Thank you, Stephen, I have indeed hit 300 days gambling free and it's been a rollercoaster - because it is not easy.
I attribute my achievement to one main action I have taken. I passed full financial control to my wife. We agreed it would be forever and she has full sight of all bank statements and balances, always.
This morning, I have £5 on me for lunch.
I had Gamcare counselling at the start of my 300 days, 12 sessions, that really helped me get into the right state of mind.
I've kept up the Guru Challenge, although health issues have got in the way from time to time; my drinking has increased a lot, but, the doctor has warned me about this and I will do something about this.
I'm playing snooker once a week, a hobby that I'm getting into again (starting to get regular double-digit breaks - more like 10-15 but a start 🙂 )
Would I gamble without the financial controls in place? I must be honest - more than likely. I'm just no good if I have means to ready cash. My addiction has been so longstanding I simply don't have an answer to this - yet. That's just how it is. No point me pretending otherwise.
I have been engaging with another Gamcare user on another thread on the subject of recovery. They said that not gambling day-to-day with blocks was more like abstaining, rather than true recovery.
I took the point but argued that permanently abstaining day-to-day is the same, provided that we put in place sufficient blocks so that we couldn't gamble even if we wanted to. After time, maybe, just maybe, we might be cured.
I think that the person I was chatting to was a non-gambler; it sometimes takes a gambling mindset to fully understand the big picture of what we are actually going through.
The longer we abstain, the better chance of us not coming back to it, is the theory, but, of course, we are always one bet away from that dreaded relapse, that 'hard landing' that can potentially send us all the way back to disaster if we don't watch it.
Have I found it easy, these last 300 days? No. Have I cheated? No. I would tell you - like I did last time. Will I continue? Yes, and whilst I have the blessed freedom of choice to continue, it's actually because there's no choice, really. It's how gambling affects me, drags me and my mood down, worsens my prospects, disadvantages my family, wastes my time. Never mind the money.
Do share your thoughts everyone. Let's share what we think.
On a final note, on the 10 tips I posted yesterday, one of them suggested making negative conatations for the gambling operators.
That's a good idea; using a mnemonic can help us remind ourselves of the damage they do.
I'll start us off.
Lad-broke: 'cos that's what you'll be
NotFred - no, Fred, we're not 'biting' today
Gaga bingo - because that's what it will send you!!!
All the best
Mixer
Well done Mixer on reaching 300 days without a bet ... can relate to alot of what you have been through and take inspiration from your journey, also the time and effort you put into running this challange is admirable.
Checking in on day 180 gamble free,glad to have made it this far and aim to keep on the right path however hard sometimes that might be.
Hey Mixer congrats on the 300 up sir GURU . Glad to hear you are on the mend bro it’s hard when you are enjoying the booze and the quack puts the mockers on it but you have to listen to em init. My old man semi retired a few years back and had a similar warning to cut the booze after he ended up down the WMC every avo/night sesh so he took a full time job on again just to keep busy like he’s 64 this year and been sound last 3/4 years since earning like.
Anyhow pal I have much admiration and hope to still be gamble free and a GURU alongside you in the Autumn.
Have a great Thursday evening people. Enjoy the England game, a glass of wine in the garden, a walk in the park, an early night or maybe even go gets some fish and chips!!!
Wise words Mixer - you’ve just done great getting to 300 days - I wish in some ways that I could relinquish control of my finances too. I don’t really have anyone in my life that I could hand over full control to - so it’s not an option for me at the moment.
Glad ur feeling better. I’m checking in 16 days gamble free and feeling the benefit although money still tight from my previous stint of gambling !
BDF
Hi Mixer, well done on 300-up. What an achievement that is!
I’m pleased to see you are on the mend as well. I think there is always a danger us (hopefully ex)CGs can replace one vice with another, but at least you’ve had an early warning, so you have time to react but it ends up doing you harm.
I’ll throw in...
*****(less) against the resolve of those of us on this thread giving it up for good!
Bet (un)fair. Because you will always lose.
Failed myself, my challenge and my family, back to day 1 for me 🙁
Hi xangel and everyone. I am in the same boat xangel. I went to a casino to ban and then I played first... was really out of it and did not even have the energy to ban. Yet , this place was far enough away to stay away. I just can not deal with dishonesty anymore. I have to at least be honest here. tara2
Morning Mixer and the Guru Challengers.
Regretfully I gambled on friday but have not given up hope will keep trying.
Wishing everyone well. Stephen x
Day 1 for me had a bad evening, excluded from all sites today like I should have done from the beginning, hope it makes a difference. Tried gamstop but asked when I took out a credit card last but I haven't ever taken out a credit card and was no option for that so it said it couldn't identify me.
