Hi Guys my names Ben I'm 19 and I need to stop gambling, tonight was the final straw. having been 400 pounds up in the last few days and thinking I'm controlling it well, i went on a flurry and lost the 400 and another 200. which isn't that bad compared to previous months which has been more. I'm staking 300-400 pounds a day which is about what i earn in a week, which is so stupid and in lockdown i lost all by wages as they were coming in from furlough, however i need to try forget about that, but I've just lost all respect for money and there just numbers on a screen.The amount of time i'm spending as well is terrible, aswell constantly thinking about it win or lose. my biggest problem is the casino blackjack and roulette. But now i cant watch sports unless I have a bet on anymore as well. I did sign up to gamstop last November, but I found out you can gamble in other peoples names if you know their date of birth and address in march, so i set up accounts in family members names as they automatically verify you now without needing to send documentation which is absurd. I know its wrong and i shouldn't do that but the temptation is too much. I'm in about 800 worth of debt because of gambling on credit cards, which isn't that much luckily I wasn't allowed more credit cards as my credit ratings low as I'm young luckily. My parents found out i gambled a lot and went mental my dad had to bail me out one month and the next month i still gambled which is terrible. i'm just on here looking for advice on how to stop and ways I can resist the temptation. i think being in lockdown hasn't helped much at all as this free time i would normally be out socialising or working, as I'm now working from home which gives me more time which is obviosuly not good. I've put barriers in place to stop me gamling but somehow i overcome them i'm going to block my card again and my PayPal account. I want to kick this addiction now and look back in a few years and think what was i doing and put it down to being young and daft, any advice on how to stop gambling for good and resist the temptation.
Thanks
Ben
DearBenDave11,
Thank you for posting and explaining your situation, you have been very open in your description. In addition to getting support here, you are welcome to contact us on our helpline or LiveChat to speak one to one with an adviser, if you haven't done so already. We offer free information, advice and treatment options.
Best Wishes
Fiona
Forum Admin
i posted yesterday that i felt lockdowns and gambling addiction is a lethal concoction that is going to cause a lot of problems
the UK gov will have done untold damage to peoples mental health in the last 12 months by introducing these ridiculous draconian measures but there we are that is the price we are told we must pay
anyway back to the gambling , i started gambling heavily around 18/19 and it was probably the worst decision i ever made by 22 i had to make myself insolvent as i had so many creditors and was in 10K of debt not all from gambling but the vast majority
that 4 year period of gambling easily set me back 5 years in life
i am 28 now and through a lot of hard work have only just cleared all my debt and managed to build a few thousand in savings .....i should own a property by now but instead i am still in the abyss that is renting and thats largely because of my gambling when i was younger
the good news is you can and will make mistakes in your 20's and repair them in time to get on with your life
you are very young so you can chalk it up to a bad experience and move on , trust me you dont want to get to 25 and find yourself in 10 - 20K debt
once you get into your 30's it becomesa lot harder to repair mistakes and by 40's it becomes hell of a lot harder
take a look around the forum for some horror stories
Morning Ben,
Thankyou for sharing you story and first step taken in address your gambling problem.
I am no expert, however, I do have a few suggestions.
1. Buy yourself a copy of Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters for £6.99 from any good book store (Amazon, Ebay) - the urge to gamble is your monkey, not you. The only way to win at gambling is not to play (in word, not let the monkey take over your life).
2. If possible sign up with Fintech bank such as Monzo bank (a bank that lives in your mobile phone) that bars all gambling transactions and create a pot that pays yourself £1 daily for not gambling. This acts as a visual record of gamble free days and a motivational tool. This helps you to build a good relationship with money again as well as lifting yourself esteem and self worth.
3. Finding a replacement for your gambling such as short walks, visit libraries, bike riding, reading etc. You're using nature to fight nature. In a way, so they both cancelled each other out. Anything that is counter productive and stuff that interests you. Take pleasure in normal things again. Rediscover old hobbies and discover new interests that make you smile in the morning.
