dan

Thank you ODAAT,

I appreciate your honesty- he makes my blood boil too!! I hear what you're saying that's it just better for him to continue in peace- but if he does it won't affect us. Let's face it I've given him 6 months to see the light and he hasn't so a change is needed. And that change has to come from me. I know divorce seems drastic but legally it will protect us as we will no longer be financially linked. I've fought this long enough on my own and given him every opportunity to join me. Sadly he's in too deep. And if I don't act soon I'm scared that the pressure will break me and my girls need at least 1 sane(ish) parent. Thanks again for taking the time.

Thanks Dan too,

Well if you are both right,which I'm sure you are, he will sink further and he will not be able to take us with him. Best get to a solicitor pronto...