Hi,
This is the first time in reaching out. It's getting me really down now and I just can't stop it. I've self excluded from all betting shops and done the online exclusion for almost all casino type ones. I think they're done with. But it's the bookies. Even within self exclude they don't stop you going in. I've only been asked to leave one and that's because the lady that works there, I know her boyfriend and she knew about me.
No one knows about this problem but I know it's affecting my life and probably my relationship as a result.
I'm married for 7 years and 2 kids. I need to invest my time and money in them but I seem to gamble at every opportunity I get. Right into the bookies and pump hundreds on the bloody machines. They really shouldn't be allowed.
I don't want to tell any of my family about this addiction and want to stop it without them worrying or even worse consequents. It scares me that I am going to ruin myself but the lore to do it is so strong.
I've said to myself that's the last time after wins and losses but when that thought to go gamble gets in my thought process it's all I can think about doing and I find an excuse to go do it. I can't stop it. And the thought that I shouldn't do it really doesn't enter my head. It's so powerful!
But anyway, I want to do it now, whilst I still have a little bit of cash in my bank, before it ruins me, my life and my family. I'm in debt as a result of my problem. I can manage the payments to resolve but if I carry on I'll be screwed. I'm off the back of a £450 loss in the bookies today. Is that the best time to start? I suppose there is no bad time to start.
This is the first step of my journey and I hope to share how it goes each step of the way with anyone out there in hope that they can help me and I help someone who is in my position.
This is going to be some journey and I think I am strong enough. I have to be!
I agree with caughtup - I have been hiding my problem gambling for more than 5 years and promised myself I would stop every time I lost, but my reality is I could never have stopped by myself no matter how much I tried. I totally agree with the uselessness of self-exclution from betting shops - not only did I exclude, I then went in on different days to show my face to the staff and request they don't let me play, but I think the staff turnover in many is so high this is totally ineffective and I've only ever been challenged once. I am thinking about a Parlimentary request to make membership of betting shops mandatory (since they all have "loyalty" schemes anyway) as I really think this would help. I finally told my partner everything 6 weeks ago and he has taken control of my finances so now I can't gamble even if I really want to, and it's so much better. He reacted much better than I could ever have imagined and life feels like it's on the up. So my advice, don't keep it to yourself.....good luck
Thanks for the words guys.
Yeah, I agree with the membership requirements for these machines. That really makes sense! I'd also like to see a limit on the number of betting adverts which are on TV. It's unbelievable.
Feeling positive about this one. Even though I'm here, I still had the urge to pop in. The little thoughts about how I like a particular game. Even the noises you sometimes hear, I associate with the gaming machines.
But day 1, I've left my wallet at home and I'm ordering one of then prepayment cards which I will load with a weekly amount for essentials and life costs. Will limit the cash withdrawal on them too.
I can do this. I'm strong enough ( I hope).
Cheers guys.
Hi All,
I have just signed up to this as over the last 6 months or so gambliing has got hold of me and can be so dangerous.
Never been a heavy gambler before however started just before christmas. At the time i was in a fitness routine so stopped going out drinking etc when it cames to weekends which gave me more free time and ended up in the bookies.
The only form of gambling that grabs me is the ruthless machines as they are quick wins and very addictive, other forms gambling do not do it for me at all. I would do hundreds at a time obviously with some high wins but the house would always win overall.
It is so dangerous how you can do so much money in such a short time and the problem is even when you win you go back for more and end up losing anyway. I have literally won thousands before at a time which gets you buzzing but you do nothing productive with that money, if you can get out bookies quick enough might have big night out or go shopping but vast majority it would end up going back in.
As said this has happened to me in such a short peroid to the point over the last 2 months i have pretty much done my onth wages soon as i got paid. The disgusting feeling you get inside you when that happens is awful and it last for day or weeks after. Also having to come clean to people is a very low feeling, just awful.
How this can happen so fast going from a guy who is finically secured in a job that pays reasonably well to literally having nothing and being in 10 grand in debt from bank loans etc.
I now have to set up payment plans to get on top of this now, it will be okay as i will get through this peroid i know i will however got to learn from mistakes.
Since my last big blow out i did not go in bookies for weeks however must admit been in twice playing with small amounts and just feel so guilty for it.
Never bothered with the self exclusions before and agree they wouldnt work, the way i see it if you want to gamble you will as it is so accessible on high street and online.
To put yourself through this pain more then one occasion can not be over a lack of willpower or being stupid, got to be more to it then that i do not know.
Agreed with comments above once it is in your head to gamble nothing else comes into your mind or think about the dangers you just go for it. I have to stop as cant be like this for the rest of my life, need to work out what best way is going forward to stop this.
I agree that High St bookies exclusion schemes are laughably ineffective. All the major bookies have ' loyalty ' points schemes which are plastic card based so surely it wouldn't be that difficult to roll out a similar scheme for self exclusion for FOBTs ?
Each brand of bookies could operate their own scheme or, ideally, it would work nationally. As with the points system a punter would have to insert their membership card into the machine. If they were registered as being in an exclusion scheme they would not be able to play. Simple and effective and effective and most problem gamblers would be happy to pay a reasonable amount if the bookies said cost was a stumbling block.
Sounds pretty simple but we all know bookmakers are really only interested in squeezing every last penny out of their customers. Unless the government orders them to implement it there's precious little chance of it ever happening
Hi mate,
I completely understand your problem, whereas the bookies has never been my main problem (online and arcades), I can understand there's nothing that can really stop you going into the bookies, just like there's nothing that can stop me going into arcades. You've got to really want to stop. I've tried several times before and after a number of days I've caved and gone back. This time I feel different. Think to the past, think of all those times you've felt horrible. More importantly, think to the future. Imagine what life will be like if you don't quit NOW. Think of what that trip to the bookies will lead to, regardless of whether you win or lose.
I know certain methods to extract maximum possible value out of some games, (compensated, not random) that still exist in pubs. This is the hardest thing for me to stop, especially in times of financial crisis like I am going through at the moment. I tell myself what it will lead to, even if I win out of one pub fruit machines.im back to square one. I don't want to be back to square one. And neither do you. Keep strong and don't let these evil schemes win, and ruin another decent person. You can do this. If you can beat arguably the most powerful addiction on this planet, there's really not a lot you can't do. Stay strong pal
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