4. If you get gambling urges- stop, and take a few slow deep breaths. Be aware that the monkey is in your mind. Go and watch Utube clips on recovery gamblers such as Only Phil and the winning hand by an Australian guy- find out as much information as you can to beat this greedy monkey.
5. Gambling is not on the life menu- even the Bible states,"You shall not covet your neighbour goods." Eventhough, you may not be religious, however, it's an invaluable advice. There are no cure in sight- it is a repeating of human behaviour.
6. Try to distinguish yourself and your behaviour- as they're two entities.
Bruce Lee famously quoted,"Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. If you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. If you put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend."
7. As Albert Einstein famously said,"Doing the same thing again and again, but expecting a different outcome, is the definition of insanity,"
8. Time- a gambler need time to gamble. So fill your time with small productive task. If you've a gambling problem- there is a ton of stuff you've been neglecting: your personal appearance or health, the house and garden, your work, relationships and friends etc. More importantly, time is on your side so that the healing process can start.
9. Forgiveness- learn to live with it (the monkey self). As time passes, it will become easier and easier to you naturally - regardless of how much money, energy and time lost in the process. And the necessary steps are put in place to help you battle your inner demon ?
I hope this helps.
Xoi
Ps A thousand mile begins with one step
ben! I cant relate more Im in almost exactly the same spot as you im 18 and i've been gambling since about 17 and i've dug such a huge hole of losses what's your email we can chat and support each other ?. And my weak spot is also Blackjack and roulette online, Blackjack just sucks me in so far after roulette losses. Such a bad situation im in. Yesterday I did a month break on my casino site as I am on the worst possible luck streak I need to stop. I've done like 15 deposits in a row without even a single withdrawal I don't know why I normally cash out some but its cursed at the moment.
James
Hi Ben
everything you mentioned I can relate to every single bit of it. This website is a godsend though for problem gamblers. You’ve made the first step by signing up so well done for acknowledging as they say “the fun stops, stop” although I don’t believe anyone can have a healthy relationship with gambling, the wealthier the gambler the bigger the stakes and i don’t believe anyone finds it completely positive regardless what they tell you.
I come and go from this website and have only recently since September come back for support after a relapse. You’ll know about Gamstop and Gamban and your bank blocking gambling transactions?.. a new thing I’ve put in place is a completely new email address that isn’t linked to any gambling sites as I found they were still sending me promotions which wasn’t helpful. Start a fresh email account and delete forever the old one you used as your primary email. Make sure to add it to gamstop and let other companies/people know the new one. Every time i have a lapse I always put something new in place between me and the problem and this is my most recent layer of protections I’ve given myself.
you’re very young too so you’re allowed to make mistakes. Forgive yourself for being human and understand the professionals that design these games do it based on human psychology. They know exactly what will keep you playing and make you want to stay. In the modern age with smartphones in our pockets it’s even easier than our parents generation to mess up and none of this is taught in school of the dangers of technology and money management and risk. You literally have the rest of your life ahead of you. You’ve got this!
calvin
Hi All thanks for the advice I think definitely the best solution is taking my mind off it and finding something to do is the best way such as cycling as i really enjoyed that in the last lockdown.
I think maybe putting a fiver into a separate account everyday I don't gamble is a good way to see how long I've not gambled and also see the benefits of not gambling as well as saving some money
Bendave11,
Go and give Monzo a try. It can creates different pots. You can easily create a pot for yourself for not gambling paid from the current account of Monzo. And see what you think.
Xoi
Hi mate
I have a really bad roulette addiction casino and online I’m on day 3 of quitting I’ve quit so many times got to 100 days 40 days 70 days some way always end back
I’m sending my wages to partner each month
I’ve blocked everything
she will give me certain amount each month I I will be doing the for next year and go from there this way I will save loads and can focus
it’s really not easy and roulette is the quickest way to burn money!!!
your still young. you can beat this. dont get to my age [31] and still be struggling with a gambling addiction. you clearly are aware you have a problem and its great you have been open and honest about it dude
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
