I have ruined my life!

Hi Mr6ix,

I am so glad that you have written this; it sounds like you’re really struggling at the moment but please know that you are not alone and there is a lot of advice, and more importantly support, available to you.  It sounds like your gambling had had a big impact on your relationships, finances and university place.  

You have made a really positive step today just by reaching out. As I am sure you will find, the Forum is a welcoming and supportive space which allows you to talk to others who may also be experiencing similar issues to yourself.

I would encourage you to contact the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or via our live chat available from the website https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/ both of which are open seven days a week, 24 hours a day and where one of our advisers will be able to talk, for as long as you need, and look at all the support available to you.

Wishing you all the very best,

Clare

Forum Admin

Hi, I am 62 years old and gambled all my savings my pension pot, ran up huge debts and felt suicidal.  Honestly you are young enough to break away from gambling and start again.  I managed to stop by blocking everything, I had 6 credit cards and 2 loans and no pension.  2 years after stopping I have 1 loan and 3 cards to pay off, I have savings and I have started paying my pension pot back, I have such a short time to get straight but you have years ahead of you, block everything, make a plan.  It’s so difficult but like any addiction it’s worth it when you break the cycle, promise it gets better.

@ameliasgran help me how do I get my life bk

@forum-admin nobody can help me they can listen but that's it 

I hate who I have become 

How the he'll do I get outta this

Hi, block every site with gamstop.  Make a plan, look at finances see what you have what you can pay back and what you can save.  Do a spreadsheet.  Don’t worry about university I went when I was 35, worked, look after my daughter and still got a 2:1 degree.  It’s difficult not thinking about gambling I know, but keep telling yourself bookies and owners of gambling we’d sites live in huge mansions on your money.  Each time you save a bit or pay a bit back record it in a diary.  I have a diary going back 3 years, what I have now compared to then is an amazing achievement not without the odd slip up though.  It’s an illness that needs to be fixed but only you can do it. X

@ameliasgran thank you for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. I still feel s**t but I will try to take on board what you’re saying and use it as motivation to improve my situation.

I really do understand how you are feeling. I am on the beginning of my recovery. I made the first steps of going on the online chat and they arranged for counselling sessions. I have gone for some telephone counselling sessions. I also Went to the doctors today to talk about my depression. All such scary things but the relief to have told someone (either a stranger) felt like a small weight has been lifted. I feel empowered that I am starting to take back my life. I know it will be long and hard but today felt like the first step in the right direction. Block all of the betting apps and arrange for help. I'm a 34 woman who has lived with gambling for a very long time. I'd get paid and gamble it all away the same day. I'd have no money for essentials, food, travel. I have been there. There have been dark times, but you are stronger than you think. Please seek help today.

@mr6ix hi, how’s things hope you feel better 

Hi @mr6ix,

Sorry to hear your story but well done for coming on here and taking that first step to a new and much better life. You said -

Gambling has turned me into a person that I never thought I would be

In my opinion that's 100% right, fast forward a year or 2 and you'll say exactly the same but it will be as a statement of positivity. What you have gone through will make you appreciate and be grateful for everything that you achieve going forward. You'll be proud that you have an addiction yet you battled through and made a great life for yourself. You'll most likely value relationships and certainly money more than you ever would have had this not happened.

So although it certainly won't seem like it now the last 5 years can turn in to a positive experience. Especially at 23 years old. Plenty of years to undue the damage, rebuild and become the person you want to be. 

First bit of advice is to put the blocks in place. If you bet via phone, tablet, laptop blockers can be put on them (lots of info on this site about them or a quick Google will give you everything you need). MOSES self exclusion can be done either asking in bookies or by phoning them direct (info can be found with good ol Google). 

There are plenty of other advice and strategies to help so I would say read some posts and some diaries I'm sure they will help and will show that your not alone in this. Feel free to post on any topic or diary its a good community to be a part of. 

One final thing is please don't do what I did I was around 23/24 when I first wanted to stop gambling and it took many attempts over 6 years and thousands of more pounds wasted before I finally stopped even then I had one more relapse I'm thankful now 3 and half years gamble free but how I wish I never wasted those years, why I didn't just stop! Trust me it only ever gets worse going back to gambling. If your on here you can't control it so please don't get tempted, don't let the addiction trick you back into the game. I write from experience as your story resonated with me. 

I wish you all best, stay strong and take care. 

David. 

Posted by: @mr6ix

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I am 23 years of age and I have been gambling for the best part of 5 years. These have been the worst years of my life and I have never felt soo low. To keep my story brief, it all started as harmless fun during college, but by the time I went to university the problem had depended. I started placing bigger stakes and by the time I knew it things spiralled out of control and I was in serious debt. As I sit here typing this I am currently in £+ worth of debt with loan companies which I have already got one CCJ for. £+ worth of debt with my university as I was gambling money that was meant for rent. £+ worth of debt with my family because I stole from them and gambled the money away. Alongside this I also owe a friend £+ as he trusted me with funds for a joint venture however I went behind is back to mishandle it. Aside from all this debt I have friends who no longer want anything to do with me, family who don’t trust me and the girl I loved is no longer in my life which I put down to gambling as I was neglecting her and wasn’t able to treat her how she deserved to be because I was always broke. Also, I am unable to continue my education because the university won’t allow me to with the money that’s owed to them. Although I’m young I feel like gambling has completely ruined all aspects of my life and I honestly feel I have nothing left to live for. I have missed out a lot of details about my gambling journey but these are the key points. Gambling has turned me into a person that I never thought I would be and my name, credibility and life dreams have been completely ruined. I do not know how I will recover from this.

I'm really sorry to hear about the difficult situation you're facing due to gambling. It's crucial to remember that you're not alone, and there are steps you can take to address your issues and work toward recovery.

I'm truly sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing due to gambling. It's a challenging journey, but reaching out for support is a crucial step. You're not alone in this; many have overcome similar struggles. Consider contacting a helpline or seeking professional help. Acknowledging the impact of gambling on your life is a brave first step toward recovery. Rebuilding trust, managing debt, and restoring relationships are possible with the right support network. Remember, your worth extends beyond your current challenges, and there's hope for a brighter future. Reach out to those who care, and take small steps toward positive change.