It is so good we can be honest here if no where else, the strength I have found to start again is only possible because I found this forum. So glad we have eachother and are hanging in there, hopefully through these times of relapsing we can be stronger each time. Lets sail this boat together, much love to you all.
angel x
Good afternoon everyone.
I’ll be posting a mini-update later on today; meantime enjoy your weekend and, if you have relapsed, get back on that gambling-free “horse” straightway - there really is no time to lose!
I’m going to focus on relapsing in my pre-amble to tonight’s mini-catchup, and how we have to keep plugging the gaps.
Take care everyone.
Mixer
P.S. Your honesty in these posts is always respected and the right thing to do. We’re all anonymous here, here’s a place we CAN be truly honest. It’s a stepping stone to our future gambling-free lives, where honesty to our loved ones is a pre-requisite.
tear Great that you got to 300 mixer, and hope your well, you have truly inspired me to continue 7 weeks on Tuesday a first in 10 years and I feel stronger everyday I see the number of days go up. Plus I am doing this without anyone else knowing about it, but I do have all the necessary stops in place to help. With out you and the other people on here I don’t think I could do it I can only remain strong and keep going!!
Thanks guys
Jeff
To anyone that has relapsed or is being tempted please listen to Snow Patrol’s Don’t give in. It’s inspirational to me.
Find that song inspirational too thank you, like an old lesson learned. Love it very much x
Checking in. Still GF - 13 days
Mini rollcall - 10th June 2018
Good evening everyone and welcome to the latest mini-rollcall. It is sad to read that some of us have relapsed over the last week. You won’t find me being judgemental about it - I’ve relapsed many times over the years and paid the price. It’s sad, though, because three things can happen when we fall off the wagon:
Egham - thank you for checking in. 13 days - ‘unlucky’ for some, but lucky for you because you’re creating your own good luck by making the right decisions.
xangle11x - thank you for your honesty about your recent relapse and great to see you’re doing something about it. Remember - break the triangle and you can’t gamble 🙂
Godoicul - A very good song choice and, as always, the medium of music adds that extra emotional attachment that we sometimes need to bolster up our determination to succeed. You’re doing great.
Jeffutd - 40 days gambling free under your belt and continuing to motor, one day at a time. I’ve responded to a couple of your threads elsewhere. Keep going!
Stephen67 - keep going, my friend. It’s (irritatingly) weird how the gambling devil can sneak up on us when we least expect it. Keep trying to ensnare the little ****** !
caughtup - delighted to read that you’ve immediately recognised that dipping your toe in the gambling swimming pool is the very worst thing you can do; so you’re starting again, all the wiser. That’s good!
Tara2 - casinos appear to be your weakness; why not bite the bullet, say “to hell with it” and ban yourself from the lot - playingsafe.org.uk will do just that 🙂
Ukds69 - thank you for your kind words. And chipping in with some suggestions as to what to call these cynical, destructive gambling companies.
boxingdayfresh - It’s difficult to deal with finances without someone with whom to entrust our money. But there are things you can do; here are a few suggestions (the third post in this thread) - http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/“i”-will-never-have-money-again
Chartom3 - Great to hear from you and thank you for the kind words. Doing great on 180+ days; keep it going, my friend. Never easy, but we’re all with you here.
Bigmug - thank you for your update; keeping away from gambling temptations is an absolute minimum as you know; putting in blocks the next very big step.
Adam123 - thank you as always for your sterling support with this thread; it’s great to know that the good vibes we have are kept going with sincere support from fellow Challengers such as your good self. Also great to see you back in the gambling free ‘seat’.
Here's a poem:
Hour after hour,
I would sit in front of you.
Pressing spin, or upping the ante,
trying to impress who?
I've left you so many times,
but each time found myself back,
You keep close to me,
waiting for a crack.
Some days I was strong,
and you had no hold.
But you stayed close to me,
ready to welcome me back into the fold.
I've lied to everyone,
and many believe my story.
One day it wouldn't matter,
because I'd find my glory.
I'd strike it rich,
and the money would flow free.
And what a big shot,
everyone will see in me.
There once was a time,
when we were friends I'm sure.
But enjoyment and peace,
you give me no more.
You helped me escape,
from everything in life.
But it all comes back in the end,
and cuts like a knife.
I could have had everything I wanted,
without wagering a dollar.
But you took it all,
and left me in squalor.
But the battle carries on,
and eventually I'll win.
For every time you've knocked me down,
I've stood up again.
I've told my family
and I've told my friends
I admitted my wrongs,
and try to make amends.
Things have been lost,
which I cannot regain.
They stay with me in my heart,
and oft feel the pain.
I can see the true me,
when I keep you at bay.
I can keep my head high,
when I live just for today.
I'm not a perfect man,
and never will be.
But that doesn't mean,
life has no happiness for me.
For when I accept,
the problem within.
I finally see,
a game I can win.
Just for today I did not gamble
Keep smiling everyone!
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