I found out last April my father has been a gambling addict for the last 20 years. He rang me up crying saying how much he had let me down and that he had blown £200,000 since 2012. I knew he had a problem, I had lent him £4,000 since 2014 but didnt know how bad it was till he finally admitted it to me.
I am 27 and started gambling around 21, only sports betting. After 4 months being gamble free,the last week all I have done is been glued to my phone gambling, ive stressed and hardly slept and it has cost me £1,000 and I refuse to lose anymore. I have admitted it to my girlfriend and she is upset and asks me why I do it, I just don't know.
I have been with my girlfriend just over two years and this is my second time I have had a set back, we are trying to save up to move into our own home in a few years and I know she feels let down. She smoked for 6 years and quit last year and says as she quit that I must find a way to quit gambling for good.
I haven't told my parents about my problem, last year I had bad depression & anxiety which nobody knows about and I feel this gambling is linked to it, I am thinking of telling my mum everything just not sure how she will react.
I have just been wondering, is it likely that I have these meltdowns of my own every now and then because of my dad? The first memory i have of him gambling was about 8 years ago, the grand national was on and he was going crazy at the tv, his horse won and he said he won big. I also remember him introducing me to all these different markets to bet on football.
Hi CM3003,
Gambling per se is not heredetry. Certain personality traits, like risk-taking behaviour could be put down to genetics however. Also being introduced to gambling at an early age, experiencing family members gambling around you, will have an impact on the choices and approaches you take towards gambling. This does not mean that it is not possible for you to stop gambling, even if your dad has a gambling problem. But it is important that you look at the approach you are taking. It sounds like you have had successful periods of not gambling, which means you have something to work with. The question is, how to make it more sustainable. What have been your strategies/blocks so far?
Also it sounds you would benefit from some additional support. Have you considered one-to-one counselling? If yes, please get in touch with the Helpline or Netline for a referral. Also a chat with an adviser could help you identify more stustainable strategies.
All the best,
Forum Admin
I sincerely hope not. I would not wish this on any one, let alone my children. Neither of my parents gambled so there is no link there, i don't even know any family members who have done so apart from myself. I am told though that my great grandfather was a big gambler and lost considerable money and land on gambling transactions, he died many years before i was born.
If you search the internet you will find some stories supporting gambling being hereditary and some against. You will also find stories of a UFO crash in Roswell and some stories of an air force balloon crash instead. If gambling was hereditary would it change how you are going to stop gambling and get your life back? If i were you i would leave the hereditary discussion to the doctors and philosophers and control what you can control like seeing your GP, getting counselling, attending and adhering to GA steps or whatever else may work. Unless you have a genetic manipulation machine i would go along and see your GP about your depression and anxiety and if you want to know how bad things can get if left unchecked just look at the mess your poor dad is in. At 27 you have plenty time left to turn your life around but you have to take control yourself nobody or nothing is going to sort your life out for you except yourself, it can be done, i hope you can do it.
Thanks for the replies,I have self excluded myself from the sites i use before but once the 6 Months is over thats when i get sucked in again, i am going to self exclude permanantly this time.
I am going to see my GP too, i gamble because i am depressed at times and i am depressed because of the gambling.
I wouldnt say i gamble because my father does but thinking about it how he has been around me in the past deffinately has pushed me towards it.
I worked out last night that i have lost £2,500 in 2 years due to gambling, not a disaster like some of the stories i have read but i dont want to gamble a penny more.
Yes, I agree. It depends on your environment and behavior. My parents have never gambled, unlike me.
I got the habit from my friends back in college. Not that I'm wishing that I never met them, but I wish I just didn't get involved with their gambling activities in the first place.
The problem with self exclusion is there are new gambling websites being set up every week so no matter how many sites you self exclude from it isn't really an effective way. I know from experience that you only need 5 minutes to register and deposit and away you go on the road to ruin again. When I was in the throes of addiction nothing Would or could stop me, I would find a way. Stay Strong.
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